Night Shift

Hi everyone. Sending greetings from the middle of the night. Woke up very late (or early) after crashing into bed during Friday Feast.

@Jacques, that's horrible about the break in next door. Another good thing you have done for your mother by securing the house so that yours was okay.

@Shaz51, just doubling up on what @Jacques said about tiredness and depression. I sleep so much when depressed and my whole body is heavy. I move around slower than usual and have difficulty even moving my body at all sometimes. These certainly can be symptoms of depression. But it could be worth ruling out the medical possibilities with your husband. From what I know, blood tests might include checking for any abnormalities with thyroid. I'm not sure what else could be medically causing the tiredness, probably many things. Talking to your GP about it might be the next step.

@Appleblossom, I'm relating to your anxiety about possible flare ups with your son's girlfriend. I'm deeply anxious about how it's going to go staying with my mum while travelling. I love her so much and we can't wait to see each other. But it's after that we tend to get into trouble. We are both intense people. We've already had a chat about things on the phone and we're both going to try to be gentle. I'm expecting the depression to lift somewhat, as it has done in the past, just through change of external conditions when travelling: not being at home, the natural instinct in me to be as 'up' as possible in company, needing to be more actively independent as I move around. I'm also visiting a cousin for a couple of nights and going out to the countryside down there to see my oldest friend. Good things to look forward to. And hopefully I'll be a lot better when I get back.

@PeppiPatty, I know what you mean about not being able to write your feelings. I've been feeling like that too lately. There's no need to write when you're not feeling it though. It will come back naturally when it's ready I think. Sometimes I think forcing it is just not helpful. Love seeing your photos of Arlo.

@PeppiPatty, you... smile on my face too. Mum and I will have good times on this trip too I think. Thanks for the idea to stop for a moment and ask that question about what we do that's good for us, if we get heated with each other. Anne, I know about the loss of exercise, feeling it too just now. We'll get back to it when we can. We are okay, we are good, taking it slow, all good ideas.

@PeppiPatty, so glad to hear the mood stabilisers are helping. It's sadly a bit hard to remember untroubled past times with mum. There are good moments though, especially being simply happy to see each other again after a while. We have a mostly untroubled phone relationship these days and appreciate each other very much. She really is a wonderful woman, it's just... complicated... mostly by trauma we both experienced in the past. Partner is staying here. We usually travel separately. It gives us some time out from each other, our independent spirits get some exercise, and then it is great to see each other again at the end.

@Mazarita Good Luck with the trip. It sounds like you have planned well.

Regarding the girl, I made a little comment today after rehearsal, that I was a bit of a soft touch, always encouraging and that was why she could go in hard on me. She looked sheepish. We will see how it goes til next Sunday.

@Jacques Dreadful being woken up by the burglar. I was like you .. put up with poverty and have actaully found a way to make it a positive .. now ... I am richer than I ever was .. I have plenty of music and stuff ... and finally starting to find friends. Yes I was upset about Turkey. Dont worry I am not in a hurry to travel, dont even have a passport.

@PeppiPatty I have going slow for a long time and trying to slow the rest of the world down too. I was feeling a lot of your sadness as you are coming to terms with your husband's physical and emotional state. It is important you do keep your creative projects going .. cos you keep him going .. and we all try to keep each other going .. you once said he was jumping up and done saying go Apple .. dont know if it was true .. but doing those things helps him, you, me, us all, be part of the solution.

After the Othello rehearsal we went to the pub. We havent done that for about a year and it was lovely. I had just one house red. My son sang an aria from the Verdi opera and was approved to sing it for the public next week. I was very proud of him today. It is a very big role, even though he doesnt have to memorise it. The director was pleased with his acting and his singing .. so all good.

Hi @Appleblossom, i just wanted to say i am so proud of you for overcomming adversity and rebuilding your life, you deserve happyness and you seem to be on the right path, making new connections, venturing out and making new friends, please make sure you are selfish once in a while too, do something you want, something you enjoy.

Take care my vritual mum, you are amazing 🙂

Jacques

Dear @lisajane@Jacques @Mazarita @Appleblossom @Former-Member @Shaz51 @Billamba @Bella @Chris

All everyone hi,

@Jacques I agree with you re' money but it's hard because when your poor, you feel it a lot. My husband and I make very dure that we do not discuss money because we feel it is vcrass and we also make sure that we both do what we want to do.

Apple. yes, my gorgeous husband was doing that. he is very cute and in his psychosis, there is def. a childlike quality ........

I am so sorry that your going through a bit of agrophobia @Jacques. We are all here for you and we all love how you juggle creativity re; your room. you are right.....you dont need to be creative all the time but it is ...for me,,,,,,,exciting planning creativity.

I like, budget for a tapestry and feel so HAPPY you get taspestys for your Mum and feel the joy of her finishing it.

HAPPY that @Mazarita is going away and seeing her Mum.

On that note, I need your advise. Is this okay? Yesterday, my darling son and I was in emergancy with bad headaches and when we were there, my Mum came in. But she was very jumpy, her friend was in the other room waiting for her and also, a coyuple of days ago, my son had told her of the sexual abuse and she has..........decided that his story of sexual abuse was not real. It was very painfoul for him to see her rolling her eyes and not believing him. it was also telling for me that he is getting terrible headaches. He is very scared and is bothering me with when the appiontment for his next MRI will be.

When Mum was in emergency, she was acutally...stroking his arm, I have never seen her do that to someone but also looking hurried, she didnt want to be there and she was telling me that he didnt believe what he was saying.

Should I write her a letter with everyones help to tell her that he is extrememly upset and what he was like when he told me and how she has caused him to have worse problems that she was rolling her eyes and her open show off about money is causing him distress??