Well, I notice I rarely get angry but when I do, it reaches flashpoint very quickly and very noticeably. I very rarely reach this point, but when I do, I can scream, yell and throw things. Almost like a tantrum and then very quickly it is over with and out of my system while others are standing around wondering what the heck just happened.
My most experienced negative emotions are shame and sorrow. They can both envelop me quickly and overwhelm me fully. When I am down, it seems I am really down. Just like when I am up, I am really up. Most of the time I am euthymic nowdays thankfully, which means I am neither up or down.
I know I have some major triggers which can cause my emotions to plummet, my Father being my major one. He can be very cruel and just when I decide to cut ties with him, he will somehow get under my skin all over again with promises he can change and that somehow deep down he does care. Weird.
I also am heavily triggered by major losses in my life. My Mum, my brother and my best friend who have all passed away suddenly. Sometimes I listen to their favourite music meaning to feel good about having known them, but it makes me feel bad.
My voices are also a big trigger, but I've noticed their frequency and topics of conversation can depend a little on other triggers I've identified. It's taken a lot of self-reflection to realise that and it is only a recent realisation. My delusions are a trigger towards negative emotions, but strangely have nothing to do with other triggers (they are so far out there that I never seem to know where they came from let alone believed).
Is this a good start @outlander or am I totally off track? Sorry for the long post.
