I dont know how much longer i can go on like this

yeah @Former-Member kinda like the emotions swirling around and i know they wont go until i address them. it doesnt matter how many comedies i watch they will sit there until i address them.

ive watched so many comedies ive made myself feel sick but it hasnt solved the ones swirling beneath the surface

sory @Former-Member you also asked how work was somewhere along the lines earlier today.

i went to work twice. my busy week is nearly over that is until next week when i move my horses

2 days before xmas 😞 i am dreading it so badly but i also dont want to put up with the other place either. at least ill know if my horses have an injury as i do all the paddock checks etc so will be the first to know everything.

its been hot. ive only not long got back. ive been going early before the sun gets hot and late in the arvo when the sun goes down

Sorry @outlander I must have missed your message from earlier. I am a bit spaced out atm.

Try and maybe have a nice calming night. Shower, bed, some nice music on, something nice and relaxing for you.

I know you are dreading moving them but it might be for the best. At least you can keep a better eye on them.

You have done a lot today sis, take some time out for yourself tonight

thats ok sis @Former-Member im abit all over the place too.

tired but very much awake will be heading in for a shower soon. my pain and headaches are starting to come back more so am trying to get handle on it before it gets worse.

@Sans911

@outlandermy mind is so unclear. I know why but I don't really care. If it gives me sleep without the nightmares then so be it.

A shower sounds nice hun, make a nice drink and snuggle into bed

Hi @Sans911

Don't be sorry hun, cannot help you phone being recharged.

Can you get some pain meds for your head and hands.

It helped getting it out Sans. I didn't want to dump it on you but I knew you would understand from how you have spoken about your work before. Been a bit out of it today so think that has kept my emotions at bay. Have taken more meds so they will hit me very soon and am hoping the make me forget everything for the night.

no need to apologise @Sans911 i havent really been around either. i dont really know where ive been besides work. must be the day for it heyive just got alot of stressors happening atm and its stirring up the mud down the bottom which i wasnt prepared for. its brought it all back up. im seriously over it. it bringing up the school emotions from bullying, and current situations, friendship and relationships issues, wanting to go back to study, the works. i feel like hitting a wall, hand or head whatever will work best. if its not one thing its another and i have to stay relatively calm before i loose it and make the pain flare up it seems its only just coming good and the tension iv got building atm isnt helping, nor is being up nearly 3 days straight

im currently writing up a finance thing but my brain isnt working mathmatically when usually it wouldnt be a problem. sometimes i need something to do, something to work on strategically or something makes me think. not today. i cant even get the damn calcuator to work. so away it goes i had a shower, didnt help much. back to looking at winter wonder land pics. its frustrating me casue the skill is way higher than ive ever attempted before and i dont know if ill be able to pull it off yet. think mightve had my hopes set to high for it.

anyway... hopefully that pain settles for you @Sans911 nothing worse than everything being aggrivated. did you manage to read some of your book today?

@Former-Memberim glad you got some of that off your chest, i had a funny feeling after you said reality hit it had soemthing to do with either work, or family. i hate reality realisations. they suck big time. well done on holding up today th best you can

sorry no need to pay attention to that post