Taking the plunge

Hi back to you @Gazza75 @Maggie @Former-Member and everyone.

💜💖🌺🌸

Things are going really wrong here with D and I.

I’m losing her. I’ve lost her friendship

Sorry to sound so negative.

But without her, I have no one.

She’s so disappointed in me and I don’t have the strength to change. It’s all too much.

She doesn’t understand. No one understands CPTSD unless they’ve had it themselves.

Who would choose to be like this

Hi @Former-Member ,

I am sorry you feel that you are losing your daughter.

It must be a lot to deal with on top of everything else.

I think it is diffucult for people to understand CPTSD and more so for younger people like your daughter.

She might be disapointed, but, you are her mum and she still loves you.

I tend to agree with Sherry's suggestiont he other day of trying to make her part of the solution and plan. You need her help to get through this. I know she has issues and you don't want to pressure her, but, you can't shelter her from everything and I can't see anyone in a better position to assist you.

It takes a lot of courage to admit when we're not strong enough to do something and also to reach out for help.. especially to family. Maybe you can talk it through with a medical professional and having the message come from someone else might help her be more understanding and compassionate.

Please don't think i'm telling you what to do. I've no experience dealing with kids, let alone females of that age, but, I do feel you deserve and need some help/understanding.

Here for a while if you want to talk or vent about it.

Thanks @Gazza75

I’ve explained to her. But she chooses to stay away from me. She can’t handle it.

Hows your day going at work

@Former-Member, that's why a 3rd party or a psychologist might help. Anyway, I will leave it alone.

My day is going pretty well. I haven't been very productive, but, I keep myself busy and entertained looking at things online. I used to spend a lot of time researching stuff for my farm, but, now i usually reseach new hobbies and things to keep myself busy. Trying not to spend to much money doing online shopping 🙂

It's a lovely day and I will probably sneak out for another walk around the block.

How did the fridge workout?

@Former-Memberspent some time trying to track down these ones. Probably a bit outside of my skill level at this stage 🙂

@Maggie @CheerBear , you might like the first one in particular 🙂

Fridge is working. Wow. What a difference. No more esky.

A walk sounds good.

Still waiting for pics @Gazza75

That's great news about the fridge @Former-Member .

It's funny how much we can take things for granted untill they stop working.

I had a power cut at my farm a couple of weeks back and I'm not really prepared for that happening. Lucky I had my tablet to use as a makeshift torch. It was so dark, I couldn't see my hand in front of my face. I had to bumble my way over to my lounge to find the tablet and it took me a minute or two.

I enjoy the walks. Probably coz i feel like I'm getting paid to exercise and get off my butt 🙂 Hopefully the pics don't take long to show up. Sometimes they take ages.

Lovely colourful pics @Gazza75

I keep a lot of candles handy for when the power goes out. We have a lot of storms here, so candles come in handy.

One year a cyclone came on the day of D’s birthday party.

I had everything prepared so well and was determined for it to go ahead.

It was outdoors. I was madly trying to light candles outside. I said to D, don’t worry this party is going ahead. And funny thing is, everyone turned up in the rain and they had a fantastic time.

I used to love entertaining.

I hate how my life has gone downhill.

I wish I knew how to get back up.

I have seen psychologists etc. the last one was a total waste of time.

More stressful getting there and no help. 8 visits doing mindfulness. Honestly. Such a waste of time.

That was my last attempt.

Ive been to many and that was the last attempt.

Thanks for chatting. Please don’t feel obligated

@Former-Member,

I used to be a bit better prepared, but, I have let things slip the last year or so. The 'friend' that was looking after my farm decided to help himself to a lot of my belongings when he left. I used to have a few good torches and lights, but, not any more. It's very maddening after I went out of my way to look after him. He never paid a cent for electricity, rent and not much on food.

I think sometimes its hard to stop our lives from spiralling down and maybe from getting out of control As for getting back up, I think it takes patience and time. Different for all of us, but, I think it is possible. I had my own dark descent last year, certainly not as bad as you and many others, but, I know it can be hard or impossible to get back what we had.

For me, I'm just trying to accept that i can't undo the past and to try keep looking forward rather than backwards.

I think good help can be very hard to find in regard to mental health. I've got a catchup with mine tomorrow and hoping it will be more productive than the last few. She's the only support I have.

Your welcome for the chat M 🙂

Are you getting up to anything this afternoon?

I’m just here trying not to cry @Gazza75

wish I could meet you and others here in person

I will eventually get on top. Just shocked at what D said today.

Ive done everything to try and make her life easier.

I honestly have spoilt her and now I feel “dumped “

I will get over it and let her go and let her see what life is like. She’s had it too easy. I’ve been too kind to her.

Im sorry to hear that people have taken advantage of you.

I was hoping to get out and walk more in winter. Now spring/summer is coming I won’t get out in the heat