Taking the plunge

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@Maggie wrote:

@Former-Member I will be ready with my iPad in the morning. We can talk our way through the difficult times and hope hubby gets some relief. So glad you managed to sleep. It just shows how tired you are, hope tonight you can get some peace and sleep, but I do know the app. Will be on your mind. Lunch with daughter will be lovely to finish off a stressful time.

Thanknyou for your words regarding MI. I think because I seem to multiply more, rather than integrate, I feel defeated, even though as a group,we manage. It's expectations not from my counsellor, more me really. I had no help either till I was 50 and the wheels fell completely off the wagon, then while in hospital, I was given just about every label know at the time. Some I've disposed of myself, just keep what I believe is real to me now. But then the mental health gave up. A lost cause, too hard basket. Then I found my counsellor and slowly we are working through extreme trauma. I know you understand this.

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Hi @Maggie

I look forward to seeing the pics of your Iris's - they are a beautiful flower. Another one I can't grow here. Bunnings must love you lol 😁

I do understand. It was at 50 years of age that the wheels fell of my wagon too! Everything comes to the fore mentally at 50. Very painful (understatement), but that's its way of coming to the surface to be resolved. Once the personalities intergrate is when you will be found in all your glory underneath all the emotional pain and loss of identity... is what I found. Everyone in their own time. When I look back I think it was my minds way of escaping the nightmare reality of abuse at that time.

The numbness was extreme - I was frozen in bewilderment as my tender young mind could not process what was happening at the time. Mixed emotions and helplessness everywhere is so easy to get lost in. But there is always the light inside of the shadow that is uniquely you and no one can take that from us in the end. We just have to believe in her one day to let her shine forth as one. My love and warm thoughts are with you.

Thank you @Former-Member. Glad you liked my cross stitch. I so enjoyed stitching her. Cross stitch eases my mind....Thank you for your kind words and support re my husband's procedure tomorrow. It is hard and means a lot 💕xx

Thinking of you @Former-Member 🌹

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@Bella3 wrote:

@Former-Member you know what I mean. Whenever my girl goes through something eg someone hurts her, it feels like they've hurt me.
What amazes me is that we go through all the hurts etc again, watching them go through it.

Anyway. Night night 💟

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Ditto @Former-Member I know exactly what you mean. It hurts like hell when our children hurt. All we want is their happiness and to protect them from the pain we endured. We know through our own bad experiences how painful that can be and yes, when they go through struggles it can feel like we are going through it all over again. You aren't super sensitive - you are a very caring mother who loves her daughter with all her heart.

I have a friend whom never had children - when I asked her why she said it was because she was so bullied at school she could not cope going through that again (through witnessing her child going through it). Sad when it comes to that.

When my daughter was in her darkest times she would self destruct quite seriously - it was soul destroying for me to watch, and the helplessness I felt of not "being able to fix the problem" was pure grief for me. I could not protect my daughter or take her pain. My love then just not enough. It was awful. This went on for 6 years. She still has her moments but has turned a corner where she is not as depressed and her outlook on life much better. And she now tells me that she loves me and that she was sorry she hurt us - that I was a good mum. That was music to my ears. Oh, thank goodness. Her happiness and well being is everything to me.

And your daughter is at that tender age, where there can be so much self doubt, anxiety and pain. I hope I am not asking you to repeat yourself if you have talked about this on another thread - but is your daughter having struggles with depresssion or anxiety and the like? Has she been hurt by anyone? You don't have to answer that ofcourse if you are not comfortable to do so, but I just want you to know that I am all ears and heart when you feel the need to talk about anything. I like you @Former-Member xx

@Former-Member

@Former-Member@Former-Member@Shaz51@IrTo Hope you all have a goodish day.❣❣❣