Mountain madness

early days being diagnosed with bipolar disorder spending time in a mental health unit adjusting to meds thinking that mental health advice had to be adhered to when after years embracing risky ideas And behavior I had started my own business And challenged myself every step of the way, lack of sleep and all made shit load of friends and partied like tomorrow never was to come <br>It seems life was an awesome buzz and some heavy down times In between, but unable to manage my own life and relationships contemplating suicide at times when there was nothing to be down about I was failing on a personal level every time so I turned back to get assistance hoping I wouldn't end up alone because of this I found a Psycologist I felt comfortable with then Psyciatrist who just threw medication at me and assumed I would keep taking it religiously and not self medicate ;Then the Psycologist left town to private practice all I seemed to do is a heap of K10 forms and hand over my trust to a professional who I don't trust and who can't see the complexity in living with this for 10 years now other than mind numbing meds being the answer I gave up on psychology And medication I felt like an idiot that was paying more than I had to learn behavior therapy I can't sustain
;Lesson learnt my demons hate exercise so I punish them with it couple that with late night down hill sk8 pushes my anxiety and desire for risk &
;I climb mountains most days but sometimes i have to sit at the bottom and recognize its a huge mountain and I ain't a mountain goat