Night Shift

Hi @Angels333

I'm okay, my husband is trying to gain a lot of weight from eating heaps of lollies, good for him.

My son tod him last night that he has acted more like a father than his own Father has acted to him last night......What a compliment for him.

I'm okay,,,,,,, Getting through. Hoping to see my Psychotherapist asap ..to help me through this time......

Hi all..

@Angels333 - wonderful to hear you have stopped SH'ing!

Hey @eth & @Appleblossom - good luck with the house guests...

Hi @Decadian - nice to meet you - thank you for your reply a week or so ago - I just haven't been up to writing here...

Hi @PeppiPatty - when can you see your therapist next?

I feel depressed & a friend who is moving up to Gladstone next month - just said she can't catch up next Thursday - just made me feel worse... Just feel alone...

A lot is going on - I just don't have much energy to write...

Namaste,

A

Dear @Former-Member

Thinking of you.

You put so much energy into body work, maybe writing isnt your main thing, but if it helps, I like to hear from you ... and you are a part of our clan ... or .. write in a journal or in a word document as Journal .. just privately if it helps you get clarity on the issues. Sometimes I only had time to jot points, but it can be worth looking at later.

I also have been upset all my life over various people not being bothered to want to see me... yesterday in reading my sister's file .. I read a comment from my mothers family .. noted by a social worker .. that said that they wouldnt remember our little family or sibling group (dated 1968) ... and I wasted 40 years of my life trying to engender a big extended family culture ... well .. I took a while to learn ... and am trying to move on with my self esteem .. that I am worthy of good relationships even if my family didnt care. Not to take their inadequacy personally.

Hope to see you soon bella ... I am signing off to do some music practise .. and my kids are down the coast ... yay .. hope its a great weekend for them. Go gently with yourself ... you have had hard road .. but have lots of great traits .. anchor yourself on your positives.

Hi all and thanks for your support. Feeling a little swamped but will get through this ok. There will be times when the kids go out without me and also I either sit on the back porch for a ciggie or have a short 'nap' in my bedroom when I need to so far (don't really have a nap but it's easiest to say that).

Hi @Appleblossom - You are so kind

Thank you....

My psychologist suggested I write a journal, because I "write well" - I don't like writing in a physical journal anymore, as I worry that my partner will read it & misintrepret it. When she said that I found Journalate online - where you can write jounal entries. I did write a lengthy one at the time, but it didn't save & I got discouraged (I guess...) - I will try to write an entry soon! Thanks for the encouragement.

The kittens are running around like crazy!

I'm about to go to yoga, which will be my 2nd time this week. It's been a hard week....

My mum brought me a new pillow - I can't be certain, but I think it is the same or very similar to my old one (which is 8 + years old!) Today I didn't wake up with a headache & my neck is a bit stiff, but I think I just need to break it in.

Yesterday I brought scrapbooking stickers etc to make my 'mother in law' a Mother's Day card - she really appreciates them. I brought my mum a colouring in card - I'll colour in a little with some bright pens & let her do the rest with colouring in pencils - she likes doing that. I'll probably do that after yoga....

Anyhow,

Must go to yoga...

Namaste,

A

Thanks @Former-Member....

I'm just going to look up journalate.

Like your message very much. Because you write and you are clever.

Hi @Appleblossom

I know you have imagined - engendered is a good word - a large extended family - and reading an old file that says something like no one would remember what happened - in 1968 - ah - I am sorry - I have a similar story - I really get it

It seems both of us are worthy of membership in groups of people - who ever they are - and we can pick our friends - if not family

There is - it seems - a feeling that family "should" love us - well - in ancient timess - pre-historica times - clans existed to support each other and the members were necessary to each other for survival

And it's a new thought for me but inside we still carry that thought - but life has changed over and over - and now

You are worthy of all the good things a group or any group you choose - life does not deal equally - some of us battle more than other - some can battle harder than other can battle.

And we all need people - yes - I do like my privacy - but people are more than welcome in my life

I don't think it was a waste to carry a hope for 40 years - I think it was brave - I think it was loving - it seems very pure - because apart from the love you might have had - you did not expect much

And you do deserve membership - wherever you chose to go

Decadian

Hi @Former-Member

I understand about the journal - it is something very private - between yourself and you - and they are important

It's tricky to write on in a note book - I kept them for years without even thinking anyone in my immediate family would ever read it - and eventually I read them again - I even found one recently - I don't know how I came to keep it -

But they have all been ditched

I do write in a private place on-line - there are "groups" of only one person - trying looking through "groups" and set up your own - no membership for anyone else - and write what you like - and no one knows it's there and you can delete with one press of the button

Here's the thing about writing or talking with a councellor - what we write or what we say is not important for anyone else - it's only important for us -

Writing our thoughts is a great idea - don't be discouraged - it is a great way to clarify our thoughts, dreams, nightmares, fear and hopes

And these can stop running around in our head -

I wish you the best and I am sorry you got discouraged

All the best with Yoga -

Decadian

Hi @Decadian I love what you wrote. Hi @Appleblossom I completely agree with @Decadian's words and have been thinking about what you are going through working through such huge and significant files. Just a bit caught up in all that is happening here to write much at the moment.

@Decadian

Where did you get this.......caring knowledge from? Jeepers......you rung a little tincle bell in my ear about my life and what Im going through and trying to understand why my brother has so much sibling rivalry against me.

When you say, we can pick our friends.it feels like @Appleblossom is being heard after a very long time with people that she has really connected to online and that she makes great changes in others lives as well.