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My mental health respite

My mental health respite

So, I wanted to share with you my respite away from home that I'm hoping will unstuck the stuck me, and reset my neurological pathways to a different outlook. This place, in the burbs of Perth is a little haven of homeliness and gentle care. There's a small number of people here of various diagnoses, and we share rooms with same sex. So there's 2 other ladies in my room. It's a large home, and essentially you have to care for yourself. No one makes you do anything you don't want, but if you want to chat about life, your MI and get some perspective & guidance, there's nurses here 24/7. Obviously, you have to hand over your meds, and no drugs and alcohol are permitted.

The head nurse is a DBT Guru, something that @CheerBear, @Pheonix_Rising & @Zoe7 would love to have a natter with. He's very perceptive but gently proves and before i knew it, Id told him everything (well, a scaled down version). He said I was holding so much stress, more than most, and was surprised how 'normal' I presented. He recognised my recent high levels of anxiety, and how that was impacting my inability to feel comfortable with change.

I've been here since Friday afternoon. Saturday I had an anxiety meltdown, and thought it was nuts being here, and I was probably better to admit myself to hospital as I was very intent on doing major harm to myself. A phone call to my case manager set me right, plus a prn, and essentially riding out the storm. Sunday was a better day, where I walked to get a paper, stopped for a coffee, and also stopped at a greengrocer. Dinner was a communal affair on this night, and although conversation was minimal, it was nice to be among others. I haven't made any buddies here, as I've essentially kept to myself. But I took a walk yesterday with a patient & nurse, and I repeated the walk on my own today.

So I've agreed to be here until next Monday, as going home on the weekend could bring me undone. It's the time I feel most lonely and despair, and when my impulses to SH are highest. Every day I will do a little work with one of the nurses on DBT stuff especially interpersonal skills and distress tolerance skills.

The really great thing is I can come back here anytime things get unbearable & hospital isn't a option. And I can call the nurses if I'm distressed or in crisis as they know my history. It's good to have another support option. There is only two places like this in Perth. It's a shame there's not more.

I'll back with an update tommorrow.

@outlander @Faith-and-Hope @Former-Member

69 replies

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In response to: My mental health respite

Re: My mental health respite

Wow great work @Sans911! Your really starting to get your life back on track. I was worried about you going home and how things were going to pan out. Im glad they have worked out with your housemate. Lets hope it stays like it.
Sailing!? New one. Thats great!

I know you had a shocking night. I hope that your able to manage some sleep through the day ❤ take care of yourself just as you do for others ❤❤

In response to: My mental health respite

Re: My mental health respite

@Sans911. Sounds like your talk with your flatmate went well. Thank you for caring enough to push her with Centrelink. Pride or not - centrelink is there to help & people must pay their bills.
Well done on a great retreat. Sounds like your depression has been pushed to the background as you put in a lot of effort to get back and do things you enjoy or try new things. I see you being successful in creating more peaceful times for yourself. Enjoy.

In response to: My mental health respite

Re: My mental health respite

@utopia Thank you. Yes, my depression has shifted from a very bad place, and I'm doing everything I can to not go back there. I was writing my Will the last 2 weeks! But to be completely honest, I'm terrified of slipping back. My case manager tells me I am pre-emptive and she's right. But it's been a hell of a time in the last 12 months and 2years since my breakdown & diagnosis. I know people have depression sometimes for years or decades, and my road to recovery is still many years ahead of me, and I've not even started the hard work that may really undo me yet again!

The thought of spending years in recovery is scary, as I no longer have a sense of place on the world. Everything I know has been stripped away, and everything that seemed so certain is uncertain.

I appreciate your optimism in me @utopia; I just wish I could feel that for myself.

In response to: My mental health respite

Re: My mental health respite

👋 💜💕 🌸🌼🌹 ☕🍰 @Sans911

In response to: My mental health respite

Re: My mental health respite

@Sans911 ❤💌🕊❤

In response to: My mental health respite

Re: My mental health respite

@Sans911 - my optimism comes from my experiences with depression. Last year I was in hospital for a month - then I worked hard with my therapist & I got a life back. Different to before, but still good.
This year feels like 6 months of severe depression. Multiple hospital stays again. Now I'm home. I'm not 'cured' - but my anti depressants are working. They take away the sharpness, the severity of the depression. We are still adjusting the medications for the anxiety, but it too settles down from time to time.
I'm back seeing my psychologist every fortnight. Trying to work on me. It's hard. I'm not seeing the same results I saw last year. But I'm better than I was in April, May, June, July & August of this year.
I wish for you what I have been given. A chance to numb the depression or scare it away. And more moments of listening to the birds sing, feeling the breeze on your skin, feeling the warmth of the sun & sitting in peace.

In response to: My mental health respite

Re: My mental health respite

💐💜💕 @Sans911 .....

So good to hear you talking like this @utopia ..... and I am thrilled the stay-over with your son went ahead okay.

🤗

In response to: Re: My mental health respite

Re: My mental health respite

Hi @utopia

It does seem as if life - as uncertain as it is - is improving for you now and I am so glad to read that

You have had depression for a long time - and anxiety - the world must seem better now but I understand your fear of slipping back and I don't know if that is pre-emptive as in the case that you might make that happen - rather a sense of reality - yes - that has happened

But I think it rather that you keep that in mind as a strong point in not having that happen again and you know your triggers and you know what works for you

I think of you often - and know your weather is my weather also - spring can be so lovely in Melbourne when it choses to be

I hope this well-being continues to increase - life finding joy in the small, transient things - which is my meme

Dec

In response to: My mental health respite

Re: My mental health respite

Thank you @Owlunar. Yes it was @Sans911 who wrote about the fear of falling backwards. But it's definitely something I can relate to.
I might be having a good or okay day and then the anxiety hits and I start panicking that I'm going to crash again.
Logically I know I have the hospital to go to if this happens. I just have to get there earlier this time.
I don't think my hormones are helping. Hot flushes. Sweating in bed. Waiting for a period to show up. Or not. Peri Menopause is not fun. Where are these psychiatrists who can link our hormones with our moods. These two conditions need to be managed together.

In response to: Re: My mental health respite

Re: My mental health respite

Hi @utopia

Menopause has to be a dirty word - no one seems to want to use it - no one wants to have it - ah - the memories

I remember the hot flushes and itchy skin most - I told my mother and she said

"Huh!! - that's nothing - I used to just let it pass"

"Not what I remember Mum" - I actually said that once but did not go and tell her that she ran around the house - flinging up the windows and letting the cold wind rush through the house in the middle of winter - blaming the rest of us - including Dad and her mother - while we sat shivering

But then - everyone's experience is different - I had HRT - I know you have very sensitive skin so patches would be difficult for you - I found them to be so also - and the tablets gave me headaches - it is a real problem - but I went on and had implants under my skin every year or so - it's expensive unless it is covered by medical insurance but I was working then and it worked for me - and it's the easiest way I think - but as I said - everyone is different

You are right about the doctors though - the ones that treat your MH are not gynos - so what is a real necessitity is a specialist who practises with females - hormones and MI - after all - they affect each other

It is pretty obvious that women present more with emotional discomfort - whatever the cause - than men - maybe men find it harder but yes - when I have been in the Melbourne Cinic - overwhelmingly more women - when I went for an operation I saw the chalkboard with the day's operations - women with women's operations - I has having a cervical suture to help me complete my only successful pregnancy - and the rest of the list but one were women - one man out of - sheesh I was dopey with the pre-med and I think it was maybe 15 women - and even here

I am glad to see the men here - really - so glad some of the borders are being broken down - but still - mostly women - and this has to be a lot to do with our hormones - from puberty onwards women have their darned hormones -

I had surigcal menopause when I was in my 40s - so long ago I sorta forget about it until someone reminds me but women have their periods for so many years - and then the menopause and our bones are at risk more along with so many other disorders along with aging - and men do too

But I am glad the men are coming forward in Mental Health Issues - they might seem invulnerable but they are not -

Let's love our men in a sisterly way -

And I have gone off topic - but I mean well - I think it's time I had something to eat and caught up some tidying up around here

So I do wish you the best Utopia - and I wonder how you can find a specialist one women's hormones and MI in the public system - or the private system for that matter

Catch up later

Dec

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