Walking on the road to recovery ........ 🤔

I find that highly appropriate @Teej ...... 😏

Dont know what I would do without my emoji’s ..... lol

There would be a lot of blank page .....

@Teej I am glad you are more settled.

It is good your psychiatrist has made clear commitments to you.

I remember when you first moved in to your house. They were stressful times, but you have steered your lil ship.

We have been walking along together for a long time.

Change is difficult, I am looking at it too, as my current set up will finish up in first half of next year.

I love it when you include me in your posts.

Hope we keep finding strength and compassion in our hearts, for ouselves and each other.

@Appleblossom, @Sans911, @CheerBear, @Faith-and-Hope, @outlander @Zoe7 and all who may pass through here.

todays thought

Recovery sucks 😳:face_with_rolling_eyes:(So eloquent! NOT 🤦‍♀️)

Ive made a mess of lots of things lately doing what I do best which is creating chaos from seemingly small things. One of the things that I’m carrying lots very confusing emotions still is how to be on the forum. I really hate that I’ve been quite self absorbed and exclusive. This is not a me I’m proud of at all. I’ve always carried some pride about being inclusive. That has turned to guilt and shame and frustration at myself. I am however so very grateful to those that I’ve turned to for support in recent weeks. I’m also so very grateful for those who have responded and I’ve not responded back.

Somehow i've had lots of things tangled and confused in my head regarding me on the forum. My tangled thoughts have bought on lots of tangled feelings as well often creating a lovely mashed banana brain:face_with_rolling_eyes: which has been definitely not cool.

Long story long I’ve been so confused about my identity for months (ok years) but this has been more in an extreme form. There have seemed so many contradictions that I am struggling with....BUT I think that maybe for just now I have some professional support that is more helpful than harmful.

I’m still scared of lots of things next year, more than I’ve ever been. It’s helped so much to see @Zoe7 put on her brave and step out. It’s helped to see @Sans911 put one foot in front of the other and follow her passions with volunteering. It’s helpful to watch @Faith-and-Hope juggle her new life with all that gets thrown in (my head spins at times 😘) @Appleblossom it’s always helpful to read what you are doing and how you are following your passion to lead a life worth living. @Former-Member although I haven’t responded much it’s been inspiring watching you overcome hurdle after hurdle. I think this year you should be crowned the resilience queen 👸. And then there is the rave thread with all those who pass through that make me smile and inspire me to get back up when things are crappy. I’m too scared to name all. @Former-Member just knowing you are still around and feeling your presence is awesome. I’m still inspired by you keeping on going with lots of challenges. @outlander I have so much faith in you watching you get through really hard things for one so young. And to @CheerBear who has managed to keep me hanging in the forum over the last few months. I know that connection over lots of the little things has helped hugely as has the positivity you bring. It’s been really inspiring to see you overcome your challenges which are thrown at you from every direction. It often helps me to put my big girl pants on when I don’t want to 😘.

So this is me trying to find me but especially some of the old forum me. I know I have to limit my time here to try and achieve life goals outside the forum (apparently there is a whole world out there I’m supposed to be part of 😳😯😜) but I want to be better at being more supportive and more inclusive. I’m not sure what that looks like yet but I will try a restart. Hoping some of the old supportive forum teej comes back but without the constant extreme crises and total chaos from the old days.

Best wishes to anyone reading this 💜🤗

Omg @CheerBear, @outlander and everyone.

I just looked back and wrote nearly an identical post not long ago. The same stuff has been twirling in my head for so long. Feeling like a total idiot just now 🤦‍♀️. Today I’ve worn my heart on my sleeve so much 😫😮😬. I’ve pretty much messed up everything I’ve written (including emails) even though I had a few aha moments this morning. 😬😖.

not going to give up yet. Pulling on bl##*y ginormous big girl pants (and covering my face with them 🤦‍♀️). Luckily protective factors are coming home tonight. 🤞🏻

I have always found finding you under the support button as a great thing - especially when I am not feeling like I am ok and that extra little support means so much. SOmetimes simply clicking that button is enough @Teej and when I do see you either in a post or under the support button it brings a smile to my face. It is okay to not be okay and it is also okay to not be a constant presence on the forum - you are who is important here and although I hear that you want to be more present on the forum it is more than okay to stick to the threads and members that you find support you the most. You have given so much over the time I have been here to me ...and to others ...and if you need to be less present then that is okay. I do love reading your posts and the way you put into words (when you can) what is going on for you - as little or as much as you can write is okay too. We all go through different stages Teej and just for now it is your turn to receive the support that you have so readily given out in the past.

Hugs and hugs and much love Hon

@Teej Dropping off a hug. Only online, never in real life.