Night Shift

@Appleblossom I grew up in a cloud of smoke from my parent's habits, which I always hated. I remember I found ashtrays so disgusting I would avoid even touching them when I was a kid. But it was a totally different era then. Mum, who was and still is a chain smoker, took me regularly on the smoking carriages of suburban trains. The whole thing would be filled up with smoke from everyone puffing away as we all went on our trip into town or wherever. I was always miserable in there. Mum says she was so shocked when I took up smoking after my marriage ended. And yet I think I probably fit the statistics on likelihood of children smoking if parents did. On your other point, capitalism and the tobacco industry makes me angry too. By the way, I don't find rudeness in you just 'fading out' from the forum sometimes. We all do the same don't we? The forum has to take a backseat to what is happening in our 'real lives', otherwise we are probably going too far with it I think.

@Former-Member I've lost contact with many people in my life too. But today I restarted it with a woman I was last friends with about 3 years ago. Back then the friendship had developed over some months and then I became more severely depressed than usual and just stopped being able to pick up the phone to contact her. I've felt bad all this time about just dropping her like that but too embarrassed about what happened to contact her again. Today I wrote to her on Facebook to apologise. Lucky for me she has bipolar, understands the ups and downs and sometimes stupid behaviours, and is forgiving. We will get together to catch up soon.

@Former-Member It has been quite a day. Part of it was also doing a 'core values' exercise that @MoonGal kindly posted on another discussion (link to exercise here). It was coming up with four key values, one of which was 'maximise love', that also prompted me to contact the friend I'd been out of touch with. If I believe in maximising love, I thought I'd better do something about this unloving thing I did to my friend. Yes, yay for this aspect of Facebook, though I don't engage much with any social media now aside from this forum.

Yes I am so glad that smokey interiors are a thing of the past. It highlights a big point for me about the illusory concept of "normality". Smokers were everywhere and it seemed normal.

It is great to reconnect with old friends @Mazarita.

How are you @Former-Member? I just a thread about someone having a water fight with their kids in the bath ... do you have a bath where you are staying?

@Former-Member How cute, your bathtime. Who needs showers when you've got kids to splash you.

First solo meeting here with the peer mentor tomorrow. I'm thinking positive but nervous about it too. It's more intimate having someone come to your home and I have a feeling we'll be seeing each other at least weekly. Also have a psychologist appointment tomorrow, after getting the times mixed up last week and just not turning up at the time I was supposed to. I hate doing that. I am now below my smoking target for the week so that's some good news to give him. But a lot of counselling in one day for me tomorrow! I'm also having slow withdrawals from smoking. This is all keeping me awake.

I don't know what to think about you returning to work either. I remember earlier in the year you were going through the same question. It makes sense what you say financially of course and also the social help it will bring. Is it to be full-time or part-time? Any chance of easing yourself slowly back into it over a bit of time?

Are you up for a little chat @Mazarita? How did your appointments go?

I would like to but broadband has gone down and mobile is weak signal for posting. Big day for me it was. Okay overall and productive. I will say goodnight though cos of connection issues. Sleep well when you get there.

If you're still awake, @Appleblossom, I'm still up and broadband is back online...

Hi all...

How were your days?

It was very hot again here today (40 degrees) & I was struggling with suicidal thoughts & feeling like I am fat (I'm size 6-8, but don't like my squidgy bits...)

I didn't do anything much today except for drive into town with my partner to get a few groceries like watermelon & iceblocks!