Night Shift

@Former-Member, congratulations on getting through week one!!!! You are awesome!

you are awesome @Former-Member

hello @Mazarita, @Appleblossom, @Terry, @PeppiPatty, how are you today ??

Im reading and will answer. You should know Im a little unable to look around xx

what are you reading my @PeppiPatty, i have not read a book for a long time

Hi @Shaz51 Looks Like it's going to be shot PErth for the next few days........

lol

How are you?

I'm reading a book about addictions by Gabor Mate, called "In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts."

I think I learn so much from my husband....about addiction and causes and compassion though.

Do you know what I mean that you learn from others??

DEar @Mazarita

I rewrite this excerpt to you that you have written.

I have come to suspect he may be suffering from depression. Out of the blue he started talking about the high suicide rate of psychologists and psychiatrists in one of our first meetings, and there are other indications of it, though I could obviously be wrong about this too. But the fact that mental health professionals are human, make mistakes and have personal and professional struggles is something I want to remember more.

I was looking over my notes today..just a little bit....my concentration is a bit stuffed these days. It would be much worse if I wasnt on Sane Forums though. At least...you and others are kick starting me into looking at them....

After I wrote this note...I'lle write when I wrote these notes and I'm sure that you will be bowled over laughing.....

As I remember, this cool lady called Julia Kristeva......wrote this book called "Black Death."

She wrote that; on page 83 to 85 : depressed people act out their depression and their mood and their sence of self.

Because they do not want to acknowledge this; feeling of impending .....sadness that they feel from being depressed.

So they are running sway from their sadness. Because they want to run away from this feeling of depression but no matter what they do...they will still act out ....this feeling of how bad they feel about themselves.

Does this ring true for you?

Do you think I got it right? I can remember.....remembering that my boundries are zip bad:

That when my Step Dad was bulling me out of my home, he was using me and pushed and pushed me into a relationship with a bad person. I loved him because...maybe....I felt really bad about myself. I know that I was mega depressed. Some things happened that......make me think about them...... now realising how terribly depressed and unhappy I was. Whereas now, today, if I still have bad boundries but when I get into a potentially sticky situations, my husband pulls me out of it and stops it and I dont feel anything but absolute relief.

@Former-Member

You are awesome!! It took me until now, until 48 to realised what exhausted is.....I feel you are though so much more.......understanding of yourself in how you treat your children and yourself.

Im reading all your messages......

Congradulations on passing one week...

LOVE xx

Dear @PeppiPatty,

Wow, you gave so much thought to what I wrote.

I relate to your quotations of Kristeva mostly for myself, to be honest: the deeper depression I seem to carry with me throughout life. That thing that makes it so hard to get up and move from the chair or get out of the flat fairly often. In my behaviour to other people, even my partner, I try to stay 'up' as much as possible. I don't cry much these days. That may be partly to do with medications.

With the psychologist, it was mainly his comment about suicide and psychologists/psychiatrists that made me wonder. Today, when our sessions were at an end, he opened up to me much more than he ever had before and he didn't seem depressed. He gave me good thoughts to take with me, and encouragement. I think he's a fine person. We even left it that I could return to him if I was still struggling after my next 10 sessions with the new psychologist.

I remember that terrible thing that happened with your father. So wonderful that your husband helps you with those boundaries now.

s, Well @Mazarita I am just in LOVE with those love hearts that you show......

It feels like the Psychotherapist is letting you go to also give him a rest...poor guy......Maybe he knows he did wrong............

Im glad that you did not spend too much time trying to make him feel good because remember this is his JOB. HE has RULES and THINGS he shouldnt say that he HAS TO to stay in.

I cannot believe it wasnt deleted, my message, not that I care if I do get a message deleted. You just .....fix it up.....

I dont have the brilliance of long complex words but I do grasp the somet hings and .......I care for you and your image.....is on my mind sometimes.....giving me hope and forgiving me for sleeping and trying to get through during the day.

Can I write to you when I read Julia Kristeva? I had taken my two sons to California for 2 months when they were 10 and 13 or 14. We went everyewhere but we stayed with family all the time and .......some hilarious times and sone very stressful times.

When I got home, my Step Dad started showing me his true colurs and .....some bad things happened. So he could get 'rid,' of me while he dealt with other things..he got me to book a trip to Bali as he said..to recover.......

I had my first session with my new PSychotherapist and she was begging me not to go to Bali but I ignored her and went for a week. I spent the whole time there...well, for the first 3 or 4 days, I hired a driver to drive me around the island and the rest of the time, I spent in bed...reading this awfully melacohololic book about ....this ....

I cannot believe I did that!!!

And I took all these notes..........jeepers, it was a very nice hotel. I was so TIRED and so DID NOT want to be there!!