Hi Everyone,
Im sorry its been ages since I last sent a message. Yes the changes and adjustment had been alot to take in after the massive move to a new country. Things seemed to get worse and worse from then on. My father had alzheimers and that was main reason we moved to Brisbane. He had deterioated alot since last time he visited me in Auckland. He had been going to respite a few days a week to help my mum. In the past couple of months my mum had to get a hip operation and I was caring two days a week for him. He did have to go into a nursing home after she had her operation. Everytime I visited he seemed to get worse and worse. He was in final stages and he passed away on the 1st of March as he was admitted to hospital and just got too weak and he got the pneumonia with aspirations.My Dad and I were really close. My main issues with my depression/anxiety was bad as my relationship with my mum has always been strained. She is a controlling type A personality and is always right about everything. I could never have an opinion about anything. If I did and it was wrong she would blame me and the fact that it was my illness that made me feel the way that I did.
I finally got a MCP to see a psychologist I went to one and we didnt really gel she had no empathy and rushed me through my answers. I found another one who isnt a psychologist but a mental health care worker but I find her very supportive but ive only seen her once. She works on a Saturday and with kids it is difficult to find the time to see her. But now I just feel disconnected from my immediate family. Ive cut them out as they were making my mental illness worse and I know they are grieving. But now my Dad has gone I feel i cant connect with them.
Our family is in a situation now where all I want to do is leave Brisbane. I feel like we have dug ourselves a hole that we cant get out of.
Thanks for listening
