Child Loss & MH

💔 i miss being mum to my girl with wings

💔 i miss have a sister who is above my blues

💔 but most of all this year

💔 my first without my mum

💔 miss a world without them

💔 Daughter 💔 sister 💔 mum

thinking of you @Former-Member

My precious girl - only just turned 13

Its been a while since I posted here. ANNIVERSARIES are hard. This day, yesterday, marked another lost milestone, my girls 21st. She diet 7yrs ago 😞

Ha! I just heard herherherher, in spirit, correct me...

"NOT LOST, I'M STILL HERE! WITH YOU"

I'd love to get her a gold key chain to signify her 'coming of age' (like i had), and throw a party, but i can't.

I have instead remember her by

(1) wearing purple clothes

(2) booking the w'end away on the coast. where I know she would have loved to visit more.

(3) contacted her brother, my son, to rememberhet WITH him, for her.

My son struggles with it all, and shuts me out a lot. It hurts that I can't help him more. Today he said he's sick in bed all day but wouldn't say why. Plz pray for him too.

They say planning positive actions helps. And I needed to plan because of stronng suicidal thoughts to use this date.

My son (now an only childchild who feels he lost both parents then too), He sruggles with it all, and shuts me out a lot, it hurts that I can't help him more. Today he said he's sick in bed all day but wouldn't say why. IAt least I can only pray for him.

Unfortunately I've been sick myself, and had to make an urgent trip to DR for stronger asthma medication (not easy since my girl died with asthma, and I had to go to A&E as away from home and no medical centers open today - big trigger but low energy lebels sure limits reactions.

Fortunately God had filled the gap of lost family (who all pull away after losd im told, especially child loss I'm told. I miss my sister, and my mum who died this yearyear, and my only sister who has cut me out of her life - cold as ever).

But, God had stepped in, my new friend from church (spirit sistet) not only kept me company for the weekend but also

- dressed up in purple with me

- made a card with purple flowers

- brang a purple tablecloth for breakfast.

WOW! who does all that? Validating my pain with actions.

Well, its not sunrise (the next day) so thought I'd post for my girls day 'sooner than later' i Miss her

SURVIVED THE WEEKEND!!!

Today I drive home (2hrs), please pray i stay alert, especially with such a precious sister onboard, and dog.

Oh, nearly forgot, my dad rang me (got one of the nurses to help him). No way he'd remember the significance of this day - given his dementia (and being male lol) but I can at least say ONE family member remembered me today. Not only that, here he is in a nursing home needing help with basic ADL's and he's offetingvto come pick me up - worried how I'll get back. How sweet. He's probably mixing me up with mum but its still sweet.

Thanks for listening

@Faith-and-Hope @Appleblossom

(grr won't tag properly), @Dec, @outlanderoutlander, and anyone who cares. Maybe @DarcyDarcy ...