Taking the plunge

Yes @CheerBear missing an abusive person has to be as twisted as it gets I think, but it’s all in there. I glimpsed vulnerability sometimes there, and it really tugged at the heart strings. Like the rest of us, a mixture of good and bad.

No day yet for drop off. Once counsellor organises it, then the anxiety will kick in hard and fast it think.

Sure do understand. If one thing hit at a time you might be able to duck the occasional one or two. But they come in groups.

Sorry it’s turned twisted. I imagine untwisting will be tricky.

“ Even if loss is gain” @CheerBear so well put.

Yes, I wish it was over and done with, but counsellor wants to get a reliable police person ( strange thing to say), but some can be questionable. She’s trying to soften the blow, if that’s at all possible.

Untwisting and time are two very annoying, but necessary parts of life. I hope it’s not a long drawn out process.

I really don’t want today @CheerBear . I just hope it disappears somewhere.

Are you going to mow your lawn today? Looking hot here, might be similar in your area.

Morning ladies ..... ☕️💕

Wishing I could sleep more, but I have woken early after being up late, and there is stuff to do ahead of uni start this weel, including finding a new carer for D2 for one of those days ..... so I'm fighting the pull to procrastinate and have taken a baby step in that direction, with multiple responses overnight 😳 ..... so that has already become my day.

Strange to think I was interviewing carers for the first time this time last year ..... feels like a different planet.

@Maggie I am so, so sorry to hear you have grown up in an NPD parent relationship 😥😥😥 ..... it appears WH did too ..... and now our kids ?? ..... but he was very absent, and in a very benevolent role when he was present ..... and apparently if one parent was stable and healthy the kids avoid the worst of it ..... so I am hoping there is an okay future ahead of us somewhere.

I wanted to send you some mega-hugs 💙🧡💜❤️💛💚💗 ..... and tell you that that attachment to someone who hurts you is well and truly front and centre with our baby dragons at the moment ..... and one has clearly been "the golden child" ..... so perhaps that particular attachment will be the hardest to work out .....

So many baby steps unfolding in front of us. Think I am going to need a portable cave to drag along with me to just stop and sit in sometimes.

Hearing you with the big brave stuff you're doing, and I wanted to tell you how proud I am of you ..... so not easy at all, but baby steps are being taken anyway ...., go you ❣️ Self esteem glimpse is gooooood ❣️

Yea to the rock and see ya later @CheerBear . Sorry you are feeling it also. Life have a way of sucking the life out of us.

Yes, I’ve hear about the people in blue. Not looking forward to a trip to the station, for sure.

Last Saturday we had high humidity , not normal down this way. I was useless, it was like a depression, but in a different kind of way. Take care out there in the heat, 30 is very hot to be mowing in. Can you wait till the sun goes down, or do you do it when the mood takes you.

@CheerBear this sort of humidity was very new to me when we moved here .... so different to the dry west .... and I suspect it was the trigger for a health episode that put me in hospital overnight a couple of years ago now. I hadn't been drinking enough ..... added to being blindsided by our pdoc-backed move east ..... sigh.

Good luck with the mowing jungle, and minding the humidity. .... and with twisty stuff.

@Faith-and-Hope I’ve never though of having a portable cave, but what a great idea.

I’m reading along with you and yours, living it all out, but in a different way.

I don’t feel brave at all @Faith-and-Hope , I feel more pushed than brave. I was given no choice. I guess in another twisted kind of way, she made the choice herself. I ask myself why a accept emotional abuse more readily than I do physical. I know too well the depth of the scares. It’s the unseen maybe. The seen will be believed.

I’m sending megs hugs back. Hopefully we can do this... hopefully ❤️💙💜💛💚

I hear you with the "pushed and given no choice" @Maggie. It's all over us at the moment, but there can also be a pushed-too-far .... where others step up and start making changes that the controlling one hadn't bargained on ..... and methinks you're doing that, however shakily, and maybe portable caves should be a marketable thing ......

Methinks the latest not-revealed-yet revelation in our corner might just provide the pushed-too-far for a few people involved in our situation.

It will all eventually settle into a new order of things ..... it's the getting there that is going to be hard for quite some time.

I hope it's speedier for you with this latest one.

Hugs ❤️💜🧡💛💙💚💗