what a horrible day

cant someone help

Hi @MDT, I'm around the forums for the moment and popping in now to say hi 🙂

Are you having a tough day?

yes @Former-Member

i hate my life and i hate everthing about me

i dont wanna call any helplines or anything because they always say the same thing.. i cant tel my mum or sister because my sister graduated today and i dont wanna ruin her day.. i ruin everyone's day.. i cant handle myself anymore.. i really cant..

@MDT- I hear your struggles and they are real. You sound so lost, and it sounds like you feel others don't care, so why should you, right?

I understand sometimes when you talk on here you feel it's pointless. But it's not. If anything, it's an outlet for your hurt and frustrations.

And even though you don't really know people in this forum, there are as real as flesh and blood, and they care. About you, what happens to you, that you feel supported. And I'm definitely one of them. I mean why bother posting you a response if I don't care? Ive got far better things to waste my time on right? But for me, it's not wasting my time. Because everyone deserves to feel ok, everyone deserves to have a decent life. And you have so much potential.

Comparing yourself to others only brings more misery. And how do know others are better than you. They could be in abusive relationships; not all wounds & scars are visible. They could be really high functioning, like I used to be, and put on a really good mask pretending everything is fine when it's absolutely falling apart.

And accepting situations doesn't mean that you like it. I've had suicidal thoughts for over a year now, and I accept this as my coping strategy when everything is too painful to deal with. Do I like it or want it? Hell no. It's cost me my job, friends, my sense of worth. But it's not going away, so I have to find ways to keep safe, and get through times when I want to do something dangerous.

Despite your frustration, I see some good things in your post. You accept things aren't great; you don't like it, but are trying to understand the reason why. You have a couple of good therapists. You know your family cares and loves you very much. And you want more from life.

I think I've said to you before, so forgive if I sound like a broken record. Lower you expectations. Just for a while. Just try to set smaller goals. There is time for everything to come to you.

And today's feelings will pass you by eventually. And we will still be here. Caring for you and about you

Sorry to hear that @MDT

I get the sense that you would like to have some support around this but you're not too sure about contacting a helpline, what about contacting the Sane Help Centre?

Or tagging community members for some support this afternoon?

What do you think you need?

thanks @Sans911 but i dont care about me anymore...

i dont wanna do this bloody exam... why bother whats the point..

im thankful for your help @Sans911 really i am but i cant handle the world

no idea @Former-Member

i just dont care and dont know anymore...

i cant do this god damned exam tomorrow because im gonna fail as i havent studied much for it.. havent found motivation..

i dunno what members are on here so i dunno who to tag..

i didnt eat much breakfast because i cant stomach food... just too depressed and anxious...

im over this.... so over it