Night Shift

@Mazarita

It must really hurt to feel less than a woman because you don't have children - you must really want them - or have in the past - and I have felt that -

It is a wrenching heart-pain - I know that it's a feeling that totally overwhelms a woman - and it is really hard to see past it at times

I have dreams sometimes - that I am pregnant to a man who really loves me and it is a brilliant dream - and as I rise through the layers of sleep to being awake I feel how sad it is that I have no partner, no equipment and my age - ah - that last one - and I wake up knowing that my only successful pregnancy was tough - and I have a daughter I would like to see more often - but she can be so touchy I keep my own life to myself

So I don't know your story - and I know you feel less than a woman because you don't have children - and that is a toughie - how does one respond to that?

The years of our lives pass incredibly quickly - as do the years of childbearing - and it can be totally the major issue - and this is a right - (beep) -

I can't answer that one - I wanted about 4 kids - didn't happen - life throws curly balls

But I do understand - it is heart-breaking

Decadian

Thanks for your kind words, @Decadian.

In fact I chose not to have children for reasons of chronic physical illness, chronic mental illness, chronic poverty and virtually no family or community support. All responsible reasons for making this choice I think. The pain I feel is not so much that I missed the opportunity but that women who choose not to have children for any reason seem to be so often considered 'less than' in the eyes of society, as are people who do not have paid employment. It makes me angry, but most of all it makes me sad. And it makes me feel like even more of an outsider than I already felt from a very young age.

Another part of me at this age simply accepts the situation and appreciates the luck I have had in many ways in life.

There are so many of us, especially on this forum, with these long-standing pains of varying hue that we have to deal with. It's wonderful the way we are able to support each other and share our stories here. Thanks for being part of this.

Yeah, @Faith-and-Hope, I can do that, but only on Thursday this week.

I guess I keep on walking this dangerous path for a couple of days, and I'll need to be careful. Not sleeping too long can make me hallcinuate and potientally psychosis.

I can't imagine bug tea.. Sounds like something Timon and Pumbaa would eat/drink, haha! (Lion King, anyone?)

Bug tea will be just fine with me today, @Faith-and-Hope. Seems like I've got bees in my bonnet anyway!

@Snuchu, it took me several months to wean myself off the green but I've been free of it for over two months now. Feel much better off it. I can talk more about how I quit later if you like, but only if you think it might be useful to you.

Will be off to hydrotherapy soon. Hope everyone has some bright moments in their day.

@Mazarita, PLEASE do share your story, I will definitely find it helpful! I've been flailing around thinking of ways to quit it.

Hi @Mazarita

I guess i feel a bit reluctant to reply about your feelings around children and how you are viewed. I've never thought about it... i know lots of people who have chosen not to have children for various reasons, and others who havent been able to, and so many more people who should never have become parents for different reasons (particularly in my work - though i know thats very judgemental!) But i honestly feel mostly respect for you in that you made a choice and hopefully (like anyone) its a choice that you were/are happy with. I do think our society is harsh on women for any reason.. if you work and have young children you are a bad mother, if you're not working you're not contributing to them financially and are a bad parent, if you are single you're depriving your children of male role model, if you're single and over 30 there must be something wrong with you, if you dont have children.... etc I don't say any of this to make light or take away from how you're feeling but more to say, i don't think you're alone... society is in general so very harsh... (not just of women either). but im so tired i may not be making sense now either.

Also just had to pay $150 for a 5 minute appointment iwth a specialist for my son who said i'd like to see him again in 3 months to discuss surgery! no other info, no real explanation of anything, just i want to see how it goes and will look again in 3 months and discuss surgery! the $150 was the gap!! sheesh!

I couldnt face work today.. but i feel incredibly guilty now being home.

lj

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

@Snuchu

That has to be the pits - you ring your nurse and she is obviously concerned enough to turn up with a scary video and then tells you to stop and goes away leaving you in a worse place

I can't tell you what would help - it is totally out of my league - but I can say I think it's pretty poor

I am pretty sure that Medical stuff is available in parts of Canada - I can suggest you try and find out about that - but otherwise I can only say that it's really crappy that this is all the help you have had so far

Shame on the system there. You asked for help and that's all you got

Hugs

Decadian