Worry Room - Get it out, and walk away: No responses please

Hello @Snowie

"Gaslighting" Is a term with which I have only recently become familiar. Normally, as I understand it, there is clear intention Underping and supporting such activity. Obviously, I don't know if that is what you are experiencing, but I would think, the effect is the same when other people thoughtlessly dismiss our activities or demean us in other ways.

Certainly, from what I have seen in various locations and threads on the forum, you have consistently offered support, often in areas in which I found it difficult to engage. I acknowledge not just your efforts, but your persistence and tenacity.

I believe that, If we are finding our space devoid of nurturing support, we need to suppliment our reserves by seeking nurturing and mental nourishment outside those spaces. We can often continue in difficult circumstances, when we find those resources.

With My Very Best Wishes

@HenryX

I am enraged to see my friend suffer through this, it's as if it's me experiencing it for the 375 million billionth time!

It's what too many males in their own perceived positions of power do to any females, or those they perceive as lesser than them, who dares voice a concern, a worrisome personal thought, an experience of frustration and anger, or an opinion that does not support their own, or stroke their fragile ego.

We were told it was a safe place to express ourselves, that everyone present would honour that. And yet, again, like so many times before, somebody thought they needed to smack that poor person down for expressing their honest feelings.

How dare you ignore the rules, clearly stated right there in black and white, and a few other colours too usually, in every single iteration of the project, in every updated copy of the posting, in every single activity in the area.

Is it ignorance, a type of blindness, I hesitate to think it's arrogance borne of the belief that they have ALL the answers to all the problems, because usually they're very kind, often amusing, and pleasant to have around. I know you can read, because you write so eloquently, so why do you do it? Over and over and over again. Just stop it.

I spoke up, politely, carefully, questioned the behaviour but not the person, and got told it's not my fight, but part of it IS my fight, and if I walk away when I see someone needing support, what does that say of ME. I hit a brick wall because I'm one those deemed to be 'lesser'.

That one thing has clearly shown me that it is NOT a safe place. I have nowhere left to turn now. I'm frightened, angry, frustrated, sad and even more depressed than ever after that experience, and those who knew better should have done something about it by now, but they haven't. I'm worried about what this will mean for the others too.

Update following on from this and my vent/ post below:

Good news. The entity involved has recognised the security protocols were breached; those responsible have been removed; my friend is in a safe place; other threats are being followed up on and investigations are under way.

The worry room thread...

A place to come to spill your thoughts in a non judgemental environment with no response...at least that's what I thought it was?

Am I missing something?

I joined in as best as I could in the boundaries topic talk as well as tonight's which also had a great deal of references to boundaries. Isn't saying no response on the thread a boundary?

It is a boundary.
I'd like to say how hard a life can be with mental illness and highly disfunctional messed up family. I'm floundering but there's no ankor, so end up right back at the same place... broken. No matter how hard I've tried it's trashed. I'm so done. Don't need it, relationships are hard. Bad interactions these days make me want to die. I go home and torture myself all night sometimes. Formulating several suicide plans. Yesterday I had to ring Blue Care phone support. They were good, but moved Menon quickly. I Learnt a new quote "YOU DON'T HAVE TO SET YOURSELF ON FIRE TO KEEP OTHERS WARM" I Quite like that reminder to respect my own needs too.

I forgive myself for everything. I forgive myself and set myself free.

I'm done with everything. Done offering help, offering information, sharing experiences, knowledge, a shoulder to cry on, what ever support I am able to offer, I'm done with it.

I've realised (too late) too many people would rather stay in their little bubble of complaints and poor me attitudes than put in any effort at all to help themselves. That makes me so sad. so so sad.

At least here no response is the expectation so to be ignored is what should happen. I despise what humans have turned into, perhaps it was always there and now the speed of information spreading makes it worse.

I am an aberration with my 'do something' attitude even while drowing in my own oubliette of abject despair from chronic, recalcitrant, clinical depression + other MI issues. But, because I am coherent, manage daily tasks, and 'seem together', I am deemed not ill at all.

Oh, you despicable, judgemental, egotistical, all knowing idiots, I hope you get yours really, really soon. And I hope I get to hear about it.

Update following on from this and my vent/ post above:

Good news. The entity involved has recognised the security protocols were breached; those responsible have been removed; my friend is in a safe place; other threats are being followed up on and investigations are under way.

I feel so disheartened by the despair, disillusionment and heightened levels of self righteous anger, accompanied by vile and negative wishes and hopes expressed and directed toward others. It is a situation that I find difficult to comprehend and from which I recoil. Even those who shout about being offended, are often participants in the very activity by which they claim to have been offended. Sometimes there are super exaggerated claims of having personally experienced or observed the suffering of others as a result of such perceived injustices. Unfortunately, these same people claim to be above such “justice”, often presenting unpleasantness, accusations and wishes for retribution against those, to whom their so-called justice should be metered out. Such Justice for what may be, at times, a relatively minor, but well-intentioned infraction of what may often be unobserved or suggested “rules”, over which it is hoped that meaningful suggestions may have been presented for the assistance of others. It smacks of the essence of trials of witches and subsequent burnings at the stake, of lynch mobs with their obligatory hanging at the conclusion of the chase. We hear thinly veiled references to sexism, misogyny, egoism and verbal abuse. Yet I see contributions, toward the alleviation of the suffering of others, by some who make such accusations, very rarely, if ever.

I expect that no-one will read this "because this is a place where we come to dump our own waste and walk away."

I wish I could get through just one day without stuffing up.

Feeling hopeless

I have been giving too much of myself away to people. I need to be more careful with how I make friends. I need to get to know people before I open myself up to them. I need to find out if they are going to be a good friend and trustworthy. I need to take things slowly. I need to take care of myself.