Night Shift

@Tyler77, have you thought any more about handing over the meds to someone else to give to you daily? After what you've been through, it seems like that could be a good idea. I think you said your parents live close by and that it would not be difficult. Maybe, in a weird way, the delay on getting them could even be a bit of a blessing, giving you a chance to think a bit more about this. Sorry if I'm sounding presumptuous in saying this. It's your choice of course. Just trying to remind you of where your head's been at about it at other times. Like I said, support is here for you whatever you decide.

@Former-Member, non-Star Trek, I also loved Toni Collette in United States of Tara too.

Thanks @Mazarita

Yea, I'm totally torn on the issue at hand.

On the one hand, If i don't get the meds, I will have already 22-28 days clean and so I won't be going through withdrawal. It's 22 days today and I am starting to feel like my old self again. But it took this long. Do I really want to give up all that time, to start using again and then potentially having to quit again...it'll be just another 21 days of hell... So i totally get what your saying. But the symptoms of ADHD are coming back full swing. Impulsive, inattentive and hyperactive. I definitly could live without the medication, but my quality of life might not be as good as it could be if I chose medication to help.

In any case, if I do get the medication, my parents will be in charge of it and will dole out the pills for the next day the evening before. (I live only about 15-20 minute walk away)

ah @eth... so a way of saying that they are filled with feelings that may be contradictory ... are they ever able to distinguish and name contradictory impulses or feelings?

I understand it puts you in a very delicate position ... to support her choices ... maybe @Mazarita response is better than mine.

in my daughter's relationship they are each taking turn as mum ... and she describes herself as a 'mum of twins' though she didnt give birth to them ... her partner did.

Gender dysphoria is still an issue for me ... still after giving birth twice ... I think about it one way or another at least a couple of times per day ... but it is not painful for me anymore ... I am a bit bolshie with it now ... where I was painful awkward before being a mum ... its more that I am just not mainstream ... and I think that is in all ways not just gender related.. and also I met trannies when I was 17-20 at my uncles, in my local area (St Kilda) and at work and they seemed to have a tougher time than me ... so was never something I aspired toward.

I hope you can get good input on the issue ... sorry my face is screwed up as I write and I feel it is a violence against the self to have unnecessary surgery and feel for your daughter to think that she wants to do it ... but lots of women do it to augment their sexual traits ... gender is so complicated. I did things to my self but it was to the head and to the body and was more total about frustration in communicating important things to my significant others (husband and mother) and being human than being one sex or the other.

the psychiatrist maybe did not know what else to say ... most parents say ... its the thing you never stop ... feeling for your offspring ... toddler, teen, adult

@Mazarita we like star trek too ... but not sure if son will approve the movie ... I am joining a movie club so I will get to see more grown up ones ... kind of looking forward to that club .. it was good when I went last month.

@Faith-and-Hope, sounds like you have educated yourself thoroughly about your husband's condition, which shows such foresight and commitment. For the sake of you and your family, I truly hope this stage of your husband's condition is not too drawn out and that he starts to see that he needs some help to deal with the extreme patterns you have described in his life. In the meantime, sending more hugs your way. I admire your love, strength and dedication to your family.

@Tyler77, I think it's great that you are going to try this ritual of walking to your parents to get the meds. It sounds like you might need them for the ADHD but in a regular, measured dose. I get it though that you might like to just be free of them altogether. It's a tough call but sounds like you are taking good steps either way.

That's the bottom line @Appleblossom - we never stop feeling for them. Thanks for your reply. I'm too tired now to respond sensibly, sorry.

Goodnight all.

@Appleblossom, I'm not sure I will approve the movie either but it will be some kind of Star Trek fix so I'll be there anyway.

Goodnight @eth, hope you get an uninterrupted sleep and feel refreshed in the morning. Great to talk again tonight.

Thanks so much @Former-Member @eth and @Mazarita

I was advised by support services to learn as much as I can about the condition, and I can see why .... baby dragons have nothin' on this guy .... but as well as fighting to survive with a lost and caged big dragon, it's really sad to see him like this - lost and caged - but that is the way he will stay until realisation dawns, and treatment is sought and accepted .... a pattern in different forms that I think a lot if you are familiar with ...

You give me inspiration and strength to keep going more than you know ....

@Mazarita we are watching "Age of Adeline". Have you heard of it ?