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Unknown userMember
Just been in bed,I had to get up I'm severely distressed with emotional pain .Went for a 12 km walk tonight,kept stopping with the sick feeling the world would be better place without me.
Haven't had it this bad for a while,but feel that after 5 years of struggling this,gone through therapy etc,it's hopeless.
I don't know how I can ever be happy and believe that there should be euthanasia for people like me.
In response to: Emotional pain
outlanderSenior Contributor
In response to: Re: Emotional pain
Unknown userMember
Survived another day @Former-Member,lol or cry.
Had to take my mother for a CT scan,have to take her back tomorrow because the radiologist rang and said he didn't get a clear enough scan.It's not good news,which we knew,she's got compressed disks in her lower spine, some of the bones are on top of each other which is her decline past few months.
I am struggling with her confusion and memory loss the repeated questions that I have already told her the answers to several times.
@Sans911and@outlander,sorry I haven't replied to your post mentioning me today and past few days,been busy or too much chaos in my head with anxiety.
Did get a phone call this afternoon for a job interview Friday with a Supermarket I have applied for a number of times, casual .I'm worried because (1) if I'm capable of handling pressure (2)that I have no confidence (3)how to handle people with my social depression (4)Getting depressed when I don't get the job as well as handling my anxiety on Friday during the interview which makes you look incapable.
If I got the job,it would give me hope,but I have trouble handling people,I have hid away from the world due to mental illness and the way I have been traumatized by people in my life.Worried how I will handle people ,even seeing those who have caused distressed.I remember 6 years ago when I started having trouble,the stressed caused by one B**** where I worked.I came home and curled up crying on the floor for hours,when I look back that was a breakdown.
I don't know if I have the energy for people,afraid I will fail,and feel worse about myself failing to get the job or getting the job.Plus my mother is getting worse but would be better off with a job as I know she only needs a bad fall and will end up in the nursing home.
In response to: Re: Emotional pain
outlanderSenior Contributor
@Former-Member 
no apologise necessary
you have to focus on yourself as well ok . Dont worry about it at all. Ive rarely left my thread either. Expanded out abit today but will retract soon enough.
Im sorry your going through all this I really am. Has your mother got dimentia? Or early onset?
Are they able to do anything for your mother and her situation with her spine?
Ok well about your job interview, just do your best. Itll get you out of your house for a little while youll be able to learn new skills and build upon that confidence. All you can do is do your best ok.
These people are strangers to you and dont have to know anything at all about you. Its just life conversation hi how are you going then they leave. You answers can just be simple but polite.
Your stuck with the carers situation arent you, your not able to apply through centrelink for carers?
You should be able to get some home care support for both yourself and your mother even if its only a few hours a day. Have you considered a nursing home? I know thats a really hard topic so dont answer if you dont want to ok
sending all the love and courage i can muster up for you
In response to: Emotional pain
Sans911Senior Contributor
In response to: Re: Emotional pain
Unknown userMember
I will come back to your thread in a minute @outlander,you know I'm on a medical certificate which runs out next week when I see the Dr Friday week.The carers pension would take the stress of the pressure from Centrelink to job search a number of jobs .The past three weeks,applied for one,that's all there was on the websites, Centrelink wants 10 a month.The way it is is my mother,I'm highly strung because of health both mentally and physically.The carers problem-She only needs to fall bad and she will need to go to the nursing home.She is overweight, couldn't do it.She is getting cantankerous with me now.Id be better with a job.The only thing is it's 25 minutes away and they only want me 4 hrs a day during the week but full days weekends.But I'd be happy to get back into the workforce.
It's handling people @Sans911,I seem to make enemies easy .Mum and I were sitting having coffee this afternoon, the neighbors came in.Met them 12 months ago and the wife was all over me like a rash,today she gave us a look like we were from another planet.Dont know if she's listened to gossip such as me telling that women off few weeks ago for being nosy or what.You try not to let people get to you,but can't help it especially when you don't have nothing to do with them or done nothing to deserve that cold reception.Small towns @Sans911.
And yes,had some at work who felt inferior.Had one Filipino who was a"friend" until she put me down one two many times,worked out it was her inferiority.Pathetic
In response to: Re: Emotional pain
AppleblossomSenior Contributor
@Former-Member
Good Luck at interview if you choose to go. One way I managed anxiety about interview was to imagine it as a practise, but throw myself into it.
Handling people is difficult for most people. One of the good things about being in the zoo and dealing with wide range of public I am getting the hang of the range of interactions out there. Often other workers can support each other if customers are just rude or demanding, and then there others who might just like a moment of human connection with you. Certainly dont take all pear shaped situations as your fault. Try and be helpful, have a go, but also let go of icky things. I cant handle too much of that kind of stress so I keep it limited each month so I can process it, handle it and still like doing my job. It is only volunteer though.
Personally I am quite fond of my supermarket ladies. There are 3 at the local who have seen my level of distress through body language rather disclosure, but over time it has become light & chatty and Yes kept me supporting the little guy in supermarkets becasue of the good customer service.
DO what you have to do. 
I like the idea of you going bush for sanity. Totally get that one.
In response to: Emotional pain
outlanderSenior Contributor
In response to: Re: Emotional pain
Unknown userMember
Thanks @Appleblossom,I'm going.In relation to people ,as stated past few months I have to avoid people I know due to it triggering depression and anxiety.I am very hypersensitive to people's comments,I blame it on trauma since childhood when people old and young would have to comment on my weight.Now it's the shame of stuffing up,long term mental illness and unemployment.
Im worried how I can cope with stress, especially after my anxiety past few days,and my anxiety has meant I've been in flight mode from people.
In response to: Re: Emotional pain
Unknown userMember
In response to: Re: Emotional pain
Unknown userMember
Can't find words, but know I care 💜💜💜
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Help us push aside the stigma and discrimination surrounding complex mental health and change the way people talk about, and care for, mental illness.
SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.
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