Need to vent

Hi @Littletink_

You will need the assistance of a social worker or mental health counsellor for advice and guidance on how to handle stepping back in your particular circumstances and what to do when your partner reacts. I had to stand firm. The more I did for my daughter the more she demanded and could quite abusive when I stepped back at first. Threatening even self harm. I didn't give into it in but stuck to the advice given. And in the end it worked. It is stressful to watch, it is hard, but tough love is needed at times.

They won't do anything for themselves if they know we will do it for them and their is no consequences. If your partner refuses to do those small things that you state are good for her and "that she quite capable of" - step back and don't you do it for her - let her learn the consequences even if she rants and raves. When she realises you mean business by not doing everything or givining into her demands or tantrums - over time she will start to do more For herself. small steps.

You will also find support and guidance from certain support groups for carers of loved ones with MI, whom may have had to deal with and overcome the same difficulties. You can google these in your area.

For a person to truly get better they have to be part of the deal of helping themselves or their minds will grow even weaker. They need to stand on their own two feet more. Finding the right advice and professional guidance here is the first step. Let us know how you get on 😊

Hi @Littletink_

I am so sorry to read of your struggle with the mental health team. We also had similar problems with our daughter. They closed her case when she was suicidal because she was not communicating with them.

What you quoted the MH team are saying about admissions to a mental health psychiatric ward is not correct according to my experience in my state. A person is admitted when their mental health deteriorates to a degree where they are of risk of harm to themselves or others. And being suicidal is part of that. If I was you I would be seeking free legal advice of the mental health act and your rights here from your local community centre or where it is available if you need to pursue this. Also lodging your concerns with the Dept of Health and the ombudsman if necessary. For quick action please don't hesitate to call your local hospital for advice.

When your partner had her previous hospital admissions, was she pretending to be well when they released her? (our daughter did this to get out). This is a difficult situation and why they don't move some onto the psychiatric wards for a longer stay.

I would also be telling this to your GP as ours said he could interven in regards to our daughter needing urgent mental assessment in hospital if it was necessary - your GP may be able to do the same. But knowing your rights here under the mental health act in your state is a must.

Obtaining a psychiatrist for your partner as soon as possible is the priority - you will get a proper diagnosis/treatment plan and he will be able to guide you exactly on what to do if she does need hospitalisation or immediate assistance. Try and assist your partner and/or see the psychiatrist first on your own - tell him everything you have told us here. He can instruct you of what to do in such and emergency and/or when she won't help herself and you will get a clear diagnosis and better long term treatment plan. So the sooner you can get in to see one the better. If you state it is an emergency and your GP emphasises this on the referral - you may get in to see the psychiatrist earlier.

The mental health team will not support patients whom don't contact them or help themselves. But the irony here is that unstable people cannot always voice their need for help. And by the MH team washing their hands of the situation, this leaves carers like us in dangerous situation when the patient is at risk of harming themselves. In my opinion if someone is expressing suicide and self harm, the mental health team should treat that as an emergency and assess the situation no questions asked. In my opinion, I think a lot of this comes down to cuts in government funding unfortunately and it there is not enough staffing and psychiatric beds available - which in a wealthy country like ours with suicide being classed now a national crisis - this is not good enough. They are closing cases of suicidal patients and that just does not make sense to me and is not providing adequate support to the mentally ill and families. It leaves us feeling helpless.

When our daughter threatened to attempt the second time and texted this to others we had to call the police For her safety. It did save her life. This was all because we had nowhere else to turn at that time because the mental health team let us down. Unfortunately a lot of people are having to do this for the same reasons. We need better funded emergency health care services and resources as this is becoming a crisis for many, carers included.

I hope this has helped. Have to go somewhere for now but am here for you whenever you need to talk.

Hello @Littletink_

I am so sorry to read of your struggle with the mental health team too my friend .

We also had similar problems as well with my husband , they closed his case as they said he was not doing what they told him to do and they said i was to blame

Hi @Littletink_

It is appalling that our public psychiatric hospitals are so underfunded and under resourced, that there can be no availibity for those struggling with suicide ideation to seek emergency assistance. That is what it seems it has come done to. A trip to the local MP and letters to State and Federal Health Ministers (and shadow), would help to lobby for such. If we all did this change could occur. It would also appear that the only way to receive health care in this area is to be in a private fund, which countless cannot afford and become disadvantaged to the degree that it could cost them their life. A tragic reality.

It was good to read that you have an option of another hospital one and half hours away. At least that gives you something to plan for when in a emergency even though you shouldn't have to go to those lengths.

Please to read that the GP is on it and is trying for an emergency appt with previous psychiatrist. The sooner your partner is on a suitable medication treatment plan the better. Just one thing to be mindful of when changing and starting a new medication, some can feel worse before they get better and it does take time for the body to adequately absorbed the new drug/s (about 6 weeks). She will need to be closely watched for awhile. She really should be in hospital. And this new medication needs to be taken consistently at the same time every day for best results.

Once this happens and your partner starts to feel more stabilised, then slowly encouragement for her to do more things for herself is the next step; for her to be encouraged to make personal meaningful goals will also give her a sense of independence and purpose that is vital for recovery and some type of normalisation in the longer term.

Its a rocky hard road with bumps and turns and is tough, but certainly possible for a tide to turn if the sufferer makes an effort for improvement. I hope it gets better for you soon my friend. Please know that if it does get a bit much there are face to face mental health support groups (Carers Australia) and the like that you can contact for extra assistance. In the meantime we are here for you. I reside on the East Coast of NSW.