Night Shift

Why are you sad? If you can't post it here then find a way to get it out, over the phone or write it down in some way, for some purpose - journaling or a letter (you might not want to send the letter!)

are you having trouble with your husband? i certainly gather that he loves you, it seems - i get that 'vibe', so that's good. my succulents all love me enormously so i feel pretty good about that 🙂

Dear @PeppiPatty,

A big hug to squeeze out your sadness. You have tried hard and repeatedly to accommodate your MIL in your life with your husband. You may still need to see her, though if it was me I would tend to minimise contact. Would anyone be upset if you didn't see your MIL as much?

My partner has a close relationship with his mother that's mostly independent of me. We rarely even speak on the phone, but we send good wishes to each other via my partner. We live a long distance from apart but when we see each other every couple of years or so, we are friendly. Similarly, I have my own relationship with my mother and phone her and visit her without my partner. Maybe it's not really necessary for you to have such a regular relationship with your MIL.

You mentioned rumours and I worry about what my MIL says about me because I sense that she really doesn't approve of me in many ways. The rumours you are describing are much worse than what I'm sensing though and, again, I would instinctively withdraw from that.

Many good thoughts from forumites about your problem. Sending another hug and and hope you are feeling better by the time you read this.

What do you mean 'can you be my friend'? I hope I don't come across as completely contrary. If I do then I'm sorry.

Funny you should mention that: there is a rule in my family that i am always wrong (although if i confronted them with it they would say that i was wrong about that). There is another rule in my family that no matter how amazing my achievements (and my achievements have been EXTRAORDINARY, not that i want to talk about my failures ... ) - no matter how amazing my achievements, the rule in my family is that I am cr*p. other rules in my family is that i know nothing in my chosen field of expertise although i am award-winning in it, and i have no perspective on the australian culture although i have lived oveseas extensively and none of them have lived overseas at all. they're dysfunctional and they do my head in. unfortunately, they press all my buttons and when i am living in this country i tend to fall into pretty lousy (and stupid) patterns of relating to them and the rest of the general populace - not that there is any 'smart' way to interract with this culture!

oh no myfriend @PeppiPatty talk to me

Sorry, that was an arrogant statement i made about the australian culture ... but it is cr*p. a VERY aggressive culture is how i find it, and very frustrating.

PeppiPatty, i just read your blog posts back to myself and it does seem that your husband is on to a pretty good thing and perhaps doesn't pull his weight in the relationship. at the end of the day men rely on women far more than the other way around. i do hope you are taking care of yourself and self-nurturing. i have yet to meet a man who knew how to properly appreciate his women, although many of them try. do take care of YOU, whether your man is around or not. best wishes and god bless 🙂