I dont know how much longer i can go on like this

Hi @outlander

I am okay today - I didn't go out yesterday - I wasn't in any shape to - I forgot my slow release pain-killer the previous night - I had written it in my notebook but when I counted the tablets in my blister pack there was one extra - this is not a good idea at all - I don't know how I came to write it down but not take it -

So it took all day for the prn tablets to work - and most of the day I just sat in my chair with the hot back and dozed - so I wasn't up to posting anything useful - aw - it could have been worse

Congrats on getting your full licence - I didn't realised you had to do another test to get that -

I would like to get my licence back again - I have to go through my pain specialist and I will be seeing her again in a few weeks - she has an idea I am not able to cope with the traffic - personally I think my knee and my shoulders are more of a problem but let's see what happens - my specialist deals with elderly people some of whom are not in touch with how fast the traffic moves - I think I know - ahhhhhhhh

When you say you are doing "silly things" - I hope that means you are just making mistakes because that's okay - we all do - I know you are living on the edge right now and how near the end of the tether are you really? Only you know that and we all care - you have so many people caring - and you deserve all of it. I have never seen anyone battle as hard as you do - really tough - yes - I know

And you are the only one who can get yourself out of your puddle - which is more like an ocean I think - when you can stand up to your mother you will be half-way there - that's where you need the help - how do you learn to do that?

Ah yes - I do know - I stood up to mine and she took it out on me - like the whole world suffered because I lived my life according to my choices, But at the end - I know as hard as it was it was worth it

I think it will take time but you will get there too - you have a lot happening atm - and you can you do what you can when you can

I may not come in every day - but I am not going away either

Dec

@outlanderthat's ok sis, totally understand, feel a bit that way too.

Just look after yourself

@outlanderhope it goes well sis

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@outlander wrote:


Silly things are intentional but won't go into anything else.

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Hi @outlander, I am really interested in your choice of language here because I find it intensely offensive when someone describes some things that I do as "silly." Just to clarify, I am absolutely definitely not at all offended that you choose to use this term to describe your own actions. I just find it interesting because I know how much I hate it when people use that term to describe my actions. I'm super curious about in what way you consider your actions to be "silly." Please feel free to entirely ignore this post if you want to.

I super hope the day improves for you.

Ultrasound went well. Thats a start.

@CheerBearthank you for stopping in

I hope that high level is only stress, I know youve been going through a lot right now too and im sorry I feel like im negelecting you (think I already know the response to that!) howver I do still care about you and I often think about you but housing and things im really not that familiar with and cant offer any advice but know that you have my support and if you need me just to tag me.

Day 10?

it is hard CB, unfortunalty that one little mistake has now set me back because I dont think ill be getting rechecked on tuesday-was wednesday.

I hope everything turns out of for you too.