Taking the plunge

Hello @Former-Member, very hot up here today

Have you been working alot lately.-- it goes up and down as we are self employed and Mr shaz can not cope with too much

How are you xx

@Former-Member @Maggie. @Former-Member @Former-Member

So much sadness and trauma in the lives of innocent people..

so much injustice in this world..

i read your stories...your pain...struggling..

I also read...courage....resilience....compassion...love...true beauty...gentle loving souls...

so hard for you to write about such trauma....

thankful that here you have a safe..non-judgemental avenue to let some of that pain...some release...some hope..

feel heard..valued..

helping others who read your stories ....to begin telling their's...

thank you

@Former-Member

know that people are drawn to you...

you are a gentle...loving soul...vulnerable at the moment understandable..

you have much to offer this world...

no need to apologise to anyone when you write...we are all equal..

all here for similar reasons..

to be listened to....

hope you have you have some peace and sleep tonight

@Former-Member I so like the way you write, straight from your heart. Thankyou for all you are offering here, we all appreciate your wisdom and care. Also we like to hear how you are to support you, but if you want that on your own thread, just tag us there, we'll be knocking down the doors. Good on you for getting to the post office, a huge achievment. Is the blasted car working, parking etc.

@Former-Member No you haven't triggered me. I do understand the fears raging once the post button has been pushed. We are here to listen and thank you for what you have shared. That is so painful to have gone through and still do go through. I can only imagine the fears regarding your daughter, that alone speaks volumes of how good a mum you are, I just wish you could believe that, but I know too well self doubt and how it takes over our minds

I think I shared before how I found it hard to find help within the mental health system, but in saying that I know many do find good supportive help there, I found an excellent social worker. It's her gentleness that works with me, nothing forced. Would there be any in your area???

@Former-Member I think I get a big part of why you are feeling alone. Keep posting, keep talking keep being you and things will become easier and the friends you have made earlier on Sane will rejoin you and we will always be here with and for you. We are hearing you and understand your pain.

@Former-Member I'm glad your hubbys app. Went ok. I'm hoping this means he is out of pain for some time now. I hope you are holding out yourself. I know you have a big week and more app. today. I don't know what time they are so can't text you in the waiting room. Well the phone won't let you through so no good. Anyway, sending warm thoughts.

My app yesterday is over for two weeks. 12 mths ago I went from having extremely high blood pressure now it's back to being extremely low. That explains the dizzy spinning world I'm living in. Also the fact that I have tried every AD and can't find help there is frustrating. I did discuss a possibility with my dr, but we can't find a solution. The meds I took last night have left me feeling hungover and worse atm. More like an extra dose of depression rather that a lifting. Anyway, I'm sending warm thoughts to you all this morning.

💞💞💞💞

@Former-Member

how are you today? any sleep at all?

I couldn't get to sleep until early hours of morning ...not deep sleep ...just drifting in and out of the world...harder to get up then...

I did think of something.....I ate 2 large pieces of toblerone at about 9.30-10pm.....not good....caffeine..

I have stopped drinking coffee...the occasional one if I am out and not after lunch...

too hard to give up the chocolate...

the other thing.....being on the computer in the evenings...especially if you have been on there during the day...

Try to adjust one of those......say goodnight to people earlier perhaps? can you focus on reading a book?..

any relaxing....meditation type music that you canlisten to? or does that do your head in

I have even heard if you are hungry...eating a banana ...the potassium helps you get to sleep...herbal tea...chamomile..

hilarious coming from she who scoffs chocolate at night and has also been on the forums late some nights..

I try to remind myself....

hoping that you can go for a walk today ...small steps....walking around the house..to the end of the driveway...to then end of the street....stretching the goal each time...

lovely talking to you here

take care

hello @Maggie

thank you for your kind, beautiful words....

I can now take a deep breath and know that I have been welcomed here...

I am a very sensitive person...add this to a mixture of all of my varying symptoms....I can allow myself to feel unwanted...that I don't fit..

the not fitting will probably never go away...I just have to look at it from a different perspective...I am me and why should it matter if I don't fit...more about my learning to like and love myself again...the rest will just happen...

your medication issues is a worry for you....they can't just give up ....I have had to change my gp a few times since moving up here in the hills area....those that assume or don't try...or become impatient with me....I politely tell them that their manner is not helping me I shall look for another doctor who is willing to help...have found another one....so far so good..

so no psychologist now?? I have read all of everyone's threads...I just struggle trying to remember the medical side belonging where...

lovely that you have a close bond with enigma here....having a back up plan as part of your self-care plan is a good idea for all of us..

the dreaded car yes I have driven....not parked ...

my little baby I have parked several times....I pushed myself out yesterday and went to 3 different places...

today my baby is taking me to a town about half an hour away where I am meeting up with my younger son....it is his day off...we will have lunch somewhere and just chat chat chat...

so must jump in the shower

I will try to check in later...if I dont please do not worry...my husband gets annoyed with me when he sees me typing away on here for too long

my blue fur baby is pulling at my hair and clothes for attention..

@enigma

pleased to read about your daughter working hard at settling back into a healthy routine...husband's injection will relieve more of his pain hopefully..

I had one of those years ago and it did work....where they inject it straight into the spine for a period of time ...can't remember now

take care all

Again, Thankyou so much for your care and support, @Maggie @Former-Member @Former-Member

Your love and kindness shines through your messages and I look forward to getting to know you more.

I'm here for you all as well.

How is your gardening going? @Maggie Have you felt up to planting anything else? 19C sounds nice to me, I wish our weather was a bit cooler. I would love to move somewhere cooler, but there's so much that has to be done aroud the house to sell it. The bathroom has been pulled apart to be renovated and tiles need replacing in the kitchen, family room. So, moving is in the "too hard basket". Next house will be smaller and newer, I don't have the energy to renovate. Today is a little cooler, hopefully I'll get out for a walk at the beach later on and get some Subway for dinner again. We have been having it once a week lately, nice and easy and reasonably healthy.

Sorry to hear that you didn't sleep well last night @Former-Member

Yes, chocolate is hard to resist and I can't have it in the house. My daughter and I had coffee and waffles out on the weekend and it came with ice cream and melted Belgium CHOCOLATE. Oh my gosh! So delicious. I find that anything with sugar in it affects my sleep. I have my 2 coffees before lunch, sometimes after, if I'm out having waffles in the afternoon. I do find that being on the forums late at night does afftect my sleep too. I usually don't chat about "heavy stuff" late at night and try and keep it light. I used to love listening to music, but now I like quiet. Yoga/pilates is something I do also, but at the moment I am doing other exercise. Hmm! Bananas give me pains in the belly, unfortunately, I do enjoy them, but try to avoid. I was introduced to bananas with Nutella the other day, another "no no".

You are very welcome on here @Former-Member and you fit in very well with us. I too am very sensitve, but am working on it. I hope that you are enjoying your lunch out with your son. Do you have 2 sons? I hope that we can be a support for you also, feel free to vent any time, as @Maggie said, if you prefer to vent on your own thread, feel free to tag us.

I hope that you are feeling ok today @Former-Member and I hope that the pain has eased for your husband.

I am going to try and get to the travel agent on Friday to see about a trip away Did I just say that? Oh dear, this is huge for me, but I am going to try my best to take my daughter away during the schoolies week. Last time I took her to the Gold Coast for 3 nights, I didn't cope well at all. It was really busy and driving around was too much for me. It's so busy there now and it's hard for me to drive in busy traffic, when I don't know where I am going. One time we were driving back to the resort, after shopping in a huge shopping centre. After a while, I realized that I had no clue where I was going, traffic everywhere, no GPS. I started to cry, I laugh at myself now though. Must have looked hilarious and I wonder, what the heck my daughter thought. Anyway, I've learnt to pull over and calm down and think about what I am doing. We eventually found an area that I was familiar with.

Sending you all love and remember to do something nice for yourself and treat yourselves to something nice.

Hi again @Maggie I just remembered that you asked me if there would be a social worker locally for me to see. I would have to ask my GP again, if she knows anyone that understands Complex PTSD. I got fed up with trying different psychologists counsellors etc., having to go through my life story again, was draining and frustrating, but thanks for thinking of me @Maggie
I went to a 10 week course this year and had some private counselling with the lady who runs the course. That was helpful, probably could have had some more, but it became stressful. The drive there was busy, hard to find park, plus the counsellor was a bit unreliable and I found it all too stressful and it was draining my energy instead of being helpful. I would be great to find a good counsellor closer, but I just haven't had the motivation to look into it. I am going to google now and see what I can find.

Take care. Hmm! No emojis on here.