MaggieSenior Contributor
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Taking the plunge
10240 replies
In response to: Taking the plunge
MaggieSenior Contributor
Re: Taking the plunge
I just took fur baby for a walk around the block. @CheerBear . We hope to eventually make it to the river, but the block is at least a good start.
I love marmalade, never made it, looks complicated. Oh yes @CheerBear plenty to share with you. I tried a bit myself. A slight tang, but I like it that way. Try some for breaky. 😁😁
Complicated relationships seem the norm @CheerBear at least that’s what my world is like with them. The break has brough big changes in your life. The he person is complicated, take care there, til you know it is what you both want. Not being negative at all, just careful. Don’t be used, though he certainly doesn’t come across like that. I’m feeling protective is all. 💜💜💜
The lady is here for 1 hr @CheerBear , so not too bad. She sounds lovely. I just have to put my pride away.
In response to: Re: Taking the plunge
CheerBearSenior Contributor
Re: Taking the plunge
You have a river close by @Maggie? That's awesome 🙂 Go you getting around the block! Thinking furbaby might be enjoying your new home together ❤
Funny, I thought jam looked too hard so I went with marmalade. Did you use a recipe? I'd love to try some for breakfast!
I smiled thinking of you feeling protective. Thank you 💜 His wife (far out that sounds and feels and is bad 🙁) recently came back from being away and I didn't hear from him for a bit. I started to question whether I was just a shiny new toy and a mistake. I felt sad and weird and full of regret. We spoke again and I don't feel so much like that now. Now it's more a battle of guilt/shame again I guess and big worry that I'm complicating things for myself and others. Silly heart vs brain battle (always a problem for me :face_with_rolling_eyes:). This is not a situation I ever expected or could see myself in. Lots of questions about what I am doing and feeling and why, and feelings of tricky trust and wonky relationships. Alone is easier in lots of ways.
1 hour isn't too bad (though totally not dismissing how big 1 hour is!) and hopefully a good amount of time to get a little used to it without it being too much. It would be hard to put pride aside, though from where I sit I can see pride in knowing you need help and then accepting that. It can a lot of time to really believe that and to undo all the messages and experiences of pride being in pushing on and doing it all yourself. I hope, so much, that this is a helpful experience for you.
I tried something new yesterday. "Blackout poetry". I'm no poet (lol) but really enjoyed giving it a go and finding words I connected with then joining them together with drawings. I went full dark and twisty and it felt good 😆
Funny, I thought jam looked too hard so I went with marmalade. Did you use a recipe? I'd love to try some for breakfast!
I smiled thinking of you feeling protective. Thank you 💜 His wife (far out that sounds and feels and is bad 🙁) recently came back from being away and I didn't hear from him for a bit. I started to question whether I was just a shiny new toy and a mistake. I felt sad and weird and full of regret. We spoke again and I don't feel so much like that now. Now it's more a battle of guilt/shame again I guess and big worry that I'm complicating things for myself and others. Silly heart vs brain battle (always a problem for me :face_with_rolling_eyes:). This is not a situation I ever expected or could see myself in. Lots of questions about what I am doing and feeling and why, and feelings of tricky trust and wonky relationships. Alone is easier in lots of ways.
1 hour isn't too bad (though totally not dismissing how big 1 hour is!) and hopefully a good amount of time to get a little used to it without it being too much. It would be hard to put pride aside, though from where I sit I can see pride in knowing you need help and then accepting that. It can a lot of time to really believe that and to undo all the messages and experiences of pride being in pushing on and doing it all yourself. I hope, so much, that this is a helpful experience for you.
I tried something new yesterday. "Blackout poetry". I'm no poet (lol) but really enjoyed giving it a go and finding words I connected with then joining them together with drawings. I went full dark and twisty and it felt good 😆
In response to: Re: Taking the plunge
MaggieSenior Contributor
Re: Taking the plunge
@CheerBear Blackout poetry sounds really interesting. I looked up the craft you talked about yesterday. Some really lovely things there. I write songs @CheerBear . Sometimes it’s the only way I can get out how I’m feeling. Black poetry might be similar I think. It gets stuff out of your head, where it’s tangled and twisted and black, very black.
I can feel guilty talking about my dark stuff. I feel like I drag others down with me, it’s strange how we get trained. It’s part of the invisible unworthy stuff. Deep twisted, but very important stuff.
Sure did use a recipe @CheerBear, me and the kitchen are not mated, so I go by the book lol. My mother never used a cook book, a bit of this and a bit of that,mit worked for her, not me though. 😂😂
The he stuff is big, but if it’s going to be a positive in the future for both of you, it’s worth the hard work. The guilt/shame I understand. I hope he can end his relationship, it sounds like he wants to. Be careful though, it’s early days. It takes time to get to know someone. You have worked so hard to be where you are now. ❤️❤️❤️ I just care, really care about you. Sigh. Tough stuff.
Yea, one hr is ok. It’s just that I’m always the one who’s been doing for others @CheerBear , it’s tough needing someone to do stuff for me now. Really hard.
In response to: Re: Taking the plunge
CheerBearSenior Contributor
Re: Taking the plunge
I like the way you said "trained" @Maggie. In a way it feels hopeful to think of it like that. While super tricky, it leaves the option of re-training open. It takes practice and courage but it's possible (I believe anyway). Sorry guilt has been part of your training. It has been mine too. I think you're fab - dark, twisty and otherwise. You make delicious jam too, thanks for sharing 😉😁
I totally don't find my place in the kitchen either! We just don't work well together. Kitchen is a place I have to go to and rarely one I want to be in though sometimes we click as it sounds you did yesterday 😊
Thank you big time for caring. I can truly feel it. He's leaving her (has told her that now) and is understandably struggling with that. I'm trying super hard to offer support and not any influence (that's almost impossible as we can all influence just with our presence) and to remind myself this was his plan before I came along (ditch the 'homewrecker' stigma or try to). Alllllll shades of tricky. I just wrote a post on choices and lessons - there's a lot of lessons to be had here. One of the hardest hitting is about judgement and how much I have judged others by saying and thinking "that's not something I'd ever do". I guess we can never truly understand what we'd do until we are in it ourselves. I'm in no place to judge anyone ever, not until I've walked in their shoes (just as you said yesterday 💜) which I'll never do.
I will be thinking of you today. It's really hard to be in that place Maggie where you need others after being the one who has done for others. Really proud of you for accepting that's where you are though.
I better run. Bit of a busy day with collecting and dropping off kids then heading to and from house 2 so I can drop the crew there for the night. I'm going to my gig tomorrow. The first time since I had just arrived at the break place and just came out of hospital. I'm nervous as heck but thinking it's an important step back into things. Avoidance and "too hard" want to kick in. Trying to tell them to go away 😉🤞:face_with_rolling_eyes:
Big ❤
I totally don't find my place in the kitchen either! We just don't work well together. Kitchen is a place I have to go to and rarely one I want to be in though sometimes we click as it sounds you did yesterday 😊
Thank you big time for caring. I can truly feel it. He's leaving her (has told her that now) and is understandably struggling with that. I'm trying super hard to offer support and not any influence (that's almost impossible as we can all influence just with our presence) and to remind myself this was his plan before I came along (ditch the 'homewrecker' stigma or try to). Alllllll shades of tricky. I just wrote a post on choices and lessons - there's a lot of lessons to be had here. One of the hardest hitting is about judgement and how much I have judged others by saying and thinking "that's not something I'd ever do". I guess we can never truly understand what we'd do until we are in it ourselves. I'm in no place to judge anyone ever, not until I've walked in their shoes (just as you said yesterday 💜) which I'll never do.
I will be thinking of you today. It's really hard to be in that place Maggie where you need others after being the one who has done for others. Really proud of you for accepting that's where you are though.
I better run. Bit of a busy day with collecting and dropping off kids then heading to and from house 2 so I can drop the crew there for the night. I'm going to my gig tomorrow. The first time since I had just arrived at the break place and just came out of hospital. I'm nervous as heck but thinking it's an important step back into things. Avoidance and "too hard" want to kick in. Trying to tell them to go away 😉🤞:face_with_rolling_eyes:
Big ❤
In response to: Taking the plunge
Gazza75Senior Contributor
Re: Taking the plunge
Good Morning and HNY @outlander @Maggie @CheerBear @Appleblossom @Former-Member @Faith-and-Hope @Zoe7 @Shaz51 @Owlunar @eth @Bunniekins
My first day back at work and am not really in the groove.
I haven't been round much the last week or two. I needed a bit of down time.
I hope you have all had a safe Xmas and good New Years. It's been a pretty horrid time here on the South coast of NSW with the fires. I am safe, but, the fires are closer and we are pretty much surrounded. My farm is alright, but, very smokey, I had to cut my visit short as it just got to bad.
Its been nice to see and hear of how communities and people are coming together and helping each other, reminds me of the forum life.
Have a great day and take care.
In response to: Re: Taking the plunge
Zoe7Senior Contributor
Re: Taking the plunge
Hey @Gazza75 We all need that down time at different stages buddy and it is great that you both recognised that and took the time for yourself.
It is great to hear you are safe Gazza75 - so much devastation and destruction around the country but as always the AUstralian spirit shines through.
In response to: Re: Taking the plunge
OwlunarSenior Contributor
Re: Taking the plunge
Hi @Gazza75 @Zoe7
We all need dowm-time - I have taken some too - we all need to take time to refresh ourselves in so many ways - in body, mind, spirit and soul
And this year we are all affected by the fires in some ways - and this is a hard start to 2020. The smoke is so bad that the red plume from the smoke was reported so much in New Zealand the emergency authorities were overwhelmed with reports - hard to believe but true that the smoke was reflecting light from the fires so far away -
It's scary for everyone - and it must be really hard Gazza when your own farm is in Southern NSW near these fires and the smoke is so overpowering you had to leave your property - let's hope for more rain and safety for everyone in the area
It was an horrific weekend - I haven't heard anything about the conditions today but we have rain in Melbourne right now and still - it's smoky
For imformation try Emergency.Vic.Gov.Au - I found this site last night and it is imformative and not just for how to cope with the fires - all sorts of emergencies
All the best everyone - it is hard to know how to ask people if they can have a good day - let's try for the best day possible
Dec
In response to: Re: Taking the plunge
BunniekinsSenior Contributor
Re: Taking the plunge
@Gazza75 Hey Gazza75 you have been missed by the pea ..... it is soooo good to see you again :). Happy that yuor farm is okay and that you are safe. Have a good day at work today love peaxxx
In response to: Re: Taking the plunge
Zoe7Senior Contributor
Re: Taking the plunge
We now have the smoke haze over Hobart @Owlunar - around 40 fires in various parts of the state here too but only a few close to homes and communities. Nothing like the mainland though 
In response to: Re: Taking the plunge
OwlunarSenior Contributor
Re: Taking the plunge
Hi @Zoe7
I know there are fires in Tasmania right now but I haven't checked where and this is what I intend to find out about the very next thing I do
You must have smoke from the plume from Victoria and NSW as well - it must make it hard to breathe right now -
It's raining in Melbourne today - and it's pretty cool -
With everything happening I think it's pretty normal that every feels uneasy and tired - we don't have to been in the front line to feel this - just knowing about so much damage over so much of Australia is hard to take
It's great to see you here Zoe and to have your imput
Dec
