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I feel...

I feel...

I feel desperately lonely yet, I feel like I don't belong anywhere. I don't belong in the 'Normal' world because I am tarred with the brush of mental ill health, yet because I've sort of stabilised now, I don't belong with my former peers either. I feel beige, uncoloured and boring with no emotion really even though if I had to say anything it is gutted. I feel trapped in a world I don't want and didn't ask for, yet whenever I try and break the shackles of failure, I am thrust back into the dark and reminded yet again of my failures (my Father is a constant person to remind me). I feel alone, even in a crowded room. I feel unheard, even if I am screaming loudly.

I guess I am just searching for something and not sure what.

Does anyone else feel beige?

871 replies

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In response to: I feel...

Re: I feel...

If you go 3 nights without @Queenie you're heading towards mania. Please try to do the opposite of what you want to do.

Thinking of you lass 💕

In response to: Re: I feel...

Re: I feel...

I managed 2hrs sleep @Kurra @outlander and I feel rip roaring and ready to pounce. I got mad at my PS4 earlier because I tried playing it and it froze (which sucks because it's brand new). I found playing aggressive games makes me aggressive so best I stop playing those types of games. I also swear more after playing it.

In response to: Re: I feel...

Re: I feel...

my goodness @Queenie where has the other Q gone! im not saying its a bad thing however your worried about mania.. i do want you to be happy though.

yes lol aggressive games me aggressive too and have thrown many a yelling a the screen tantrum lol

In response to: Re: I feel...

Re: I feel...

I shopped til' I dropped today and now I am excited @outlander. Not sure why really, but I am. I'm so fidgety. Took me 3 hours to wrap 8 Christmas presents. Buying them is one thing, sitting down and actually wrapping them is entirely different! I can't sit still long enough. I've got techno blasting in my ears because it's the only music capable of keeping up with me. It's like everything is exciting me, I can't sleep. No time to eat (except Extra gum and Coke Zero). I'm just so full of energy @outlander. I love it!

If this is mania, this is gorgeous! I'm going shopping again tomorrow and baking up a storm in the kitchen making Christmas food to freeze. All the parcels arriving at my house from shopping is so exciting! Gorgeous gorgeous gorgeous!

In response to: Re: I feel...

Re: I feel...

my goodness me @Queenie

well done for getting all those things done is amazing. it really is! you do need to eat though. even something small. otherwise youll loose your energy Q

In response to: Re: I feel...

Re: I feel...

You must be psychic @outlander (??) as the Mrs just threw me a packet of crackers and told me to eat so I'll shut up for 5 minutes. Hahahahaha!!! Anyhoo, I'm eating those and drinking yet more Coke Zero.

In response to: Re: I feel...

Re: I feel...

no lol i was jsut looking out for yourwellbeing @Queenie good your eating something. shes taking care of you which is nice. maybe you should lay off the coke zero lol

In response to: Re: I feel...

Re: I feel...

I promise this will be my last can for tonight. I have to be up early for shopping tomorrow. Exciting! I want to see all the gorgeous Christmas food like gingerbread icecream.

In response to: Re: I feel...

Re: I feel...

I'm randomly dancing to Ed Sheeran music. Usually that makes me really sad and upset, but I'm strangely finding it uplifting. I have a friend who looks like Ed, so much so we tease him about it. It's kinda funny.

In response to: Re: I feel...

Re: I feel...

your sounding really excited @Queenie its great to see this side of you. yes please slow down on the coke even jsut abit. stick to the water. but keep dancing. its good for you.

is yor mrs starting to look at you funny yet?

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