Worry Room - Get it out, and walk away: No responses please

It is too hard.

I am too stretched and snap goes the elastic.

People will never be able to understand.

It seems my post on the previous page about my frustration with the educational and health systems letting my son down has been taken out of context and used to insult me in another thread. So I feel the worry room has been misused. I never had conflict within those systems, flourished even and have also posted about my gratitude to them, but I was also swept aside and under the carpet along with my son.

I often use plain or textbook language as I dont have the relaxed familiarity of much spoken language. Probably undiagnosed Aspie. I have posted about my struggle with this before.

I was seething for my son when I posted that. The commissioner hopes for healing. My anger is usually repressed and I work hard at doing that and not simply giving in to it. Got work to do. I dont just blame everyone. Sad that some people dont get me. That's Life. So be it. Their loss.

A lot of us have been muzzled and had our words twisted. I know the issues are difficult.

I have been authentic on this forum but self and family care is paramount now.

I didn't go into many forums because i like to talk in depth and with understanding among only the people i can get along with. When people sync with each other their minds are tied together. Simple words need not be spoken, languages need not be barricades, telepathic vibrations flew between hearts across the oceans. I have requested permanent removal from this organisation, since i was invited here initially for different reasons. Bidding farewell to my 2 beloved friends here...i will remember our sharing and support we had for each other and wishing us all safe journeys within ourselves and in our future undertakings
..,💐💐 xx.

I can't do this tonight, I am not coping. I thought I would be ok but I am not. It got all too much and all I can do is cry. I can't help myself anymore let alone someone else. I do not want to be here anymore, it's gotten too much. I wish I could say I'm not good, but I am so much worse than that.

Stupid. Stupid. Pathetic.

How are you @Appleblossom ? xx

How is your son?

@Former-Member

We havent caught up for a while......I'm sorry, I needed to have a long break as my caring role was too much for a while with my husband.

How are you today?

What self care are you doing?

I've been having tea and coffee with my friends today and also got a friend to come over and spend time with my husband....

I just need to get this out of my head …

I don’t know when I got so afraid of the world, so afraid of everything. I’ve never felt safe, but I wasn’t always this afraid.

I struggle so much to connect with people. It has always been a problem and I know why it has become harder for me trust in recent years. But even here online, I have no confidence to join in, and when I do, I hate myself for doing it. I feel worthless, like I have nothing of value to offer, like I am just getting in the way. I still try though; I try not to take the easy route and isolate (even though most of the time I feel like a creepy stalker, floating around, reading but rarely talking).

Then this morning there was a horrible post that triggered a major panic attack for me. I reported the post and it was deleted and dealt with—and I am very grateful to the moderators for that. But now I feel even less safe. Now I’m worried that this place I thought was relatively safe, really isn’t. I’m scared this person will come back with a new name and catch me unawares again. But mostly I feel so stupid for over-reacting—even though I know it was out of my control.

Sometimes I wish I could manage just a little self-compassion. Sometimes I wish I had one person in my life (who isn’t a cat) who could sit with me or give me a hug or say ‘hey, it’s okay’ (even if it isn’t).

… and I know it won’t help me sleep and I know I’ll beat myself up for posting it, but there it is, out of my head.

Dear @Former-Member

Thank you for the message.....It can get very hard can't it.

How are you sleeping ?

I wonder if I met you before I went on a break.....no matter what: your name brings up great images for me...

PeppyPatti

We met briefly on a random thread back in mid-September, @PeppiPatty.

Thank you for the reply, although I really wasn’t looking for one (that’s why I like this thread).

Unfortunately, sleep has never been my friend. I hope you sleep well later.

Good night. 🌷