Night Shift

I'm still here @Snuchu. Not feeling tired again yet.

@eth,

Just caught your last message before heading back to bed and wanted to answer straight away. I wasn't confused about anything that you wrote the other night. Actually I can't quite remember what you wrote about your female friend. In any case, I've written quite a few confusing messages myself here over time and I would think very little about that. We are pretty much 'first drafting' everything we write here.

I get what you are saying about your man friend. I had an open relationship with a bisexual guy for about four years and he never really wanted it to be more than a separate living arrangement. In that particular case, it was a wonderful and fun relationship in some ways but ended up being traumatic for both of us for various reasons. He also had MI that was not diagnosed at the time and I think our relationship didn't really help. I really hope you find what you dream of in that regard, @eth. Living alone can be great in some ways but hard in others.

Goodnight again, sweet dreams.

@eth, what time is it over there now? It sucks that you can't sleep.

Thankyou. So true @Mazarita about living alone. So much of life is about pros and cons, benefits vs risks isn't it.

Hope you get some more good rest. I don't seem to be winding down yet - hope I do but just having a home day today so it won't really matter. Take care good friend.

@Snuchu It's just after 5am. I've been awake since 2.15 am. But I did sleep for 4 hours before that. Do you sleep well?

@eth, at least you got SOME sleep... but that still sucks.

I've had a long history of sleep problems, ever since I was a kid. If I was depressed, I would sleep 20+ hours, if I was manic, I wouldn't sleep at all, or at the maximum 3 or 4 hours.

If you're referring to recently, then I'm not so bad, but not good either. Two nights ago I slept at 1 am and woke up at 6 am, and last night it was 5 hours as well.

5 hours I can cope with @Snuchu but anything less than that for any length of time I know can be a hypomania trigger for me. And so can the anxiety about whether that might happen. Most nights I wake around 2am recently but am able to wind down again by now. But not tonight! The weird part is that this time I am getting more depressed during the day instead of hyper. I want to fight it by doing something each day, even if it's not much and have also got my Dr more involved. My antipsychotic was increased 9 days ago but hasn't changed anything yet. Am also going to start seeing a psychologist again.

Most of the time the sleep I do get is only 1-2 hours at a time, a few times a night for the last couple of months. I dream of being able to get a 5 hour block of sleep like you have! But we all have different needs. What would your ideal amount of sleep be?

@eth, yes! I'm the same way right now... It's weird because it's summer which means I should be getting manic, but this time I'm depressed and I guess I'm delusional too because at the hospital I was named delusional.

Ideal sleep is 8 to 10 hours for me, which happens if I smoke the green.

Have you identified anything in your thinking that would make them say that @Snuchu? You seem to have insight to me.