Taking the plunge

Hi @Maggie ...... 🌹👋

Well .... that sucked ...... could she just not understand the social anxiety ? Couldn’t meet you somewhere quieter ? In a beautiful garden setting maybe, with take-away coffees in hand ??

Hugs n hugs Hon ...... there are people in this world who would meet you in a garden with some take-away coffee ......

@Faith-and-Hope Thankyou.💜💜

Morning @Faith-and-Hope !

@Maggie, obviously she is no friend if she cannot understand,that's why I have none I can confide in.

Stated here yesterday,on my walk a old work friend stopped to talk,but only asked questions which triggered me as I feel like I need to explain my life.And they gossip.Basically said don't feel like talking.Used to go for coffee with her but I cannot and don't want to talk about my life or tolerate their comments.I know I'm hypersensitive but I have my reasons including the fact that you can't confide in them.

Also she sends Xmas cards,which I hate,I might be strange but msg her FB msgenger yesterday asking her not to send one and if they want to Xmas msg to do so on Msgenger.I didn't hear back and I don't care.

They either take you for who you are or they don't @Maggie,and if they lack empathy ,or aren't genuine they aren't worth it.I like going for coffee on my own ,as I can relax.Dont know ,but with friends in the past,you always have to please them,too much effort for me.Lets hope we meet actual friends one day with better qualities.

hello @Maggie

It is so hard when we receive an invitation...are so excited and happy to have been thought of..

then...wham...our mind goes into overdrive...

all of our negative thinking from past experiences ...past patterned thinking takes over...

so we have to deal with anxiety...negative thoughts.....preparation...

we dwell on stuff ...with all of this rubbish going on in our heads...

most times we are unable to make it....we judge ourselves on our past..

yes we do lose friendships....this has happened to me also...

I look at all of the people who are so very busy at this time of the year...that used to be me...

I am worn out before I start doing anything...

depression....grief....loss....anxiety all drain our energy....

then there are the other rare experiences where we actually give ourself some positive talk...not much..we are not very good at it...are also aware of what we are trying to do and feel somewhat fake...

when we manage to get there....if we smile and remember to breathe...we can be pleasantly surprised..

for me though the best times are when they are spontaneous...receive a call and think why not....none of all of that mindless brain chatter having time to take over completely....less fuss about preparation..just cleanliness ...off we go...something very simple can be so very much enjoyable...

then we hear ourselves saying...why dont we do this more often?? we must...

life

so after all of that rambling...I just wanted you to know that all of the head stuff is more common than we think...for me anyway...I thought for years it was just me..

that is another brilliant thing about these forums...I read so many times where others are feeling the same ....

I hope that your blood pressure, medication and nose is sorted out soon so that you can start to feel some relief...

I read that it is a little cooler there? or did I dream that?

take care

@Maggie, this was obviously only an acquaintance (or contact as you called it), and certainly one you can well do without. If it were a friend, they would have been concerned for you and suggested something else. Sounds like it was all about them, without any consideration for you. You are better off without 'contacts' like that.

Of course it hurts however, and I'm sorry it turned out that way. Soon your counsellor will be back and you may be able to do some outings with her to places you feel less stressed. @Faith-and-Hope had some nice suggestions for alternatives, what a shame your 'contact' hadnt considered some of them.

Hugs to you Maggie. And hello also to @Former-Member @Former-Member @Former-Member

Sherry

Hi @Maggie

Sorry to read of what this person did to you when you could not make it in town. Did you tell her you were not well? I have recently had a similar situation with my friend, initially she became angry- more concerned of how it effected her rather than concern over how I was unwell at the time. It wasn't a nice feeling. We worked it out though. It does sound like this person wasn't a real friend. They just don't dump you and walk away that easy. So no great loss my friend.

It would be lovely to meet up with likeminded people who share the same reluctance of crowd situations as we do, somewhere nice and quiet, for a coffee and chat. Wouldn't that be nice? Would you like that? I would love it. I don't know how I manage it but apparently my friendships in real life are deep. It doesn't always feel like it but that is probably just me. I like time on my own though, especially t cross stitch. Hope your day gets better for you. ❤️🤗 xx

Hi to @Former-Member@Former-Member@Former-Member@Former-Member@Faith-and-Hope@utopia@TAB and all 😊