I dont know how much longer i can go on like this

@Sans911 your post was completely ok - not invalidating at all.

@outlander I am going to completely dispute your last statement - you have not been 'like this' for a day or so - infact there have been several times today when you have been very considered and articulate - so what is the difference? The difference is that you are not taking a step back for a moment, tryimg to take your emotions out of it and posting with a clearer head. You are also reverting directly back to the negative and the language you are using is again feeding back into your own negativity. I am sorry if that sounds harsh but you have asked for 'our' help and I need to be honest with you.

Zoe

@outlander that is exactly the kind of positive thinking that will help you out in these situations rather than the previous reactionary one - well done you - see Outlander - you really are making positive steps forward

@outlander :

You have tried the Zoe Method - and some others - so maybe now it is time to make it even simpler for you. Put very simply - when you are confronted with a 'situation' do you REACT or ACT.

Reacting is when you let your emotions take over and you DO before you think.

Acting is when you take that step back, think outside the situation and then determine the course of action when you have collected, analysed, filtered all the information you have.

To clarify @outlander the post you didn't 'get' was in response to you saying you you were' having trouble interpreting things ....and working out your own thoughts' - both very mature and valid statements. You recognise where you are struggling and were taking positive steps (as in working out your own thoughts) to find a solution - that is growth Outlander

ok ill use that very simple method for now @Zoe7 its simple enough to remember. thank you for explaining the last post and thanks

@Sans911sorry for reacting, instead of thinking properly. i have to learn to not do that well actually more like reinforce that, a skill ive let slip through the cracks. i would rather look forward too, if i kept looking back its just going to cause more damage. its also the here and now im having problems with and trying to work out what the next steps could be or what the best option is.

look at it this way @outlander - if we cam across an accident our first instincts are to run and find out if everyone is okay but that can put ourselves in danger - so what we do is look around first, make sure it is safe and then see how everyone is. It is the same with conversation or potential volatile situations - you first 'gauge' the atmosphere, weigh up your options, thoughts, responses and act (speak, write) after you have settled a little more in yourself - so instead off Reacting when it may not be safe to do do - you Act when you know it is (if that makes sense!) You are doing well by the way Outlander - keep it up