Hello all
I spent hours without exaggeration trying to remember user names. Go back over posts supported; responses; reading updates of news.
I struggle as many on the forums do, remembering each person's situation.
I persevered and tagged many attempting to write something to most of you. This is on living with ourselves thread. Or should I say it is not on there as it sits somewhere suspended.
This is me wanting to connect with you.
I need you to know that you are included; respected and thought of.
My physical situation along with mind is a slow battle.
My post sits happily in drafts.
I have clicked on it numerous times to open it up to attempt to post the message yet again. I am just returned to the menu of looking after ourselves.
I realise that this is possibly a situation experienced by others.
I believe there are sections where Henry X has spent much time and effort to clarify yet another conundrum in my non techno world.
My mind will not allow me to go searching for those sections as it takes me straight to a place of feeling useless and insignificant.
I note that there is a peer group session coming up about "failure".
This is a brilliant topic as that one word encompasses a whole myriad of feelings; messages; life experiences. This is just an opener.
Yes a never ending post.
I am frightened to post it on the worry room which is my way of shouting from the rooftops virtually.
I do not want to stir up emotions or upset others.
This has happened to me far too often and it mirrors my lifelong struggle with being heard.
I realise that it is a technical issue whether mine or elsewhere.
I just need to acknowledge what the experience does when the programmed brain takes you back to long term thinking.
Ping
Please take from this message that this is how I am feeling now in this moment.
This is not how I feel constantly or an indication of who I am either. As with all of you.
Take care all of you.
Quandary.
The mind then decides to take over and remind me that the insidious feeling of guilt has travelled with me for the majority of my life.
Despite the fact that I am now fully aware that this is as a result of how I have been treated by family members; extended family; acquaintances; medical people.
I know that I am not alone in this dilemma. I do not feel self pity. I feel a very strong sense of empathy for all of you.
I want to shout from the rooftops that we are far more than you have left us feeling. We are valuable human beings with so much to offer this world
Should a bird fly over and you feel something wet on your face.
Perhaps it might be a shortened version of my suspended draft determined to reach you😣
