Night Shift

@Decadian, yeah... Exactly. The system here are usually pretty decent, I just think she got confused and thought I was out, or something like that.

I'm in a pretty urban part of Canada, so accessing medical stuff isn't a problem.

I didn't exactly ask for help, I simply TOLD her what was going on, and I didn't mean to be like that... I will ask for help on Thursday.

About the green, I might need to go to rehab because I'd relapse so much.

Hi @Former-Member, @Mazarita, @Snuchu, @Faith-and-Hope, @Decadian,

thanks for all your responses. It does help to know you are not alone. I have just had a build up of things (and had put my head in the sand over a few which was coming back to bite me) and I'm feeling like I'm on a roller coaster emotionally at the moment. That was my meltdown which was much healthier than the ones I've had in the past although it was touch and go a bit this morning. I was feeling particularly self destructive. Anyway a cup of bug tea helped to fix it. Better than a bug hug @Faith-and-Hope at least I presume they can't crawl on you in bug tea😝

@Snuchu I had a similar response this morning from my therapist too. I think mine was really just throwing it all back at me to say that I have choices and that sometimes I have to stand up to the plate more and take responsibility. It really hurt and sucked today but ultimately it was probably the best thing she could have done. Maybe your nurse was doing this too, it is confusing at the time though when you just want support.

@Mazarita Thanks for your post. It inspired a passionate response in my head too regarding some of the things you wrote. I could identify with your rants too except the creative one and the children one. So here's my take. Having a child doesn't make you more womanly or less or more of a women. For me being a woman is about being caring, compassionate, loving, thoughtful, empathic, sharing laughter and love, having someone's back you care about and looking after the people you love when they need it. It has nothing to do with domestic life or dressing femininely. It doesn't have anything to do with culture or sexual preference. It definitely doesn't come from having a child. It's about the inner beauty. These traits can be masculine as well but I tend to find them in the women I admire and respect. I see you @Mazarita as all woman. I can't speak for the emotions you've felt over the years about this but more as a perception of womanhood. I see some fine women on this forum😊💜

thanks again all for your support. I just faced one of the things before I wrote this that I was fearing and survived which helps. Hoping you have a good day😊💜

PS $150 out of pocket for nothing @Former-Member. I'd be peaved too. Thinking of you😊💜

Hi @Mazarita

@Faith-and-Hope and @Former-Member have said it so well - and now I know you chose not to have children - I can say that you made a tough choice and for you - a good choice

But society is so tough of women - we are expected to do so much - and believing this is toiugh too - it's women who are the hardest on each other

I suppose it's a case of "the grass is always greener" - but with ill health and being totally broke and alone it would be irresponsible to choose to bring a child into that - yet women fail to make a choice all the time - and just have the kids anyway - and then find motherhood is more than one night with the man she may or may not see again - whatever - it is a hard call - for you - it was the right call - but still - you live with the "less than" feeling

Adoption might work in some cases - but I doubt it does in many - and children brought into this world by irresposible women make this happen at times - often in fact - and it breaks my heart

And my heart feels broken for you too

@Former-Member said it so well - none of us win in the world of the self-righteous women in this world

And it is all people can think about at times -

It must be rotten for you - I really care

Decadian

Hey, @plasmo. Good morning... Is it morning?

Ahh, okay, @plasmo. It's night for me, around 9 PM.

That makes sense @Snuchu

Yes - if you need help you have to ask for it - it's one of the rules for getting help I think - be explicit.

Medical stuff has the active component taken out of it - I really don't know much about it

My suggestion is though to get into Rehab - it would be hard to do it alone esp with ADHD

Decadian

Hi @Decadian, how are you today?

Hi @comet, how's things? I've just finished tantrumming like a big child, well for now anyway. How's that cat of yours. I hope he's making you smile. My dog is driving me crazy at the moment. He definitely needs a walk. Hope to here back from you😊💜

hey @Silenus, how are you too? Have your survived you big weekend well. I hope it went well.😊💜

@Snuchu and @plasmo. How are you going?