Self Pity Party

Is it bad we have self pity days? Like yes I got a mental illness but there are kids staving so do I have the rights to go argh life is not fair?

I'm just having one of those teary weeks. I'm feeling not right. I feel my new medication is working but my mania is coming in hard and is testing my medication and I don't think my medication is going to hold out.

Then I started thinking what if it dosent. I'm going to be sick again and not be able to work or life. Then I started thinking what will people think of me. Then I started thinking well what do people think of bipolar. So now I believe they think I'm purely crazy that's tempomental and you need to walk around egg shells on other wise they will set me off and I'll go into the loony bin. I'm just the nut in the family they discus to others when they discus the crazy person in the family to friends.

And I feel at work they know I'm sick and just think of me as weird. The strange one. I can't communicate or get in the flow with people there.

Literally thinking about quitting my job going on the dole and just become my illness. What's the point of trying to fight it I'm just crazy.