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New to Sane

TylerContributor23 Sept 2017, 11:30 pm AEST

New to Sane

Hi There, I have recently joined Sane. I have just recently moved to QLD from overseas and I was in New Zealand for 9 years.I am really struggling with being back home here.My husband is still back there.My parents are here my father has bad dementure/Alzheimer's and my mum who was always quite controlling.my whole life.Well she is worse now and medicated on alcohol and gets stuck into me.I have a step son who lives in nz and she has always made him feel like an outsider and not part of our family.Since arriving back I feel very lonely and isolated.I have two kids who are 8 and 6 and just started school.Ive had problems sleeping since I moved here and depression getting worse for me

25 replies

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In response to: New to Sane

TylerContributor22 Apr 2018, 11:27 pm AEST

Re: New to Sane

Thanks Shaz. I have been having a depressed episode the last few days. I will go see my gp as im having such a breakdown and suicidal thoughts going through my mind constantly. In the past when Im this bad ive always been admitted to hospital so will see what happens

In response to: Re: New to Sane

Shaz51Senior Contributor22 Apr 2018, 11:36 pm AEST

Re: New to Sane

ohh walking with you @Tyler and keep in touch my friend

and if you need to talk we have @Former-Member here if you need to talk

In response to: New to Sane

Unknown userMember23 Apr 2018, 12:42 am AEST

Re: New to Sane

Hi @Tyler, its really good you've reached out here, that you have enough insight to know when you're at 'tipping edge' and getting some support 👍
It must be hard settling into a new country, but also into a really taxing family situation.

So sorry to hear of your father's alzheimers and passing away only last month 😞 This must be causing a lot of your emotional distress that bring up those suicidal thoughts. Don't i know about that!

My mum died January - Dec i moved in to help my parents and kinda willingly stuck here with dad's worsening (is that a word? lol), worsening dementia & ; can't live alone. My daughter also died in Jan, 2011, which landed me in hospital quite suicidad.

Its the emotional distress we want to escape - ya gotta talk it out.

Sorry relations with your mum have always been strained. Makes it hard.S Zounds like my mum was. Soooo annoying when they throw our MI in our face to disarm us, bastards!

You soyend like u have a good understanding of MI & personality types.

Sorry you didn't 'gel' with the sychologist. Sometimes it takes a couple of visitz. Don't give up teying, maybe even a newbe. But sounds like the mental health care worker is a better fit for you 👍 / more supportive, They do tend to be stretched though. Can u ring her & talk about the SI youre having? Hmm, feeling disconnected from family is hard / isolating / lonely... another loss 😞

Family interactions go really strange after loss. My siblings nearly drove me out of town with mums passing etc OMStars! So stressful already. ...

Cutting them out for a time is often helpful (short term). I 'get' that leaving Brisbane might help, but we do tend to tak our problems with us. Trust me, I, ve moved 45 times. You didn'd digdthis holeuTyler. IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT! and, we CAN get out of it, in time.

In response to: Re: New to Sane

TylerContributor23 Apr 2018, 1:01 am AEST

Re: New to Sane

Thanks for your support lapses it really helps. i am so sorry for everything you went through as reading your heartbreaking story. Sounds like we have both been thru similar with our dads both having the dementure. My siblings kind of turned up for funeral and then went back to their lives overseas so the fall out with my mum is tough. Dad was my closest friend not my mum even through his demented state. I think since our move and all the changes everyone unhappy. my hubby hasnt had a job since jan he is still looking and he had 25 years experience as radiographer and still no luck.

In response to: New to Sane

utopiaSenior Contributor25 Apr 2018, 5:12 pm AEST

Re: New to Sane

Sorry about the passing of your loved father @Tyler. I bet you have some lovely memories of the two of you together. Cherish those memories.
I understand about getting to a level of depression when you need to go to hospital. I find it the best way for me to rest and then start getting better.
I hope your gp is a help. Is it possible to also see the lady on Saturday? Maybe someone can help with the kids for an hour. Or if old enough, they could wait in the waiting room.
Please let us know how you get on.

In response to: New to Sane

TylerContributor25 Apr 2018, 7:10 pm AEST

Re: New to Sane

I feel this is only place I can vent as my immediate family or my mother has cut me out.I had rough day on Monday I had attempted suicide Sunday night.Then Monday went to gp who to keep me safe I had to go to main hospital in Brisbane then got referred to psych ward.I had a doctor who spoke with me quite inexperienced and no empathy.ahe asked if I wanted to stay the night but after being in wait room with alot of P addicts.I felt my place was at home with kids.So after two buses home as my hubby couldn't pick me up due to kids curriculum activities I went home.I still felt terrible after I was home.I miss my father v much but my mother has taken the role of I was the carer for last 8 years you've only been here last 3 months absolutely nothing compared to your sister of 3 years who supported me.

In response to: Re: New to Sane

Shaz51Senior Contributor26 Apr 2018, 12:55 pm AEST

Re: New to Sane

afternoon @Tyler

how are you today and sending you hugs

In response to: Re: New to Sane

TylerContributor27 May 2018, 10:01 pm AEST

Re: New to Sane

Hey guys , I havent posted since that last time. I have just spent the last 3 weeks in hospital as after my Dad died and my Mum has been completely controlling and awful in her approach to me. During the funeral process I got no say in what I would like in my Dads funeral. My mother took over and my brother and sister just followed everything she said. I had no communication with my Mum since I was in hospital but it was only when she came in and demanded a family counselling session. Which did not go down well as she refused to listen to how I feel. Even my psychiatrist had difficulty with her in our session. She recently found me in hospital and I was still not in best place mentally. She doesnt care and told me that her news is bigger than all of my feeling and what I have been going through. She told me that she has breast cancer and I need to be there to support her. I am struggling with this as for the two weeks apart from that counselling session she refused to visit me. But I am supposed to change gears and be there for her which I am really struggling with. The way she treats me I fall deeper and deeper into a darker place

In response to: Re: New to Sane

Shaz51Senior Contributor28 May 2018, 1:01 pm AEST

Re: New to Sane

Hello @Tyler, soo good to see you here

sorry to hear about your dad , sending you tender hugs

are you still in hospital or are you home now

It is good that your psychiatrist had difficulty with your mum in your session my friend , it gives him an understanding on what is going on in your life , and that he can really help you

remember you are not alone my friend and remember to put a @ in front of a name so we get an email notice from you

Hello @utopia, @Former-Member, @Former-Member

In response to: New to Sane

utopiaSenior Contributor28 May 2018, 3:33 pm AEST

Re: New to Sane

@Tyler. So glad to hear you had 3 weeks in hospital. I find hospital a safe place for me to be while I get better.
As @Shaz51 said. It's really good your psychiatrist saw how your mum behaved in your family session. As he can see how she doesn't listen to you and it's all about her.
I guess what you need to work out now, is what amount of interaction you want to have with your mum and what you will and won't put up with. You can also choose to have no contact with her. Or no face to face contact with her.
Your main priority is your health - not hers. You need to make yourself your number one priority.
It might be good to discuss this issue with your psychiatrist or psychologist and ask them for feedback on the different options.
Not an easy situation at all.

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