MDTSenior Contributor
what a horrible day
can't take this anymore... i need help!
@outlander@Sans911@Former-Member@Shaz51@soul
idk who else to tag..
help me please 😞
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what a horrible day
498 replies
In response to: what a horrible day
MDTSenior Contributor
Re: what a horrible day
yeah @Faith-and-Hope i guess
i hate being alone..
i hate being alone..
In response to: Re: what a horrible day
LoopusContributor
Re: what a horrible day
Whatever makes you think you're alone, Ham! All these people have crowded around you to make sure you can simply get through the next day - a very basic action - as soon as you said you're not ok. You are far from alone, my friend. Relationships take many forms - I, for example, am polyamorous, in a "relationship" with 5 people - but none of it is sexual, its emotional and goes far beyond physical.
As for the meds and therapy and etc not working, I can sympathise. It sucks. But, you're wrong - if they weren't working, you wouldn't be able to see that, and make that opinion, would you 😉
As an old Jedi said - "From a certain point of view". Perspective is everything, it defines our life and makes us what we are. Think about that 😄
As for the meds and therapy and etc not working, I can sympathise. It sucks. But, you're wrong - if they weren't working, you wouldn't be able to see that, and make that opinion, would you 😉
As an old Jedi said - "From a certain point of view". Perspective is everything, it defines our life and makes us what we are. Think about that 😄
In response to: what a horrible day
MDTSenior Contributor
Re: what a horrible day
thanks for dropping in @Loopus
good quote there haha, i think i read that you like star wars?
yeh i have heard of polyamorous.. i think i am tryamorous in that i try and it fails lol. I only had ny first kiss last week. It was nice because we got along well. But idk if there was more to it? I'm finding that since i lost religion (or more likely quit it) i am not as rigid in my thougbt processes over who i am and what i want from life. I think i am still firmly monogamous because i need security. But i think i need to try different things first and foremost. I am a virgin with social anxiety.. so yeh security is actually important for me. I think i will just leave it for now.
My plan for the next two weeks? go to the gym each day for about 30 mins and do weight training. Eat healthy (and enough) and also sleep enough. Just to get my basic system.back in check.
Its hard being alone though amongst everyone else in relationships
good quote there haha, i think i read that you like star wars?
yeh i have heard of polyamorous.. i think i am tryamorous in that i try and it fails lol. I only had ny first kiss last week. It was nice because we got along well. But idk if there was more to it? I'm finding that since i lost religion (or more likely quit it) i am not as rigid in my thougbt processes over who i am and what i want from life. I think i am still firmly monogamous because i need security. But i think i need to try different things first and foremost. I am a virgin with social anxiety.. so yeh security is actually important for me. I think i will just leave it for now.
My plan for the next two weeks? go to the gym each day for about 30 mins and do weight training. Eat healthy (and enough) and also sleep enough. Just to get my basic system.back in check.
Its hard being alone though amongst everyone else in relationships
In response to: Re: what a horrible day
LoopusContributor
Re: what a horrible day
Sounds like a great plan, Ham - physical exercise is always good.
As for the losing your way thing - those of us with BPD are actually proven to be drawn to cults, and religions. And then we often leave them. That feeling of emptiness isnt you, just the BPD shouting a bit louder than usual. I get like that *a lot*. Like, daily, often wondering whats the damn point if I have nothing to aim for. So I give myself something, and set out a reward. Or, at least, I try to. It's hard, and a bit of a sticking point with me 😕
Sometimes, getting out of bed is something worth celebrating.
And yes, I love star wars 😄 Have a small tattoo of a TIE and XWing, with the death star 😛
As for the losing your way thing - those of us with BPD are actually proven to be drawn to cults, and religions. And then we often leave them. That feeling of emptiness isnt you, just the BPD shouting a bit louder than usual. I get like that *a lot*. Like, daily, often wondering whats the damn point if I have nothing to aim for. So I give myself something, and set out a reward. Or, at least, I try to. It's hard, and a bit of a sticking point with me 😕
Sometimes, getting out of bed is something worth celebrating.
And yes, I love star wars 😄 Have a small tattoo of a TIE and XWing, with the death star 😛
In response to: what a horrible day
MDTSenior Contributor
Re: what a horrible day
haha i bet you are looking forward to the new film then ? @Loopus
i dont have BPD but i was very anxious and depressed growing up which is why i got involved i think. The way i get meaning in my life now is to always look at what i have in life compared to 90% of the rest of earth. Losing and quiting religion was the best thing i did. Plus they have a very ill way of looking at MH.
I went off to the gym today which was good. Hadnt been for a week due to being sick. Feel a bit better. Diet sleep and exercise are the three core things i am focusing on now.
i dont have BPD but i was very anxious and depressed growing up which is why i got involved i think. The way i get meaning in my life now is to always look at what i have in life compared to 90% of the rest of earth. Losing and quiting religion was the best thing i did. Plus they have a very ill way of looking at MH.
I went off to the gym today which was good. Hadnt been for a week due to being sick. Feel a bit better. Diet sleep and exercise are the three core things i am focusing on now.
In response to: what a horrible day
MDTSenior Contributor
Re: what a horrible day
didnt get the role
@outlander @Loopus @Former-Member @Appleblossom @Faith-and-Hope
bit stuck on what to do..
@outlander @Loopus @Former-Member @Appleblossom @Faith-and-Hope
bit stuck on what to do..
In response to: Re: what a horrible day
AppleblossomSenior Contributor
Re: what a horrible day
Cool posts @Loopus
Yeah Ham! I hope you dont mind that as a nick name ... say so if you do .. I am flexible ..
my son has not gotten every role he has gone for ... but
On the other hand .. I keep expectations low ... for myself ... that way I get a better success rate.
Its hilarious in a weird way. Last night I actually got chatted up at the beach by a nice looking fit sensitive guy ... I had stopped there to eat my home cooked packed in plastic lunchbox mushies for dinner and escape some heat .. First time in 30 years I have been chatted up ... are you seeing the different sense of time scale we have ...
Sorry to be boring .. but patience really does need a little air time in this sad sad mad mad fast fast world.
Hey @LoopusI might try some of that polyamory thing .... never thought about LOVE that way ... I tended to think about in more traditional conservative philosophical and theological models.
not sure I will ever do the icky irl thing again ... been there done that ...
Apple has new things to research ... and got my first singing solo last night as I was just about to expire from boredom. The conductor caught me as I was escaping thinking I cannot travel for 2 hours to have my time wasted. Even I am worth that much self respect .. and heyo ... I told him I was flattered and would also be terrified ... its only little and part of a Quintet.
@MDTBroadening your options and approaches often helps.
I think you are cool too. Loosen up on your expectations of self, life and others ....but do your best ... and then more cool stuff might happen .. but then .. my life has SUKKED for a long time too.
Of course I first bonded with my son re movies in a Sarah Connors identification ...
wrong series.. I know .. but you probably get more of where we are at .. by that pop kulcha reference.
I am not ALL CLASSICAL and INTELLECTUAL. I probably make Sarah Connors look nice and normal.
I am also glad others put their million cents in ... the more the merrier ... up to a point.
Take Care of you @MDT
@Loopus seems to have a bit sorted .. I suspect he is a bit greyer than you. Just a hunch
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In response to: what a horrible day
MDTSenior Contributor
Re: what a horrible day
@outlander @Faith-and-Hope @Loopus @Evangeline @Sans911 @soul
i feel really crap today.. idk what im gonna do
i feel really crap today.. idk what im gonna do
In response to: what a horrible day
outlanderSenior Contributor
Re: what a horrible day
Do somwthing you like to do @MDT it could be anything. Sometimes just getting up and out of the 4 walls is helpful
In response to: what a horrible day
MDTSenior Contributor
Re: what a horrible day
going to see my sister graduate high school @outlander
should study for my exam tomorrow but i dont think i would.. too depressed.. i will do some on the train on the way in..
i cant handle reality.. i never have.. i dont wanna go overseas and work.. i dunno what i want.. i cant handle my own mind and i feel like ending it today.. i cant get anywhere in life because i dont have experience etc.. what thd fuck have i done with my life.. 24 and nothing to show for it.. cant handle this.. i talked myself out of the job.. i always do.. must of inheritted it because my dad does it too..
i dont wanna go to hispital because they tell me im fine AND IM NOT
should study for my exam tomorrow but i dont think i would.. too depressed.. i will do some on the train on the way in..
i cant handle reality.. i never have.. i dont wanna go overseas and work.. i dunno what i want.. i cant handle my own mind and i feel like ending it today.. i cant get anywhere in life because i dont have experience etc.. what thd fuck have i done with my life.. 24 and nothing to show for it.. cant handle this.. i talked myself out of the job.. i always do.. must of inheritted it because my dad does it too..
i dont wanna go to hispital because they tell me im fine AND IM NOT
