Night Shift

@Former-Member, good luck with that.. 1 hour is better than nothing, right?

Hi guys

I have been dozing in and out of sleep. Just a quick "hi" before I go back to sleep. Still a few hours till daylight over here, and a busy out-and-about day tomorrow ....

💤

Hey, @Faith-and-Hope. 🙂

I hope you get more sleep!

@Former-Member, sorry to hear about that. I relate so much! I'm glad you're okay, though.

Hi @Former-Member

I'm on the run this morning, but I'm hearin' ya ❣

Please bear in mind that some - some - of what you are feeling is common to all parents, without additional layers of relationship breakdowns, house moves, ratty baby dragon-child teens and 20-somethings, mi, and as many other types of complications life throws at us.

Just keep turning the lemons to lemonade on the days you feel up to it.

Send some of the lemons back to the people who gave them to you and say' "No thanks, got enough without these ones too !!"

Chuck a few over the fence, or under the house, or down the local park, or wherever else is not right on your doorstep ........

Have a bug cup of tea, a big hug from me, a big deep breath, and go look for some little gem or rainbow in the middle of the day. Please let me know if you find one ?? I will be dropping back in at some point .......

😘 .......... ❤️💗💜

Hugs @Former-Member

Just letting you know that i hear you! i relate to so much of that, i wish there were an easy switch to flick to fix it all or make things better somehow but...

@Faith-and-Hope as usual you've written such a caring and thoughtful response, you're a beautiful soul i do believe and we are so lucky to have you on the forums.

Hope that by letting it out into the universe has helped somewhat @Former-Member be gentle with yourself today, maybe find a way to give yourself some time today, even if its just mindful breathing or takinga moment to recentre

LJ

I hear you @Former-Member

Sheesh - I feel the same way sometimes -

It feels as if I have to make all the effort when it comes to being in touch with certain people - some I have given up on - other's I keep in touch with - but it is always me who reaches out

Why is that? Do people dislike me? I don't think so - with the exception of my toxic sister - mostly people are busy - or maybe they feel like me and do't want to spread their feelings of disasasitfaction - I don't know.

But then - I have my own castle - my life is interesting -

But where family are - is - concerned - I feel at a loss -

And like you I find it hard to get out unless I have an appointment -

I really think that people either don't want to load us up with their lot - or they think they have everything in their patch perfect - or want it to seem that way

Sign ..... - Life can be pretty crappy - you are not alone - you just feel that way and I understand - I really do -

Decadian

Hi @Former-Member,

Good on you for having a little rant. I hope you don't mind me answering at first with similar. I really relate to the tired part. Physically tired almost all the time. Mentally tired from the struggle to rise above. Tired of the sorry aspects of my past. Tired of feeling like 'less of a woman' for not having children. Tired of feeling like 'less of a citizen' because I don't have paid employment. Tired of struggling with creative work in the face of perfectionism and audience indifference. Tired of so many other things. Tired of being tired.

And yet, as @Faith-and-Hope says, there are bright moments amidst all of this. Simple things a lot of the time, like being able to smile at some of the amusing things written on this forum. Moments of uplift like when you challenged us to pamper ourselves and all who took up the challenge did something that made them feel better (I still have to give myself a foot massage, but will get to that). Beautiful moments like sharing company with someone you have known since you were 9 years old just yesterday. For me, my old friend in Victoria and the magic of how long we have been loving witnesses to each other's lives. These are just a few. Happiness comes often in bits and pieces I think.

But I totally get how overwhelmed we can become with the darker view sometimes. Even just this morning I woke up hobbling from sore feet as usual, exhausted even after about 9 hours sleep in a few blocks and feeling generally ancient. By some miracle I'm now almost ready to go out to hydrotherapy. I think, in your case, you mentioned yesterday that it's PMS time and that this week was likely to be harder for you. Maybe that's what is feeding your feelings in that rant too.

But enough on this. Hope I haven't raved too much in response to your post. I know that sometimes we just have to feel what we feel and no amount of silver lining talk makes it feel better. If I've said the wrong thing, please forgive me. And thanks for listening anyway.

I feel a bit disheartened, guys... My nurse came over, and showed me a video about psychosis and green smoke - I gotta quit it, even though it helps me. She said in the long term, it worsens my schizoaffective / bipolar, especially when I've been psychotic every year.

She didn't even really ask about my relapse and didn't do any preventative measures like asking me to give her all the substances, or something like that.

I dunno what to do now.