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STORMGRL101Senior Contributor
After another dissociation episode last week at my new psychologists office which ended up me going to hospital and staying a few days I just feel sooo depressed and scared. I really really want to end my life and tonight my care worker is coming to see me at home. I really want to be honest with her and show her my plan but I'm scared of what she will do or say. Im tired of this mess I'm sick of feeling this way 😭
In response to: Scared depressed
Bubbles3Senior Contributor
hi @STORMGRL101
im sorry that you are feeling this way
are you scared of going back into hospital
In response to: Re: Scared depressed
QueenieSenior Contributor
I'm sorry to hear this @STORMGRL101. I think you should be honest with your worker and let them know how you are thinking and feeling. Remember, we're all here to support you too.
In response to: Re: Scared depressed
STORMGRL101Senior Contributor
Thanks @Queenie @Bubbles3
i think i will be honest with her because she's the only one who I know I can tell anything to in regards to my mental health. I feel like a terrible person. I've got the how, the where just not the when..yet. I need help
In response to: Re: Scared depressed
Bubbles3Senior Contributor
In response to: Scared depressed
Unknown userMember
Hi @STORMGRL101
It is frightening when depression hits so hard. Please know you are not alone in this. I am glad your care worker is coming to see you - support at the right time. Don't be scared to tell her how you are feeling as suppressing it will not get you the help you need. Even tell her you are scared of what she may say or do. She will do what is best and will get you through this dark period. Trust her.
Hang on my friend - moment to moment as depression can lift and there is hope. Always hold onto the latter as it will see you through to better times. We are here for you 🌹
In response to: Scared depressed
NatalieSSenior Contributor
Sending kind thoughts your way @STORMGRL101
Please believe @Former-Member @Bubbles3 @Queenie and myself, we are here to support you. Please tell your care worker how you feel-I realise this can be terrifying as when I'm feeling cr...p I tend to put on a smiling face and say everything's just peachy because I don't want anyone to know how much I'm hurting-because she wants to assist you. She will not judge.
Have to go now as I need to call a counsellor..but I am thinking of you. Lots of virtual hugs.
In response to: Re: Scared depressed
STORMGRL101Senior Contributor
Thanks for the support
it went ok, she is going to talk to the psychiatrist and book me in for review and look at doing ECT. She thinks i need something else as well as psychology and I've tried lots of medications but it's not helping.
i hope I can get an appointment asap
In response to: Re: Scared depressed
Phoenix_RisingSenior Contributor
It sounds like telling your care worker was a good decision for you @STORMGRL101. I super hope that your treatment team are able to figure out how best to help you with the depression.
I am curious about your comment that you feel like a terrible person. What makes you think you are a terrible person? You don't need to answer if you don't want to. 
In response to: Re: Scared depressed
QueenieSenior Contributor
I've had ECT and found it really helpful @STORMGRL101. It sounds scary, I know, but it works for some reason. It worked miracles for me and I've seen help so many. I'm sure your treating team want what's in your best interests and want to support you in your journey to recovery.
In response to: Re: Scared depressed
STORMGRL101Senior Contributor
@Phoenix_Rising I feel like a terrible person for wanting to die to escape this hell that I am in when there are people who lose their lives due to tragedy who deserve to still be alive. And also it would hurt my family very much.
@Queenie If you don't mind me asking have you had ect as an outpatient? Also how long after you started did you see results?
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Help us push aside the stigma and discrimination surrounding complex mental health and change the way people talk about, and care for, mental illness.
SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.
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