Worry Room - Get it out, and walk away: No responses please

I feel so sad. I used to have a sense of belonging, value and purpose. But then a bad thing happened and this super damaged those feelings of belongingness, value and purpose. Then the original bad thing was very badly managed and this completely anhilated any sense of belonging, purpose or value.

I tried. I tried SO HARD to talk it through. I tried again and again and again and again. But I kept hitting a wall. I wish with all my heart that the relationships could be repaired and that steps could be taken to heal the parts of the muddle that are healable. I will never ever ever understand why when something goes awry, people can't simply talk.

What situation am I talking about? That which happened twenty-two years ago at the church, or that which I am living out right now? The fact that one cannot tell from what I have written, is the very reason why my soul is now utterly destroyed.

Don't lose heart @Phoenix_Rising as there are plenty of folk on this forum who have become disillusioned with life's facts and feel as you do. Some things can be changed, others no. What matters most is keeping our integrity and feeling we are of value which we are. You have much to offer in life so don't put yourself down. Keep believing in yourself and much good will follow. Hang in there my friend and believe in yourself. Best wishes - Bimby2

Sending care and compassion @Phoenix_Rising and hoping some clarity comes your way, that sharing here helps to work out the then from the now. That exact quandry has been a challenge for me lately too.

********no response required, thanks everyone*********

I am blessed to have my best friend/brother Andrew in my life. He is much needed, much loved and so precious to me. Even though our meeting in November was random, he is the missing part of me. Our childhoods were traumatic in different ways but sometimes it feels like I am interacting with the mirror image of myself. We talk about anything and everything and we've both verbalised how our internal "walls" are slowly coming down because there's things both of us have never shared with anyone else. We're just there for each other. There's a joint trust in each other. I remember reading a quote the other day that describes how our relationship has evolved, can't remember the exact words but : Destiny chooses who touches your life and your heart chooses who touches your soul. Andrew often tells me he finds it difficult to accept compliments because of his childhood so I try not to bombard him too much by telling him how special he is to me. And I often say I don't want him to feel uncomfortable or make him squirm, but I think he is slowly getting the idea that my love and affection for him is so pure...and he is my best and only brother...I simply adore him.

Yesterday we went for a 90 minute walk along trails in our neighbourhood that I never knew existed, and I have lived in the area for 14 years. These trails and the trees and creek and birds and beauty and serenity are a hop, step and jump from the main roads. Andrew showed me spots where he came to meditate, or run, at night. I asked him if one day we could do a night walk. I feel humble that he trusted me enough to show me his special places. I was amazed and stunned that such beauty existed. I thanked him for sharing with me. He mentioned that doing that walk when the rains comes is spectacular, what with the frogs and birds and rushing water, so that's something for me to look forward to.