Night Shift

@eth, well... I was super irritable with my dad, poor him. He was confused and didn't know how to react, so he got mad back. 😞
Otherwise it was okay, though... and we still love each other, haha.

My nurse replied back to me and now I'm on a different shot for schizoaffective, but I'm not sure when I'd start it, though. She gave me a list of contacts to keep in touch with when she's gone for extra support... She also told me if I can't cope, then I should go to the ER. Sigh...

Sorry to hear your time with your dad was like that @Snuchu. But he is obviously still supporting you. Would going to your parents' house (like another night recently) be an option when you are not coping?

@eth, I scream at the voices and swear, speak at them... Nobody knows this yet but I'm ashamed.

I think it's better to go to the hospital instead of trying to cope with my parents' judgements and over-worry.

I've had calls back and now appointments booked with both the psychologist and the psychiatrist this morning, so am feeling like I'm on track to getting more support again and working through some more 'stuff'. Feeling relieved. The psychologist will be under the mental health care plan so 6 sessions at no cost to me, with a review then for a possible few more. The psychiatrist agreed to see me as a bulk bill client again - that's the best news in quite a while.

@Snuchu that must be so scary for you, both your reaction to the voices and the idea of going to the hospital again. But that is probably where you'll get the best support while you get more stable and get used to another change of meds. They will keep you safe. I've been there several times myself and while some of the staff are harder than others to deal with, the overall outcome has definitely been for the best and I know now that it was the best place to be during those times. They are the most qualified to treat what you are experiencing. As you know, we here can only speak from lived experience, not qualified therapists.

I think you have made a brave decision.

@eth, I'm talking to crisis chat right now. I feel so dizzy for some reason... Man... I don't feel good.

Are you still there @Snuchu? I hope I didn't overstep the mark with my last comment. I'm still here listening if you want to keep talking.

@Snuchu slow down your breathing and make it deeper. Try to drink some water. Hope crisis chat is helping you. You are being brave to reach out for help again.

@eth, I don't really want to go to the hospital... I'm so 50/50 on it. Ughhhhhhhhhhh.

@Snuchu I can't make that decision for you but I do know from my own experience that it's much better to go in voluntarily than to be forced to go. Are you still talking to crisis chat? What do they say?

Just letting you know in advance I have to go out in half an hour to an appointment in the city.