outlanderSenior Contributor
I dont know how much longer i can go on like this
I dont know how much longer i can keep going on like this anymore. I feel completely defeated right about now
FORUMS
Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.
- 47,612Members
- 1,358,869Posts
- 1,400,000Visitors
I dont know how much longer i can go on like this
5227 replies
In response to: I dont know how much longer i can go on like this
outlanderSenior Contributor
Re: I dont know how much longer i can go on like this
i know that @Former-Member but i dont want the convos you have getting all mixed up with my troubles makes it hard to follow....
anyway. theres one emotions im really confused on as i dont ever have it. its well its not jealousy i dont think.. its hard to explain
im working on mums horse atm with the way i work and have been working hard on her to get her where she is now and safe enough to ride at least for an experienced rider. now my sister wasnts to ride her and ive got strange emotions coming up. apart of its- my works about to become undone becasue a horse only has to say boo and she lets them get away with it, the other is a safety thing and worrying that the horse will act up. then the other is i want to ride but i cant, theres both fear and pain holding me back and im worried my sisters going to show me up as she has the habit of ' i can do anything i want and i can do it better than anyone else' then if i have troubles with the horse the next time then she pulls the stunt of oh i rode her its not that hard blah blah blah
In response to: I dont know how much longer i can go on like this
Sans911Senior Contributor
Re: I dont know how much longer i can go on like this
@outlander @Former-Member hello lovelies, I'm back home, so phone is on charge, WiFi on, and waiting on house inspection. Can't go to get my meds or shopping until they've been. Free to chat while I do things at home. But I'm going to rest up for an hour. Session with counsellor this morning was tough as was last night.
@outlander you can't catch a break with your mother, can you? Even when she doesn't live with you, she doesn't even acknowledge what an amazing person you are, and hard you work. I really feel for you; that must be so, so hard. I'm sorry you're so stressed.
@Former-Member - are things feeling any different today? I know what you are having to come to terms with is so damn difficult. It never seems to feel easier for me. If I had a crystal ball, it might feel better. It's not fair sometimes that we have so little control over our past or future.
I wish I could share a video of my cat. He's having a 'energiser' moment! I swear he doesn't know his tail is part of him. Sometimes his antics is the only bright thing in my day.
@outlander you can't catch a break with your mother, can you? Even when she doesn't live with you, she doesn't even acknowledge what an amazing person you are, and hard you work. I really feel for you; that must be so, so hard. I'm sorry you're so stressed.
@Former-Member - are things feeling any different today? I know what you are having to come to terms with is so damn difficult. It never seems to feel easier for me. If I had a crystal ball, it might feel better. It's not fair sometimes that we have so little control over our past or future.
I wish I could share a video of my cat. He's having a 'energiser' moment! I swear he doesn't know his tail is part of him. Sometimes his antics is the only bright thing in my day.
In response to: Re: I dont know how much longer i can go on like this
Unknown userMember
Re: I dont know how much longer i can go on like this
@outlanderI get it hun. It's not that you are jealous of her, but it is that you want something that she has that you havent got (if that makes sense). There are a lot of things that you can do that your sisiter cannot. We are all good at different things and I am sure it is the same was with you.
I look at some of my teacher friends and feel so frustrated thinking that they are doing what I want to do, and I cannot do it. I wouldn't call it jealous, maybe envy?
@Sans911things are different but not in a good way. Now I just feel guilt and shame from my antics on Sat night/Sun morning. I am sure you can guess what happened. I will speak to me psych soon on phone, have to see my pdoc tomorrow and see psych on Wednesday.
Haha I would love to see your cat. Does he get dizzy?
In response to: Re: I dont know how much longer i can go on like this
outlanderSenior Contributor
Re: I dont know how much longer i can go on like this
@Sans911
no I cant catch a break and now ive just got even more pressure on me. Its too much. Way to much im seriosuly not copng with all this. Now pops ranting on and on and on and on and I cant handle it and then my uncle could be moving in and I have no room for anything and now its my responsibility to get everything sorted out and im stressed and jeezus!!!!!
and no I cant catch a break with my mother, constant arguments, constant stressing over her. I will never ever be good enough, ever. I will never ever enough to anyone.
@Former-Member
I dont know what it is. She has her own friggin horse. Why cant she ride her. As if she doesnt have enough. The sun shines out of her backside. i can get on and ride but i cant at the same time.
In response to: I dont know how much longer i can go on like this
Sans911Senior Contributor
Re: I dont know how much longer i can go on like this
@Former-Member - you are doing the best you can right now hun, and sometimes that means we make choices which aren't necessarily wrong or right, but more about what to do in those moments when everything is just too hard. I understand the guilt and shame all too well. You should have been in my counselling session this morning! I was talking about exactly the same things ! I HATE what I have become this last few years, particularly this year. I feel so ashamed of who I am, and what I've become, and been reduced to almost nothing. How do you come back from those losses? I don't know.
@outlander - ditto what Nell said my angel. You are special in your own ways, but I understand those feelings too of trying to always measure to others. Feelings of never being enough; someone always better than you, smarter, funnier, prettier, whatever. It's difficult to just accept ourselves as ourselves.
@outlander - ditto what Nell said my angel. You are special in your own ways, but I understand those feelings too of trying to always measure to others. Feelings of never being enough; someone always better than you, smarter, funnier, prettier, whatever. It's difficult to just accept ourselves as ourselves.
In response to: Re: I dont know how much longer i can go on like this
outlanderSenior Contributor
Re: I dont know how much longer i can go on like this
@Sans911will you walk me through a breathing exercise
i cant gt my shit together. its all crumpling so badly and now mums at me and pops ranting at me and i cant handle it
i cant
In response to: I dont know how much longer i can go on like this
Sans911Senior Contributor
Re: I dont know how much longer i can go on like this
@outlander sure hun. First of all, get a drink of water, then take yourself somewhere private. Even the loo if you have to!
In response to: Re: I dont know how much longer i can go on like this
Unknown userMember
Re: I dont know how much longer i can go on like this
@Sans911ohh I think you have come through my screen and read my mind 
@outlanderSans is right too, we are all special in our own way.
In response to: Re: I dont know how much longer i can go on like this
outlanderSenior Contributor
Re: I dont know how much longer i can go on like this
im in the kitchen and pops sitting in front of mei dont want to be mean
i literally jsut want to get out and away and i cant
In response to: I dont know how much longer i can go on like this
outlanderSenior Contributor
Re: I dont know how much longer i can go on like this
Ok im in my room
