Mum Severe Anxiety / Depression +++

Thanks F&H, Darcy, Shaz51, appreciate it. My mum is still in hospital. Thing is they have noticed huge mood swings and are starting to ask questions about her mental health. They put her on antidepressants on admission, a week ago, but now wondering if there's another MH dx that's flown under the radar all these years?? The OT is recommending a psychiatric review and thanked me for being honest with them.
I felt embarrassed because I thought OT said they were wanting to come to the house to assess the house (for mobiity aids) but apparently they asked me for photos - totally forgot that. Bit worried about my own mind atm as forgetting a lotbof things. They thanked me for being so open & honest with them.

To be honest, apart from lacking confidence in a system so dependent on labels and pharmaceuticals, I'm feeling guilty that I may have told them too much. What good will a label & extra drugs do anyway (drugs that my ma will refuse to take anyway) ? What am I trying to talk (in between faceplanting lol), oh year, the hospital are 'onto it' and keeping her longer to assess. She's getting her fight back & causing trouble.
Mum packed it in during a visit with the OT, doing a little test like a 'mini mental' - mum called it 'a game' and refused to finish it aggressively. Shes made up her mind the OT was a psychiatrist under cover trying to lock her up... Doesntvhelp that sad told her someone rang wanting to know what he hadvin the house (I thoughtvit might be the OT (re shower - toilet railings etc. )

Mum was rude to me at the hospital again, I had to go to toot to have a cry again. Thing is, the nurses heard mum going off at me, ablivious to them around, the OT said many have expressed concwer

I feel Tawn - do I continue being

Gotta takw dad to Dr tomorrow re shouldn't be driving, and I'm afraid I'm gonna be seen as the badly. But its so dangerous! Dad lacks capacity +++

Just found out the problems faced now one, possibly two parent are lacking mental capacity - without a will.

Its hard enough getting this house tidy.

Ooo, its 2am and mums dog just jumped up on my bed & curled up in a ball. for 1st time since I came.

Hey @Former-Member
So much to think of, no wonder you are exhausted. Continue to think of you
Hope dog brings you some comfort.

Sounds like you're bringing Dog some comfort too @Former-Member.

Thanks guys..
When I went to leave mum today - she said an hour isnt long enough, i said "i have a doctors apt" she said "well f### off then!". I said " did u just tell me yo F off?!" "Well, i dont want you to go yet she said" She grabbed her bags of dirty washing for me I kissed her goodbye. At least I didn't have to run to the toilet crying this time.

I to Dr. Dad needs pain killers put back in his blister pack, and regular laxativei drove dad there, but strange - he refused his wheel chair - preferring the walking stick for a change. Then he got 1/2 way & had to sit down - refused to go any further. Said "the drs, they're all bloody idiots Anyway" Same attitude as mum. Mum doesn't want dads mental health / cognitive capacity assessed. I had a cry with the Dr about it all, he said he can't do anything without seeing dad himself - But looked him up and there's some problem blood results from a month ago they have been trying to get dad to come in for review (kidney sugar). Mum hasnt told me this, but dad refused to go in with way - paranoid of authority of having rights taken, Frightened of being put into care. DAd. I visited mum in hospital just before the doctor, for an hour. The Dr was my reason for rushing off with dad - because I had an apointment. Didn't tell her I was trying to get dad in as she's / they've convinced each other this could be a bad too thing.

I went in for my apt at least. BP 175/89; with swollen feet he wants to up one of my 2 BP meds grr - but not before doing bloods. My phone kept ringing while I was with the doctor, I had to switch it off - it was mum. When i leave the receptionist says *I didn't know you were L#### S#### daughter. "She just rang me to see if your dad went into the doctor with you. Told her he waited outside" I was cranky that I left without help for dad - paranoia and NOBODY listening or able to hear my sideways cries for help. I'm crying again just recalling it all here. BUT trying the hospital social worker, and mum's palliative care community nurse. I mssed their return calls today grr. Feeling so alone now.

Its 8:56pm (when started here), my feet are killing me, and pain in lower back. neck, is so draining 😞 i just said goodnight and dragged myself to bed, only to have dad call out "I can't turn the TV off" i'm not use to having to get up every time I sit down. Told him I'll get up soon.

When we got home 5:30pm I firmly prompted him to change before tea (he was incontinent wet through everything). I stayed afar, keeping an eye out, all I ended up having to help him with was finding his bed shorts when he looked lost for a bit. Sometimes its like he he cant think of he next step. I know its harder for him to do it for himself than me, but important he does, for him... I checked on him a few times, reminded him not the go to bed yet but to come out for tea soon (7pm - food is a major draw card / motivator lol). He can dress himself mostly, when we all have the time. Some days he can't undo his shoes but will say / call out if he needs help. The shower nurses rush and do everything for him.

Eventually poor dad emerged from his 'freshening up' for tea, looking much brighter. He staggered in gripping the furniture and jokingly said, with a big child-like grin, "I eventually made it, hahaha" I asked if he felt better for his effort, he said "yes, much better actually"

My sister said on the phone earlier today "he's just b' lazy" They, my siblings, are so ignorant & judgemental to physical disability and cognitive decline. Accept maybe older bro with MS maybe, he was is a bad way when i saw him last w'end.

Think i'll give up trying to do mums legals, focus on their physical care. That's more than enough demandvl on me I think, shell have to use someone else. NMP!!! Yes, an inheritance would be helpful - but only if I live till then.

Rang my x2 Bosses today, to extend my leave indefinitely re sick parents. Felt sad after (now I'm tearing again). Another loss i guess. Not fair. But how could I not????

@Former-Member

My aged care provide support but your mum or dad would need to give consent to discuss them. You might be able to get general info 1800 200 422

https://www.myagedcare.gov.au/getting-started

I saw some 'elastic shoe laces' that turn lace up shoes into slip ons and got some for an elderly friend who had shoelaces far too long for his dress shoes. Will try and post a picture of them.

@Former-Member
Adding a picture with mobile is tricky but @Teej taught me. You have to ask the internet to convert you display to 'desktop' thenbfolliw the prompts as if u were using desktop.
- go to home page
- swipe down and 3 dots appear in Rt corner. Top them for dropdown
- select "request desktop site"
- tap little landscape picture on toolbar and follow prompts to select or upload your photo / pic
Good Luck!

Wonderful progress today. Talked to the social worker re help for mum when discharged from hospital. They have Discharge packages for that includes up to 4hrs a week for 6wks of whatever service you select. Also referred me to a Catholic service "hoarding & squallar" where professionals come in to help declutter. Wow

I need to look at 'my aged care' thanks Darcy. It really is an awful lot to take in. Mum has discovered there's DVA help for her as well, wow!

Mum burst into tears several times today. She thanked me for helping (wow) I said, I hope I'm doung something helpful. She was shocked and said "I'd be nothing without you" Wow. Helps. Dads nor so positive. Asked mwvtjis j RNING when I was gonna set fire to that heads f hair of yours" grr

Lovely to see you @Appleblossom. I love your levele do have to not take things personal. You are inspirational too. Sorry you've been in crisis, that sucks! Hope you can access supports.
Take care, thanks,.