Night Shift

@eth, yeah, mine are still bad, troubled, or simply odd. Dreaming a fair bit about people from the past. And I seem more actively involved in the dreams since I've quit the green, as in more emotionally involved when dreaming and taking more action. On the green I was more a passive observer of events. What have been some of yours (if you feel like going into any detail)?

@Mazarita one of mine was about going over an obstacle course and ending up sitting in a group of people where one of my ex'es was and feeling ok about them. Fairly clear message there.

The most disturbing one was a shocker - x-rated and involved multiple rapes - so much stuff I couldn't begin to tell - and I can't work out how I managed to stay asleep for it. Wish I hadn't. I was the victim.

That's just a couple of them.

When I was on the green I almost never remembered dreaming at all, maybe once or twice a year. As soon as I gave up it started and has continued.

I just think it's incredible what our minds can come up with.

What have some of yours been - if you want to share?

@eth,

So sorry you had that traumatic dream, that would have been truly horrible to have to sleep through.

The disturbing ones I've been having are not nightmares like that. More just really unpleasant in their afterglow, which can last for a while, sometimes all day. I forget a lot of them later, partly blanking them out on purpose I think.

There was one sexually oriented dream which I didn't like. In it I was living in a run down place with some people I used to live with for about six months in real life (in a condemnable house). They are still friends but are living a sexual lifestyle I no longer embrace. It was a complicated relationship in real life (threesome dynamics were part of it) and a part of me feels that my vulnerability at that time was somewhat taken advantage of. Another part of me fully acknowledges that I chose to be in that situation as a consenting adult.

In the dream I had been living with them for four or five years instead of six months, sleeping rough a lot of the time on their fold out bed in the loungeroom. The whole feel of the dream was just sleazy and threw me back into that part of my life and the extreme things I got up to at that time in real life (it was during my big manic time). It ended with this sleazy punk guy cracking onto me. I didn't really want to be cracked onto but, as happened in real life back then, felt pressured to succumb for some reason. Maybe it was just so that I would continue to be part of the gang, which provided my home, such as it was.

Nothing too extreme really. It was more the emotional content of how I felt about it all, somehow powerless to change my situation due to poverty and other factors. Probably not even worth writing about, but there it is.

Just unreal how our minds work @Mazarita. And how the subconscious then affects the conscious and our emotions when we wake.
Sorry but I'm getting dozy here and will have to say goodnight and go slumber. Take care of you tomorrow and tell that perfectionist to back off a bit!

I've enjoyed our chat as always. Nite nite 🙂

Night night, @eth. I'm going offline now too. Hi @PeppiPatty. Hope you both get a sound sleep when you get there.

p.s. by the way, @PeppiPatty, your post read in English to me in the email notification but when I read it on the forum it looks like it's in Greek? Maybe it's just your mysterious ways? Anyway, night night again. xo

@eth The Aboriginal Festival sounds fabulous .. I would really like to come with you .. maybe next year ...

Its funny talking about dreams. I had a weird one on the theme of my own tendencies to suicide yesterday. It was not too intense and I see it as my unconscious registering it as a part of my life .. maybe it can pack it away and I will be done with SI from now on ... that would be nice.

@Mazarita Last night, I was online researching all the old hippy names just getting a sense of what happened to Timothy Leary, Ken Kesy, Vonnegot etc .. putting the 60s 70s in the US and the early 80s in Australia in perspective. There was a lot of peer pressure to be involved in sexual and drug experimentation. I had 2 threesomes in the family. I was cool with it at the time .. It was in the air, if not in the water supply. We do have to process the kind of decisions we made when we were young, but dont be too harsh about it. Age, maturity and hindsight can be great ... I really appreciate your honesty. Each generation has its unique challenges. That was part of what we lived through at impressionable times in our lives... the zeitgeist .. I was very experimental with drugs and sex and then went off the whole counter culture thing, as I saw it hurt more people than I thought "Make Love not War" should. We may have gone to some of the same parties.

Peppi experimented with her looks ... love the purple hair and over-alls ... transition to lacey and lovely @PeppiPatty

I'm awake now @plasmo. Anyone else here?

Hi @Silenus even Brisbane is too big for me. Hope she treats you well. I've lived there many years ago and enjoyed it but that was before the toll ways and free ways everywhere. The job you are about to apply for sounds to me like something you'd be really good for, even if it's different from what you are used to doing. And it sounds like your lived experience would be a really good thing there.

Hope you are well today. It's earlier here so still dark and no birds yet. What are you hearing this morning? Are you still living in the bus? It's a great life as you spend a lot of it outside and I think that's quite grounding (it is for me).

Have just been reading your long post on reality and lifting Grandma in the writing thread. Love it!