Taking the plunge

hello @Former-Member

so pleased to read that you are feeling better....

as for myself ....no ...I have mastered being fine for the majority of my life...kicks in automatically..autopilot I think it is referred as...

I am holding on tight here...

like you I have to be strong for my husband and my YS....they have been through more than enough ..

we do this don't we...we put our loved ones above us...

where are we in this picture? @Former-Member

I say to you the words I need to say to myself....

I cannot be everything for everyone all of the time....

@Maggie @Former-Member @Former-Member

matriarchs is the word that springs to mind....

please do not be insulted or see it as an ageing adjective...

I am finding myself more and more apologising for my words...

good grief...I am finally finding my voice...speaking up..whether anyone is listening or not in most cases..

better that I not try to explain....I think that from past experience I just dig myself deeper..

to be perfectly honest I am a very deep person...even my psychiatrist responded with yes you are very deep....

so no small wonder that most people I have met in my life do not really get me...

my husband loves me...he is very true to himself...this helps tremendously..there are moments though where ....hmmm...how can I expect anyone to get me seriously...

@Maggie your words vibrate through me...I feel so much for your past experiences...I feel your presence now even more....a strong spiritual side...you have suffered and come out of the other side....

I am not able to express this properly...

someone else might be able to help..

respond in your time @Maggie...I did not mean to disrespect you in expressing our needs.....this is about you...

Dear @Former-Member

lovely that you think of us all on here..

we all appreciate your kindhearted thoughts..

I am aware that @Maggie was here long before I arrived ...you were helping each other

@Former-Member@now is not the time for you to be concerned about me...

much has happened to you...rest needed..

daughter also coming to terms with her health..

you are a wonderful mum and will get through this period..

to be able to tell us all about it after...

still acknowledging that the road is not always easy..

@Maggie

think that you might be reading......

are you ready to just say hello and sit with us yet?

@Former-Member@Former-Member@Former-Member I'm reading and you are all doing such a beautiful job of caring for each other and me, all I can say is Thankyou. There's so much I wish I could say but things are very difficult atm. Getting a voice is very important @Former-Member it was @Former-Member who helped me to post and keep on posting, finding my voice. Keep talking, I will be back as soon as I get an energy boost. The warmest thoughts to you all.🙃🙃🙃🙃

@Maggie @Former-Member @Former-Member

Sending you all warm thoughts...

I am weary too..🌸🌺🌼🌻🌷🐘🐾

So true @Former-Member - it is just physically impossible to be there for everyone. With me then i have to prioritise - who needs me the most at that time? Whether that be in my real life or on-line. And where do my loyalties lye? I usually put mhself last @Former-Member, unless i burn out. Thats me in a nutshell.

Recently i had to cancel a day out at a Melbourne Cup function with my best friend because i had burnt out being there for everyone. She got cranky at me and i was hurt by it. She said, you have to have time for you, stop doing so much!! She misses me and she felt let down. I felt awful, but my daughger husband, volunteer work and people on here are coming first to me before outings. Thats where my loyalties lyes, as it would be with her when she is in need. Its not about me. I just need to feel appreciated and needed otherwise i can be disheartened. But it does not usually last long. And my own mental scars can hold me back sometimes, thats when i reaffirm and hold onto trust in a good outcome again - and this will bring me out of depression to move forward again.

Hope you and @Maggie get some rest. I know weary. Then doi g what is necessary to recharge our batteries again is a priority. Could your meds be making you feel tired @Maggie? Sitting with you my friend as we will get through this together. Talk when you are ready. I hope you are not feeling overwhelmed (that is what can tire me and bring me down). I am here for you my sister, just tag anytime you need to voice anything whether that be words, a simple gesture, pic or song. Perhaps pull another one out of your box - they are magic. 💞

Hi @Former-Member - Have a wonderful time getting your hair done. A relaxing time that will give you a lift. Both yourself and daughter need time to adjust to daughters health scare. The right medical treatment and taking time to destress, may settle her condition in time with things going back to feeling like normal. Hold that vision. Hope you get some good rest this evening. Hugs 💗

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@Bella wrote:
@Former-Member
Wrong Bella I think you mean @Former-Member?

Love & Hugs
Bella xo 🙂

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Sorry @Former-Member

I was on my husbands iphone, much smaller print 😉 lol. But while you are here how are you?