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Night Shift

MazaritaSenior Contributor23 Sept 2015, 4:13 am AEST

Night Shift

Since I am awake at 4am I thought I'd start this thread for those of us who have trouble sleeping and might find it helpful to have a place to go to chat. Whatever gets you through the night is alright.

To get the ball rolling, I'll just say that I enjoyed being part of the Topic Tuesday discussion tonight. I wish it was possible for these events to be weekly rather than monthly. Either way, thanks SANE and all the people I've met on here over recent months.

Edited June 2016 and February 2017: Night Shift is now open 24 hours a day. To join in, just click through to the last page of the thread at the top right of this post to get to the latest message.

Edited April 2017 and June 2017: For the sake of better communications between members here, I am adding that this thread is meant to be a caring, kind and gentle place of sharing. Humour is welcome, as long as its not unkindly directed towards other members. Hope your time in this chat thread is rewarding.

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In response to: Night Shift

ethSenior Contributor03 July 2016, 12:35 am AEST

Re: Night Shift

@Former-Member I'm going to bed now, thanks for asking.

Night all.

In response to: Night Shift

Unknown userMember03 July 2016, 12:37 am AEST

Re: Night Shift

@Appleblossom. I have a friend in a similar position to you. I don't know her well but I know some her life parallels what you have just described. It's a difficult life but you always keep surprising me in the best way with your resilience to all life throws at you.

In response to: Re: Night Shift

Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor03 July 2016, 12:37 am AEST

Re: Night Shift

Goodnight @eth

Sleep well

💜

In response to: Re: Night Shift

MazaritaSenior Contributor03 July 2016, 12:41 am AEST

Re: Night Shift

@Faith-and-Hope, so glad you get something of value from being here, the feeling is very mutual. I haven't heard of 'The Age of Adaline' but I just had a peek on Wikipedia and the plot looks interesting. I like fantasy plotlines in movies, still a bit of a kid like that. Hope you enjoy.

@Former-Member, I seem to keep wandering off into movie land but am still here for serious subjects if you want to talk more about the post you drafted.

In response to: Night Shift

Unknown userMember03 July 2016, 12:42 am AEST

Re: Night Shift

😔 @Faith-and-Hope. It takes incredible strength to stay through all this. I told you a long time ago that there were threads similar with my ex which sounds mortifying to put them remotely in the same category. Here's my Ace of spades (maybe even hearts). After first kicking my ex out I took him back as I researched to find out and understand the MI behind his actions. I had compassion and believed that we could work through this together. I found the best counsellor who specialised in this for him and he saw him and so did I sometimes and sometimes as a couple. I guess I understand the part of trying everything to get through it. That's where the similarities end. I didn't have the strength or skills to do this. By taking him back I alienated everyone I cared about too and had to isolate myself for my own protection. I wore so much shame. The eventual internal conflict in me destroyed me eventually as did other things. He was also treated as a pedophile to begin with as families locked there kids away from him (and ultimately us) which was really difficult for the kids and I. I had checked with my kids very early on to make sure nothing like that had happened which it hadn't.

In response to: Re: Night Shift

MazaritaSenior Contributor03 July 2016, 12:57 am AEST

Re: Night Shift

@Former-Member, you are so brave to be honest about what you have been through. I understand it in a small part because my father was physically violent with both my mother and I. Mum took him back over and over again, partly because I loved him so much as a child regardless, and missed him so terribly and painfully when he was absent (which he was for big chunks of time many times over). But she also loved him enormously too and had great compassion for him, he was a very tortured soul with many other wonderful characteristics. Your experiences were so much more terribly wrenching and confusing than I am describing. I can only say thank you for being so honest and it helps me understand so much better the trauma you have experienced that has brought you here to us now. I stand by you in support and compassion.

In response to: Night Shift

Unknown userMember03 July 2016, 12:59 am AEST

Re: Night Shift

Thanks so much @Mazarita. That was the most intense wait I've had for a response yet. 😊💜

In response to: Re: Night Shift

Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor03 July 2016, 1:00 am AEST

Re: Night Shift

@Former-Member

I knew from how much you had shared already that your back-story was huge ... and you were blind-sided by it ... so there are similarities there too ....

I want to tread gently with what I say next .... because I think it touches on what you have been through and are recovering from ... and this gives me hope thawe can survive it too if life deals us this blow ....

I might not still be here, trying to work through this, except for another reason too. In his altered state of mind there is every chance my husband would do a "slash and burn" of our lives .... that's all of us ... in terms of our lifestyle (which is not the critical thing) but also our finances, relationships and education / future directions for the kids ... it hurts so badly to think about taking that on, then finding him treated and recovered, while we stand in the ruin of what our life was .... that would mean that even in the healing of it, this illness would have destroyed everything in its path, except, I hope, the strength to find new seedlings amongst the ashes, and grow something else with time.

it all takes incredible strength @Former-Member, and you have that .... we are Phoenixes, amongst other Phoenixes .... I believe most if not all the people on here are powerful in that way .... just to get up and go at it again.

So proud of you, and your boys, that they see things with their hearts and deal in empathy. You have achieved something powerful, right there ❣

In response to: Re: Night Shift

MazaritaSenior Contributor03 July 2016, 1:01 am AEST

Re: Night Shift

It was a big post to respond to, @Former-Member. I hope you feel relieved to have made the post, if not quite yet, when you've had time to process it.

In response to: Night Shift

Unknown userMember03 July 2016, 1:06 am AEST

Re: Night Shift

I guess I wanted to add that I didn't take him back on my own. I put it to the kids at the time. They chose to support him although it was probably an unfair choice at 16, 15, 14 and 11. They had also lost their dad and I guess wanted a family.

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