BUBBLES WORLD :)

My eyes close
I'm holding onto
my memories
and hatred.
my slumber
all alone in my head...
so silent.

I can't explain the way
my tears run blood along my veins
if I let go of my pain
I'll cease to be, give into the plague...

war is coming,
I can hear it in my heart
blood will flow
along the grounds of the innocent,
I can't deceive
the darkness anymore...
I'm letting go, I'm losing control of myself...

you beat me down,
so low and now
I'm crying my soul
I'm losing control.
you led me to
a place where I
can't feel my face...

death is just an anesthetic
for what's to come
a body left behind with no face
feeling numb
all alone I cry here
fading into nothing
all alone I lie here
dying...

...losing myself...

The Demons Inside

I've been fighting my demons for 18 years,
And I've run out of energy to fight.
The sun may be shining outside of this room
But in my soul it's night.
At times I've imagined I'd come out on top
Of the Demons inside of my head.
And in a way I suppose I WAS winning the fight
If I hadn't, by now I'd be dead.
But now the dark clouds have regathered,
And I've lost my last semblance of hope.
Fear and despair have erased it,
And without it there's no way to cope.
My life has no purpose or meaning
There's nothing inside me but fear.
Fear over whether I'll continue
To find life so dark and drear
Because, I'm afraid if this goes on,
There will be only one last path left
And if, in my weakness I take it
I doubt anyone will be bereft…

so today

i have an appointment with the MH team.

NOT LOOKING FORWARD TO IT

i know they are going to bully me into things that i dont want to do.

i know they are going to upset me and probably make me cry

a psychiatrist and 2 social workers are goig to be in there, because apparently im abuseive and agressive, which im not. i just dont like being told what what i have to and dont i cant do.

i hate them so much

i was discharged from them a few months ago because i didnt like what they had to say and they didnt like what i had to say either.

the MH team aare meant to help you , not treat you like sh*t

one of the social workers that i dealt with before has already treated me like sh*t on the phone. and i just cant handle it.

today im taking a an older friend, and im going to say she is my mum, otherwise i know they wont let her in with me if they know she is just a friend.

and this is what i mean, im alowed to take my 'mum' in but not a friend

its disgraceful. the whole system is a load of sh*t.

there not there to help you.

iv already een told o the phone i have to do things there way or i wont be excepted.

im so stressed out about it

i have taken lots of ********** calm myself down

(and you cant take that down @Former-Member s coz it could mean chocolate or coffee.... just saying )

i dont know if i can do today

im already stressed out about it

im only going there to see what they have to say and see once again what a bunch of **** they can be.

who knows , it could turn out a different way coz i have brought my 'mum' along with me.

any help or sugestion from anyone would be good

@Former-Member@Former-Member@Shaz51@Faith-and-Hope@Maggie@Bimby2@Sans911@Queenie@soul@BambiFawn@Owlunar@Former-Member@TAB@Neelix@dragonflygirl@Former-Member@Former-Member@Former-Member

someone please talk to me

Hearing you @Bubbles3 .....; 💐💕

This is outside my experience (to date anyway ...)

Juar want to say I hear you ..... sitting with you.

Hugs .....

It's good you have your 'mum' along with you for support.

Hopefully things go your way today @Bubbles3.

Put us all in your pocket today and we'll be there to support you too.

Take Gizmo with you @Bubbles3😉