Night Shift

@eth, I feel for you very much with this. It would give rise to such ambivalent feelings if it was me in your position. On the one hand the desire to be as supportive as possible of my child's choices. On the other, the obvious concern about surgery like that being part of it. Have you been able to talk to your psychologist or psychiatrist about it. Are they at all helpful? It seems that counselling of some kind specifically surrounding this issue could be helpful to processing all the mixed emotions that may be part of it.

Thanks @Mazarita The psychiatrist asked me why I had fears for my adult child but didn't really give any advice and with the psychologist it has only come up at the very end of the second session. I will try to get more discussion about it with her when I see her next. For some reason even though the subject really stirs me up I find it hard to put my thoughts and feelings into words. Not like me!!!

I didn't answer you before - I already forgot the name of the other movie - might have been Frequency. It's an older film about a radio link between a cop son in the now and his father 30 years ago and how they stop a serial killer.

@Former-Member I realised that I didnt expect quick responses in general and that others did .. and concerned with some of my time lags ... I live in my own little time bubble ... not really writing it to you ... but thanks for your reply.

@eth I had a strong feeling response to your disclosure about the possible surgery ... and we had all those chats ago about gender issues and I identify as a bit blokey ... I felt shock and a lot of sadness for her and for you ... will it really help her to go through that?

Can you explain a bit what your kids mean by ... many feels

Hey @Mazarita Yeah, its the "trouble" med i've been talking about in other posts. I'm nearly positive that they'll approve it, just a matter of waiting out this long weekend and part of the week.

Hi @Appleblossom Many feels = lots of feelings (I think). I can't say if it will really help them (her) but clearly they (she) believes it will. They say they'd rather be mistaken for male than female and they seem to believe they will have a lot less body dysphoria that way. I just don't know. It seems like choosing such a hard and painful path.

@eth,

From what you've said earlier it sounds like the psychologist might be the better possibility for counselling about your adult child. I'm not surprised you find it hard to put your thoughts and feelings into words. For me it would create inner conflict that I would find hard to admit to in some ways (I have that in other areas of my life that I don't even speak about on the forum). Your child's decision is such a delicate subject to talk about. I hesitate to say much because of how sensitive it might be for you. Feel free to talk more about it if you want though. I leave it up to you.

On the other subject, the other movie you mention sounds pretty ordinary. Serial killers are way overdone in the movies these days, I think. The only movie I'm looking forward to seeing in the cinemas for my birthday later this month is... you guessed it... the Star Trek movie.

@Mazarita

The further my husband has progressed with this e.d. the more of the warmth and engagement of his personality we have lost .... his analytical mind is still stable, but he loses rationality, so driven by his daily diet and workout regimen .... like an addiction .... and the relationships just can't compete.

It's more that we know who he is underneath, that keeps us going, and the belief that we can get him back.

While the e.d. needs treatment, it is the underlyering emotional issues that need treatment just as much. The e.d. behaviours haven't come out of nowhere .... they are the outward symptoms of an mi.

We do get soft moments sometimes, and humour, but not the warmth .... not for some time now.

This is still the first stage though, and apparently the longest. The denial and hostility gradually give way to glimmers of understanding that all is not well within. Holding out for that ....

Mostly we have just been co-existing, sharing a lifestyle around the regimen, but like this morning, every now and then he "loses it".