your feelings about the use and 'misuse' of food in your life...

Hi my virtual mum @Appleblossom,

yes, it was teribble after WWII my grandmother was forced to work in to coal pits, she was given 1 day off to have my father, she had to lay him in the pits as she was working, they lived on cabbiage and potatoe soup for every meal and for a treat, dad got 1 peice of rye bread with lard and a light sprinkling of sugar. life was really tough after the war, i agree @Appleblossom, men and their egos trigger wars. and everyone else suffers.

im sorry you over eat too, i am doing it so much now to cope with my lack of sleep and panic attacks.

yes, the pure breed thing gets to me too, no one is pure anything, our DNA shows we all come from 1 race of people. we just pick and choose to suit our prejudice, so sad.

hugs my dear friend, we all have our coping mechanisms, some good some bad.

Jacques

My last concert was called "Peace" composed by a german jew about a german jew who was born in North Melbourne.

I am not sure why you say that @TAB DId I not treat you with enough inclusion and respect? Its alright, know you like the younger ladies and we are age peers. I am offended, but will get over it, your loss.

I think part of my eating has been to keep men at bay like my bad hair days. A safety ploy ... mixed motivations for behaviours do vary ... It works well in giving me space from men who objectify women and hold generalisations that may casue them to be unkind to me..

Today I had a lovely coffee date in a safely public place. He bought a tiny friond, cut off some and encouraged me to eat the rest. It took a while ... as I can cut up food in tiny pieces, but eventually I ate it all... no excess and as no waste and in total friendly agreement. However we were time poor so had to toss last bit straight into my gob as the waiter ushered us out at 5pm.

Sorry @TAB

No worries.

That sort of power.

Good Luck.

Storms have need mad over east side too.

Hi @Hope4me .....

I don’t have it perfected .... cos “perfect” doesn’t exist ..... but I have a comfortable relationship with food, and I use it for various things ....

Nutrition

Hunger satiation

Mood stabiliser (like my morning coffee .... will have an afternoon one too if I need a pick-me-up)

Socialisation (catch up with friends)

Celebration (mark special events)

Enjoyment (😄)

Creativity (food can be art)

Medicine

Gifts

Don’t know whether y’all have considered food from all these perspectives ..... it’s not your enemy ..... it’s very much a friend ....

I have a weight issue ..... caused by metabolic syndrome ...... seated in a high level of stress management ..... it’s complicated.

Stress causes insulin release (as I understand it from medical consultation) as surely as over-eating in general, or dietary and lifestyle imbalance such as lack of exercise, and / or not enough sleep.

The only th8ng tha5 is moving my extra weight, which is visceral f-t stores, is by moderate exercise, moderate eating, enough sleep (min 6 hours), increasing self-care, and actively practicing stress-reduction techniques. Resolving the issues with Mr F&H is high on that agenda, but it ain’t gonna happen overnight, no matter which way you look at it .....

So ..... on the question of cake .....

It will usually only take about 3 teaspoons of something to satiate the taste for it, if a taste for it is what is driving you ..... so have 3 teaspoons full of cake, then push the rest away / wrap it up and put it in the freezer / give the rest to someone else / throw it away / drizzle detergent over it.

If you’re upset, seriously upset, and want to eat the whole cake ..... then serve yourself a small piece with a cup of tea or coffee and put the rest away in the fridge. Eat the cake, drink the coffee ..... and if you still want to eat the whole cake, then serve yourself another piece ..... with another cup of tea or coffee ..... and put the rest of the cake away in the fridge. Eat the cake, drink the coffee ..... and if you still want to eat the whole cake ..... keep repeating these steps ..... and I reckon you’ll be too full of coffee and over whatever it was by then, so at least half the cake will still be left. Stick it into the freezer, and don’t buy another one until that one is gone ..... which means you’ve got to defrost it the next time you’re that upset .....

Can you see what this is ? It’s actually a relationship with yourself. You are discussing it and reasoning with it as you’re sorting yourself out with the aid of the cake ..... told ya food is a friend ..... 😊

Now, consult your food-friend about which types of it are gonna help you lose weight, and sort it into everyday foods, sometimes foods, party / celebration foods (and drink) and stick to the plan ..... 80% or so of the time. Tell your Inner Critic to sit in the back seat with this one .... you’ve got it .... and you will call on them if you need help sometimes ...... maybe .... cos you’ll find you’ve generally got it.

Does that help anybody ?

Hi everyone,

@TAB @Faith-and-Hope @Appleblossom @Jacques @Hope4me @Former-Member

Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts here. I had a bad kind of a day yesterday with food. Getting anxious just thinking about it and trying to work out exactly how I would write about it!

I will have to go over your relpies agian this afternoon when I get some more time to myself.

I feel optimistic this morning, so I'm hoping to have a good day.

Will write soon,

xx

Morning @Sahara;

Bugger about yesterday; glad you're doing ok today. The stress you've confronted about food and writing says volumes.

When I make a decision to change my lifestyle for instance, I get a feeling of foreboding and end up craving unhealthy food with a vengence. It's a cycle I'm here to confront.

I hope to be around when you get back to us this arvo. 🙂

Morning @Faith-and-Hope;

Thanks for contributing your wisdom. Food is all those things you mentioned to me as well. To add to this list is my habitual use of food as comfort or more like a friend; a go-to for loneliness. It's very prevalent for me to shove down disappointment/fear/anger as I haven't quite worked out how to express them positively all the time, but have come a long way in learning. It's a work in progress..

Your step by step process intrigues me. I was aiming more at not eating the cake at all as it's not a healthy choice. What happens with me, is fighting within myself to push the cake away. This creates conflict and eventually anxiety. In extreme cases, a panic attack occurs. Eating the cake as you've suggested, whether it's a little or the whole thing, seems to defeat the purpose of wanting/having the power to say 'no'.

The thing is, at times I 'can' say no. I'm not in the grip of this behaviour all the time. Only when my internal environment screams out for it. It's difficult to explain to a person who doesn't understand just how it feels I'm afraid.

@Appleblossom @TAB @Former-Member

Thanks for your contributions. Can you say 'no' whenever you want to?

Hope