Taking the plunge

@CheerBear I read a book recently that said what you have said. In a different kind of way ( maybe ). It talked about our different ages, how we go back there and take on the feeling of the child, teenager adult at times. It went into self care of each stage, that’s when I lost the plot. I understand it with my head, not myself. 😢😢

We are looking at 33 here today. That’s as hot as I’ve ever felt down this way. I have air con, so will be doing a test run I think.

Thanks for the hope holding @CheerBear . I’ll get through it ......eventually.....no other way or I would take it. Done all the dark and dramatic thought processing, doing a little wallowing atm. 😁😁😁

Gosh @Former-Member that’s perfect. Don’t mind if I do pull up a seat, stop and listen.

I guess you are enjoying the cricket these days. Some relaxing time. 👍👍👍

@CheerBear 💙💙💙. A very interesting read by the sound of if.

I’m always amazed/amused by the fact that I am a simple person with a very complex disorder. That being said though, I think all mental conditions, I don’t like disorder as a word, but... they are all complex, confusing, yet understandable. Wow that’s a confusing statement, even if I do say so myself.

Are you being loved by cats atm @CheerBear . Back to the bush? Hope it’s going ok, not normal or fine. Some puppy love when you return there. Crackle of dried grass, ugh. My little patch is green as......grass. No grass police, so I walk on it all the time. 💚💚

I understood the confusing @Maggie. It's simple but not. I call it 'mental health challenges'. Not disorder. Not illness. If anything, I believe it's often (almost always) a response to social illnesses and issues, and argue that attempts to "fix" me/many, with therapies, medications, treatments etc won't fix it because the world is ... ed and that's what needs fixing. I'll hop off the soapbox now 😉

The furry ones are full of love. They've been with us in the bush but I brought them home yesterday. Need two trips with all of them, plus the crew, plus the packing to be away, plus the extra stuff from the 25th. Things there are normal and fine, except for a couple of digs about me not communicating which has been returned by me digging about them not creating a space in which communication can happen. Normal and fine isn't so good. It is what it is though.

I did something that has added to the jumble in my head and I kind of regret it, though part of me doesn't care which makes me feel worse in a way. It's a big and confusing and massively shameful something. I'm down on my supports at the moment with it being the break and holidays, and there's no-one to talk it out with. It's going to get stuck, brewing away. I just wanted to share at least that part of it 😐:face_with_rolling_eyes:😏😔

Your grass made me smile. I'm so glad you have that little spot, safe from any policing 👮‍♂️

Massively shameful made me smile @CheerBear . Not in an awful way, been there done that, kind of understandable, human way. We all do it, we don’t all admit it. Adding to the jumble, brewing and stuck gets tricky though. We are our worst critics.

Try to be kind to yourself, as you would to anyone you were talking with. Hard, I know. 💜💜💜💜 Purple is a healing colour. One of my favourites.

I really like the way you wrote your ‘ mental health challenges ‘. I also agree, social issues. My counsellor has never tried to ‘ fix’ me. Something I truly value deep down inside me. She doesn’t see broken. She see people.

I struggle with wrong and right @CheerBear . Who says it is or is not.

I understand you crossed a line you never thought you would, it gives us even more empathy and understanding. Our values mean the world to us. They represent us, but we are human. Mistakes will happen. How many positive have come from so called mistakes? Leaving more purple. 💜💜💜💜

Thoughts going with you to your ‘ fine and normal’ @CheerBear . Your sorry self is enough, shameful ( the gift that keeps on giving ) won’t be too helpful, but I get how you are feeling. I respect that.

Thankyou also for the coffee and chat. Surprising how quiet unfolds. Gentle squishy hug. 🤗🤗🤗

Hugs @Maggie

Hi @CheerBear

Your talk about shame was interesting. The gift that keeps giving .. huh ... wry sigh!

Still working that one out. Not sure what is my shame and what belongs to other people, or what is shyness or embarrassment or uncertainty. First read about the cycle of poverty and its relation to shame, but now reflecting on the religious confusions and what is the moral aspects of it. Take Care both of you.