@Mazarita wrote:
Hi @Faith-and-Hope,
How nice to be out for a night with your girls. 🙂
It is part of this line of work that there are ups and downs like this. I've been at it for 30 years, you'd think I'd be used to that by now. But no, not this ole girl, lol. I'm like a kid waiting for icecream every time. 
Well ........ my girls are home now ! ....... dropped off by a sh***y fiancé .......
Ah, the dramas of youth ....... !! Bit of working out to do there, but you know what ? It's actually not my business now at their age ........ 😊 Not that I don't care, but there will be little temperamental flare ups, and they have to be mature enough to sort through them if they're getting married.
Y'know something Maz ? I'm the kid waiting for the ice-cream a lot too ........ lol ........ well put !
Teej, I know there's a lot of back-story there, and it involves your house, and I'm sorry you have to go through all this, but it seems to me you're doing a sterling job of it anyway.
I was suggested to join the forums by EDV (Eating Disorders Victoria). Even though we are not based there, it is a place we visit frequently, and I just couldn't find anywhere bpnear the same support on the west coast here. I started by emailing them, and used the Helpline I think, but we have come through so much across the last few years, and I try to put things we have hurdled behind me a great deal - there is too much to concentrate on even now that is upcoming - so trying to piece it all together in hindsight becomes a bit scrambled .....
I hesitated about joining the forums, probably because I was on emotional overload, but you know something ? It has provided the same sort of support-group warmth and understanding as if I were attending a support group meeting, only it's very conveniently available 24/7, and "from the comfort if my own living room".
My husband isn't the only one living a double life until we get this whole mess sorted - I have to survive in the shadow of his denial, and attending support groups anywhere would show up on his radar. I think he still believes I am seeing the psychologist for my own health issues, instead of having any awareness that it's a flow-on effect from him.
Something I didn't mention previously is that part of his control issues involve being apoplectic to track our movements, the kids and I, through our mobile phones. The tracking was set up as a convenience initially, so we could communicate about our whereabouts, and have peace of mind when the kids were out kate at night, now, under the influence of his illness, this has become a bit like (a lot like) stalking, in that I don't have the privacy to go to a support group, and then try to work around his paranoia while he is in denial that there is anything I would need a support group for .....
Long, messy story, but the tracking doesn't bother me. It's keeping him pacified ...... ✅ and the forums are such a wonderful support ......... ✅ in a way that a support group meeting couldn't come close to at the moment.
I am loving the people here ......... ✅ and the diversity of issues and experience is a privilege to be involved with ...... ✅
Any answers for you there ? I hope I haven't triggered or upset you with any of this.
❤️
