Night Shift

Hi @eth, @Mazarita. I just wanted to say hi and that I'm not choosing to add much but hanging here in the background, nothing is wrong just in a listening mood💜😊

@Mazarita It took me a few years with J to realise the degree to which I was conditioned to be hoping for and even expecting 'the next step' ...I really agree with you about cultural constructions. It's other friends who tell me I should have more, I'm missing something etc but the last time I tried for more I was hurt really badly (physically too) so the truth is I am glad to have my own home and not have to negotiate my every move with someone else. There are advantages others don't see.

Hi @Former-Member How are you tonight?

I'm ok @eth, just chilling😊 I concur with what you are both saying re relationships. I just know like you @eth I've lost too much before from them both financially and emotionally.

@eth, despite what I've said about my relationship with partner being mostly based on friendship, we are essentially committed as life companions for the long haul. You situation sounds a bit different with your mate, as there may not be the commitment there. As you've indicated at other times, if something 'more' arrives at some point, you may decide to make different choices at that time. For now, it sounds like you have it worked out well. 🙂

Hi @Former-Member, good to see your face, so to speak. 🙂

Thanks @Mazarita, back at you💜😊

@Mazarita I still hope one day to have a life companion who I have commitment with but the truth is I have trust issues too. And I wouldn't make the decision to part with J easily these days. I did it once before (the relationship I mentioned) and just the way we came back together and still are after another nearly 7 years means we do have a type of committment, just unconventional.

Last time I broke with him I was swept off my feet by someone who turned out to be a violent narcissist so I wouldn't even trust myself to trust that sort of love at this stage. The one thing I do have is trust with J.

Please don't let me jumping in destroy your conversation @Mazaritaand @eth. I actually thought about saying hi because i didn't want to intrude but then I hated reading in the background, it's fallout from my ex, need to be visible if that makes sense and I really didn't want to take over💜😊

oops as as always jumped too early😳

@Former-Member as far as I'm concerned you're welcome to 'jump in' at any time. I know from your past posts that some of what I've shared might be pushing buttons so I apologize if that's the case.

@eth, that's great. Yes, I can see how you do have a kind of commitment, even if in some ways it isn't stated or conventional. Trust is so crucial so it's wonderful that you have that with him. Friendship of that duration, and intimacy, means there must also be so much love, regardless of what form that love takes in its relationship shape.

@Former-Member, no worries at all about you jumping in. 🙂 Happy to have your company too.

No you aren't at all @eth. I meant that because I'm so aware of voyerism I hate the idea of watching from afar. I know I didn't do any of his stuff but I struggle with any thought of this which is why sometimes I get freaked out on here not knowing who reads our posts, my quirky issue. I'm really glad you've found someone you trust, both of you.💜😊 I'm not sure how I will ever do that again and I'm also so naive I'm sure it's going to be disastrous if it ever happens again. It also helps to be a tad more stable than I am too😳