Taking the plunge

No @Maggie ..... I get confused too when there are too many choices ..... ❣️

No @Maggie you are not mad 😊. I do the same things as you with going the long way round and I make lots of mistakes. Late last year I grappled with the word love too. Personally I came to sit with there are lots of forms of love (yes one word, many meanings). I think for me I struggle to feel love. I know that are things I love like chocolate, my dog, a beautiful sunset, my bed, my flowers, my friends and family, my forum family etc but I think that there are different levels of it. I think for me love is about being connected to something and it feeling good about it....the warm fuzzies. It's funny because until I wrote this I didn't think I feel love but maybe it's as simple as something that makes you smile and feel comforted. There's my best attempt at this concept on this day at this time 😊. Ask me tomorrow and I may have a different answer as my mind and mood changes with the wind 😳😝.

@Teej@Faith-and-Hope I think something is clicking into place when you said @Teej maybe it's something that makes us smile and feel comforted. I have a few conversations happening in my head atm, it's ok if you don't get that, it just confuses the simple and nothing makes much sense, yet, it all does make sense. I had better leave it there, sounding a bit spooky.

Hearinf you @Maggie ...... 💕

Hi @Maggie

Interesting question. What is love? For me it is connecting with someone on a deeper level where a bond is formed. And this gives birth to loyalty and faithfulness - seeking the best welfare of the person as much as my own. Love is being there for others and they for us to the best of our ability. It never deliberately hurts, foresakes or abandon but endures all. If that's not there it's only words. It's commitment. Love can be on many levels - love versus great love. And that can be not only with a person but with a pet - any living thing. Nature breathes too. That's my thoughts on it and to me in my journey in today's world a higher love is very rare and precious. I have that with my husband otherwise "I would of never known it" or believed in it. We love each other more than life itself.

Great grief/despair can come with it when parted or betrayed. Broken heart syndrome does exist.

Self love for me personally is not doubting myself. With all the hurt thrown at me my confidence was/is low. So I acknowledge the good in everything including myself (which does incorporate acceptance ) but always strives to be a better me to reach my highest potential and purpose. That for me is working on self belief and in the good that surrounds me ( gratitude). That for me personally is the best thing for my well being and discerning what that is and nurturing it for myself and others is loving me. Self doubt, fear, past hurts and worry robs me of self love and can lead to neglecting myself and needs.

I think we can all be at different places and levels with our capacity to receive and give love. It's a growth

@Former-Member Yes different forms of love do exist. You are strong and have overcome so much. I know it's a work in progress. My counsellor says we are like plastercine, another spelling error that can't be detected, lol, always changing shapes, I like that. I've only been in touch with feeling in the last year, so I'm at the labelling identifying stage. I've lived numb, some call it automatic mode, I call it dead woman mode, functioning not feeling, going through the motions, puppet on a string. Seems the strings have broken free and that's something I'm really looking for freedom. Free to be, whoever that is doesn't matter, but freedom atm seems to be everything.

I can hear you regarding your husbands upcoming appointments, I'm hoping this change happening for you atm continues and you dream of a healthy hubby and a new home all come true.

The plant, is the bush type not hanging basket and old fashioned. Yes a bright yellow pig face, I couldn't believe my luck. Everything is growing madly now, daily I can see new growth.

Ive been painting some pots making a wind chime, it's fun and relaxing. Enjoy the rest of your day. 💛💛

You didn't need a spell check @Maggie as you were spot on with plastercine 😄. I loved the way your counsellor used that to described inner growth - and sometimes that can be two steps forward and one back....

I do understand numb. I was in a state of numbness for years!!! It's a form of not feeling the full extent of our hurts and emotional pain/trauma that protects the mind initially from more than it can handle - but in my experience it can build walls. And yes, it does stop feelings of joy, inner fulfilment etc. I still get like it at times when grieving - and feel nothing but flat. I have to take a leap of faith then and push myself to do things and not let it stop me. So for me it's doing not what I feel but what I think is right. And sometimes at the end of the day I do feel something, do feel inner achievement - but it can start all over again the next day. It's a work in progress. But sounds like you have taken a step forward and are moving forward. Keep going....inner peace and freedom and the love that gets us there is what happiness it is all about.

I am finding it hard to see past the anxiety of hubby's appts presently so really am pushing at the moment. Can't let myself or anyone down - that's my motto presently. So I am really taking the plunge...

Painting and creating is relaxing. This and your garden sounds so lovely. Would love to see some pics when's you are up to it. 😊

Hello @Faith-and-Hope - so good to hear from you. Hoping all is well 🌹

@Former-Member I'm not one bit surprised you are struggling with hubby's appointment. Not knowing what you are up against leaves you open to all sorts of questions and extra stressors. Is it November that they are scheduled?

Yes I hadn't realised the numb zone also robbed the happiness and joy also, and yes those walls. I think your husband has been a great help in bringing these down. Is that correct? We never stop learning and growing. Did you know that your nose and ears continue growing. Just dropping in a giggle there, but it's apparently true.

I just took some pics of my garden but the sun is in the wrong position, I'll try later, I need the pig face to be open, they are just beautiful.

Yes a relaxing day here after so much activity over the weekend. I try to outrun my thoughts, it's never works, just leaves everything exhausted.

You are a very intelligent person @Former-Member, gifted in getting things down and understood, which brings me to a question about the writing group, any progress? Or are you too stressed. If my question causes stress I apologise in advance, just picking up on natural talent.

We are having perfect weather in this part of the country, low 20s each day, I can hear a lawn mower outside, someone's busy. I saw a small plane out this morning, taking advantage of the conditions. Any news on the new house? I might have a walk round the garden, I love grass under my feet. Take care. 😍😍

@Former-Member I think these are better.